Miscellaneous: Today, Santa ran over my foot with a Segway. FML

By areyouserial - 05/12/2011 13:21 - United States

Today, Santa ran over my foot with a Segway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 229

You deserved it 3 030

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By moopymoplady - 29/11/2011 00:44 - Canada

Today, I saw Santa. He gave me the finger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 279

You deserved it 5 629

By Anonymous - 08/02/2013 21:20 - United States - Woodbridge

Today, I was taking a stroll in our yard, when my mother decided it would be hilarious to run me down with her Segway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 194

You deserved it 3 689

By evil Santa - 25/12/2014 03:48 - United States - Solon

Today, I was mugged by a guy in a Santa suit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 145

You deserved it 3 215

The Brian Harvey

By Yougotmail - 17/07/2022 06:00

Today, I managed to run over my own foot with my own car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 446

You deserved it 656

Move, bitch! Get out the way!

By FlatFoot - 05/10/2017 07:00 - United States - New York

Today, my dad ran over my foot with his work truck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 944

You deserved it 321

By Anonymous - 18/12/2012 05:15 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I accidentally knocked over a mall Santa on his way to meet some children. I've never had that many hate-filled eyes on me at once. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 872

You deserved it 6 309

By Anonymous - 20/04/2013 01:16 - New Zealand

Today, I was the victim of a drive-by egging by some bastard riding a Segway. He still got away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 011

You deserved it 9 275

By Anonymous - 17/07/2013 17:38 - United States - Monroe

Today, an old lady steamrolled over my foot with her wheelchair, then laughed as she slowly rolled away, leaving my toes in ruins. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 164

You deserved it 3 847

Steady as she goes

By Slippin' - 17/11/2022 17:00 - United States - Steele

Today, I tried to walk on the sidewalk. Actually, it was so slippery that I had to shimmy across it. Then I shimmied too quickly and fell down. Now everything hurts. Maybe next time I should bring a sled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 626

You deserved it 143

By Anonymous - 22/08/2019 17:00 - United Kingdom - Poole

Today, I managed to break my ankle by running it over with the wheelchair I've used on a daily basis for the last 6 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 631

You deserved it 181

Goddess_Rummy 13

Monday 5 December 2011 19:04

Is it because you have been naughty this year?

boofgall 16

Monday 5 December 2011 19:09

A Segway? Times sure have changed.

Comments

jackeechan 10

Monday 5 December 2011 21:51

I think that means you made the naughty list

Calen5556 0

Monday 5 December 2011 21:55

Santa can't walk anymore. All those damn cookies

XxPieTheifxX 6

Monday 5 December 2011 22:18

Really?!

The_Troller 14

Monday 5 December 2011 22:38

YES RLY.

sikmunkee 9

Monday 5 December 2011 22:19

dasher,dancer,prancer,vixon,comet,cupid,donner,blitzen,anx rudolph were on vacation

mrz1177 11

Monday 5 December 2011 22:27

He does need a way to get around dosnt he?

maninthebox11 8

Monday 5 December 2011 22:29

How do you miss him? He's a fat guy with red and white on.. And a beard.. Pretty easy to spot .. Stupid.

bananagrams 9

Monday 5 December 2011 22:44

Wow, Santa is really being a dick this year

NoahCOD24 5

Monday 5 December 2011 23:26

Ouch

afulks78 11

Monday 5 December 2011 23:49

They see me roll on my Segway. Trying to catch me white and nerdy

SCOLA 0

Tuesday 6 December 2011 0:11

Ouch!

Keywords

Miscellaneous Embarrassing Awkward Sleep Work Love Dating Am I overreacting? Annoying Parents Health Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Fight Public freakouts Drugs Neighbours Cops Medication Relatable Animals Dogs Teenagers Ironic Video games Gamers Zoom

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Today, I woke up to find our Christmas tree knocked over, unwrapped presents scattered everywhere, and my mom passed out on the sofa with a bottle of booze. Merry Christmas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 209

You deserved it 2 791

Today, I was on a second date with a guy. Things got a little handsy and he pulled down his pants to reveal a micro-penis. He then smiled and asked me to be his girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 166

You deserved it 2 901

Today, my husband walked in on me while I was masturbating and watching porn (yes women do it too). Now he thinks I’m unsatisfied with him or our sex life. All I wanted was a quick release. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 900

You deserved it 521

Today, my mom said she ran into some old coworkers and they asked about me. She was surprised they remembered me, as we only met once. The reason they remembered me is because I fell down the stairs at their house when I was 11. That was 15 years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 542

You deserved it 269

Today, I was getting a haircut. I had my foils in for about 10 minutes when the fire alarm went off. The building then started to fill with smoke and we evacuated. While outside watching the fire being put out, I forgot about my foils. I now have bright bleached yellow and orange hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 833

You deserved it 6 109

Today, I'm at North Fort Hood deploying with the Army Reserves, where the motto is, "You'll prefer to be in Iraq." We're in COVID quarantine with over 100 people in our barracks. We may never get out of here. FML

I agree, your life sucks 888

You deserved it 135

Same thing different taste

The Brian Harvey

Move, bitch! Get out the way!

Steady as she goes

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