Miscellaneous: Today, Santa ran over my foot with a Segway. FML

By areyouserial - 05/12/2011 13:21 - United States

Today, Santa ran over my foot with a Segway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 229

You deserved it 3 030

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By moopymoplady - 29/11/2011 00:44 - Canada

Today, I saw Santa. He gave me the finger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 279

You deserved it 5 629

By Anonymous - 08/02/2013 21:20 - United States - Woodbridge

Today, I was taking a stroll in our yard, when my mother decided it would be hilarious to run me down with her Segway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 194

You deserved it 3 689

By evil Santa - 25/12/2014 03:48 - United States - Solon

Today, I was mugged by a guy in a Santa suit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 145

You deserved it 3 215

The Brian Harvey

By Yougotmail - 17/07/2022 06:00

Today, I managed to run over my own foot with my own car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 446

You deserved it 656

Move, bitch! Get out the way!

By FlatFoot - 05/10/2017 07:00 - United States - New York

Today, my dad ran over my foot with his work truck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 944

You deserved it 321

By Anonymous - 18/12/2012 05:15 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I accidentally knocked over a mall Santa on his way to meet some children. I've never had that many hate-filled eyes on me at once. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 872

You deserved it 6 309

By Anonymous - 20/04/2013 01:16 - New Zealand

Today, I was the victim of a drive-by egging by some bastard riding a Segway. He still got away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 011

You deserved it 9 275

By Anonymous - 17/07/2013 17:38 - United States - Monroe

Today, an old lady steamrolled over my foot with her wheelchair, then laughed as she slowly rolled away, leaving my toes in ruins. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 164

You deserved it 3 847

Steady as she goes

By Slippin' - 17/11/2022 17:00 - United States - Steele

Today, I tried to walk on the sidewalk. Actually, it was so slippery that I had to shimmy across it. Then I shimmied too quickly and fell down. Now everything hurts. Maybe next time I should bring a sled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 626

You deserved it 143

By Anonymous - 22/08/2019 17:00 - United Kingdom - Poole

Today, I managed to break my ankle by running it over with the wheelchair I've used on a daily basis for the last 6 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 631

You deserved it 181

Goddess_Rummy 13

Monday 5 December 2011 19:04

Is it because you have been naughty this year?

boofgall 16

Monday 5 December 2011 19:09

A Segway? Times sure have changed.

Comments

Bebbo_fml 21

Tuesday 6 December 2011 3:28

Hm new xmas song in the make? I think so.

HahaBoy 0

Tuesday 6 December 2011 3:51

It's supposed to be the other way around

Honda288 2

Tuesday 6 December 2011 4:41

This is a genuine good FML. Those are getting harder to come by.

rainbowbigbird 7

Tuesday 6 December 2011 4:51

"Hmmm... Strange... These conventions usually have Segway parking."

angryboot 0

Tuesday 6 December 2011 5:01

He Is real!!

SILVERSTAR_6 17

Tuesday 6 December 2011 6:00

Looks like some1 was having fun lol

suckingatlife 9

Tuesday 6 December 2011 9:27

LMAO

hfcknbby 0

Tuesday 6 December 2011 9:32

What's a Segway

lionlvr 9

Wednesday 7 December 2011 18:55

Fail.

ten_go86 5

Tuesday 6 December 2011 9:55

Santa's sleigh got an upgrade! wicked kewl

aFreedom127 9

Tuesday 6 December 2011 10:03

...and did he give you the finger too?

Keywords

Miscellaneous Embarrassing Awkward Sleep Work Love Dating Am I overreacting? Annoying Parents Health Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Fight Public freakouts Drugs Neighbours Cops Medication Relatable Animals Dogs Teenagers Ironic Video games Gamers Zoom

The Top

Today, I found out that when my best friend and I were kids, our parents would cancel playdates when either of us opted to not go to church. They said it would, "strengthen our faith." We are now both adults and staunch atheists for that reason, and we're spending way more time together to make up for this crap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 547

You deserved it 144

Today, my husband filed for divorce. He also put himself “In a relationship” with my daughter on Facebook. She turned 18 a few days ago. He says it’s no big deal because, “at least I waited until she was legal.” The spineless idiot just doesn’t get it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 087

You deserved it 160

The Top

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Just as I was about to orgasm, he pulled away and said that my vagina is like a mask and that he feels like Bane from Batman. He's been talking in a Bane voice to my vagina for 30 minutes now. I guess sex is over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 540

You deserved it 11 824

Today, my boss tried to cancel my leave because he’s “taking a mental health break next week and really needs me in the office.” I’m getting married next week and going on a two-week, non-refundable honeymoon, but he needs a mental health break. I had to get HR involved. Snowflake lazy prick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 618

You deserved it 91

Today, I skipped out on my grandmother's 70th birthday party. I'm autistic, and I have a hearing disorder that significantly enhances my hearing to a painful extent, so I couldn't tolerate how noisy it was. Now, my grandmother thinks I hate her because I put my mental health first. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 255

You deserved it 269

Today, my girlfriend of 8 years and I received our results from a DNA test. We're both very interested in history and ancestry, and wanted to see where in the world we both originated. It turns out we have the same father. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 366

You deserved it 328

Today, my friend told me she'd lost her notebook filled with crucial notes for our finals. She asked if she could borrow mine and copy my notes. She then lost my notebook too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 105

You deserved it 11 930

Today, I learned that if you lay your cellphone on the table at a restaurant, it is not their responsibility if the server pours coffee all over it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 274

You deserved it 347

Same thing different taste

The Brian Harvey

Move, bitch! Get out the way!

Steady as she goes

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