Kids: Today, one of the children at my daycare came up to me and bit...

By mew - 25/10/2011 18:04 - Canada

Today, one of the children at my daycare came up to me and bit me on the face. He laughed so hard at my scream, that he threw up in my lap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 175

You deserved it 3 236

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Same thing different taste

By alostr1 - 06/02/2015 17:32 - United States

Today, while in the waiting room at the dentist's, some kids were running and screaming. One of them stopped right beside me, turned to face me, and threw up in my lap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 532

You deserved it 2 497

By Anonymous - 18/09/2015 21:14 - United States - Jonesboro

Today, at the small daycare I run, I turned around to put something away. I heard a splashing sound and then saw one of my kids vomiting. He puked several times, and managed to hit the only rug in the entire house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 500

You deserved it 1 989

By Kylie - 26/01/2010 16:13 - United States

Today, at work at daycare, this kid was coughing really bad, so I put my hand in front of his mouth in case he was choking on something so he could spit it out. But nope he wasn't choking, he was sick. He puked right into my hands. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 010

You deserved it 28 648

Get me out of here

By fraz206 - 18/03/2019 16:00

Today, after feeling sick all day at work, my shift was about to end. Twenty minutes before I was able to clock out, some kid puked all over herself in the playground. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 000

You deserved it 174

By adeeri - 04/09/2014 01:24 - United States - Jackson

Today, a little kid accidentally ran into me at the pool. He apologized by biting my leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 297

You deserved it 3 229

By Anonymous - 27/02/2010 06:36 - United States

Today, I was babysitting to make a few extra dollars. While changing one of the kid's diapers, I turned around to find the other kid gone. I turned back around frantically, only to get poop flung at my face. I guess I found him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 609

You deserved it 3 176

By MommyProblems - 19/01/2014 05:17 - United States

Today, my 2-year-old son put his hand on my face, gave me a sweet kiss, and put his cheek against mine. Then he slapped me hard enough to leave a mark, laughed, and scrambled away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 037

You deserved it 6 860

By PiZzA_FaCe - 29/05/2009 21:09 - United States

Today, I was working at a day care center. A 5 year old boy came up to me telling me he wanted to eat my face. Confused, I asked him why. He said, "Because your face looks like pizza." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 337

You deserved it 5 279

By mandy - 10/04/2009 15:35 - United States

Today, I was babysitting my neighbor's kid. We were playing in the yard, when he fell and got a small scratch on his leg. I gasp, and he takes a huge breath in and yells, "FUUUCK!!!" as loud as possible. The parents thought it was me, and the mother slapped me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 281

You deserved it 3 559

By Anonymous - 31/08/2010 16:32 - United States

Today, it's my nephew's second birthday. He was sitting on my lap, so I started tickling him. He laughed and squirmed so much, he smashed his mouth on my desk. Two bloody hours at the hospital later, he has no two front teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 959

You deserved it 9 917

ciarafox9 9

Wednesday 26 October 2011 0:13

It's like a double rainbow..

NEEPLES 7

Wednesday 26 October 2011 0:16

Be careful. I heard that species can have rabies.

Comments

MaryPoppins88 14

Wednesday 26 October 2011 20:20

The zombie apocalypse has started!

Jonern128 2

Wednesday 26 October 2011 22:49

Omg that's the funniest FML I've heard in a while!

Bartimaeus 7

Wednesday 26 October 2011 23:11

Get that kid an exorcism fast...

p33lzhear 6

Thursday 27 October 2011 0:36

i swear, little children are the spawns of the devil. you have my admiration for just working at a daycare.

MissLyonsBaby 4

Thursday 27 October 2011 1:22

Toddlers bite when they're excited :L Suppose that's no consolation to you though :L FYL

unknownfork 12

Thursday 27 October 2011 2:43

FYJ

YoUglyMama 0

Thursday 27 October 2011 3:55

Chuckee

TheLBG 5

Thursday 27 October 2011 18:01

What a horrible, rude little brat! His parents need to teach their little beast some bounderies and manners!

iBiteRoses 22

Thursday 27 October 2011 21:23

Sounds like the stuff that happens to my mom, she works with 2 and 3 year olds, they like to pull her hair and pour juice on her and pee on her (!)

ayala19 0

Thursday 27 October 2011 22:15

Little Bastard!

Keywords

Poopoo peepee Embarrassing Love Miscellaneous Christmas Romantic Break-ups Annoying Money Gross Argument Ironic Awkward Friends Haircut Cute Lonely Holidays Relatable Work Bosses Capitalism Cars You're fired Covid Health Jealousy Cheating Parenting Kids

The Top

Today, myself and my pug entered a novelty dog competition at the local fair. We won first prize in the lookalike contest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 303

You deserved it 250

Today, I found out that in the three years I've been dating my boyfriend, his parents have secretly been going through all of his emails, including the ones I've sent him with "sexy" pictures attached. I can't look his parents in the eye without being reminded that they've both seen me naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 300

You deserved it 14 749

The Top

Today, I was caught trying to use the employee bathroom at the back of the store when an employee asked if I worked there. I responded with, “Oh what? Are you a hall monitor? That’s what I thought!” but ended up bumping into a corner and my nose started bleeding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 141

You deserved it 1 640

Today, I went to get my blood drawn for the first time. After I explained to the nurse how nervous I was, she replied, "Oh honey, don't worry! This is my first time too!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 737

You deserved it 2 992

Today, my boyfriend gave me a long, philosophical explanation about how he doesn't love me, but we should still have sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 856

You deserved it 3 870

Today, I was at a pet store cuddling an apparently overaggressive chinchilla when it decided to bite me and run out of my hands. It is now nowhere to be found and I have to pay for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 460

You deserved it 10 027

Today, I had a rough day and was extremely tired. I took a nap on the couch, and woke up to a guy robbing my house. I pretended I was still sleeping, waiting a chance to grab him or run out safely. I ended up falling back asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 535

You deserved it 24 310

Today, I was diagnosed with migraines. Any loud sounds or bright lights make it worse. I'm the drummer for a heavy metal band, so I now have to choose between really bad migraines or a career. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 161

You deserved it 4 664

Same thing different taste

Get me out of here

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