Miscellaneous: Today, thanks to the unholy power of autocorrect, I told my mother-in-law...

By Anonymous - 17/06/2016 23:29 - United Kingdom - Cannock

Today, thanks to the unholy power of autocorrect, I told my mother-in-law that "crispy dick" is on the menu tonight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 680

You deserved it 1 650

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Same thing different taste

Just ignore it!

By nothing like tasty asshole - 26/11/2019 01:00 - United States - Shelbyville

Today, trying to be nice, I sent a text to my mother-in-law saying that I couldn't wait to have her delicious casserole tonight. Only after sending, I realized that "casserole" had auto corrected to "asshole". FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 846

You deserved it 596

Freud smiled

By Anonymous - 08/10/2015 02:14 - United States - Redmond

Today, my mom texted me, asking what I'd like her to get for dinner tonight. I texted back "Something exotic if you're up for it :)". Except I accidentally typed "erotic". I only noticed the typo when I checked after getting no reply. She comes home in a couple of hours. Shit, shit, shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 454

You deserved it 4 094

By kingmetal42 - 09/02/2010 19:10 - France

Today, I texted my girlfriend that I'm going to 'lick my professor's ass' instead of 'kick' due to auto-correction on my phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 981

You deserved it 27 874

By why - 05/04/2011 15:25 - United States

Today, I learned that my parents' nickname for my fiancé is "dickwad." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 740

You deserved it 6 608

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By Tristan - 30/07/2020 02:01

Today, while messaging a possible new hire to set up an interview at my retail job, I meant to say, "Thank you for being flexible" - in regards to scheduling. Instead, it autocorrected to, "Thank you for being delicious." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 289

You deserved it 332

By :/ - 20/02/2011 18:44 - Canada

Today, I had my buddies over for a few beers and, trying to be cool, I told my wife to get out of the living room and back in the kitchen. I felt smug, right up until she said, "Why? Your mom doesn't need to be turned over for another 20 minutes, dick." FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 061

You deserved it 109 694

By ouharguohargssdf - 28/09/2013 21:01 - United States - Fort Wayne

Today, my wife made me go with her to dinner with her parents, despite their long-standing hatred of me. Later on, my mother-in-law muttered to me, "I made yours special for ya", smirked, then made a show of scratching at her butt-crack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 466

You deserved it 2 900

By Anonymous - 10/02/2017 09:00 - United States - Waunakee

Today, at work a lady asked for a burrito, large coke, and hot sauce. While repeating back the order, the words got stuck and I accidentally said large cock. I got written up for being inappropriate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 800

You deserved it 983

By wordmalfunction - 25/05/2009 21:42 - United Kingdom

Today, I was preparing a dinner for some business associates, in hopes of closing the deal on a promotion. I emailed them with the menu, in case there were any allergies. Hours later, I checked the email again to find that instead of serving the Roast Duck I would be serving the Roast Fuck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 122

You deserved it 44 800

By ShitHappens2016 - 16/04/2017 18:00

Today, my mother-in-law texted to wish me a happy birthday. She spelled my name wrong and it's not my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 867

You deserved it 329

hekinokuroihi 20

Saturday 18 June 2016 8:37

Well, now you have to follow through. There is no other course of action.

SilverFoxx 19

Saturday 18 June 2016 8:38

Well, that ducking sucks.

Comments

SteveDudleyUK 10

Saturday 18 June 2016 18:25

I assume pudding is going to be spotted duck?

kkkKshsvanajeb 1

Saturday 18 June 2016 19:24

What was really in the menu

Selene6996 12

Saturday 18 June 2016 19:25

My MIL would get a kick outta that

gotbeer 7

Saturday 18 June 2016 19:43

haha, thanx for the laughs...

jvanevery 19

Saturday 18 June 2016 20:02

will that be duck dick?

pjsr 32

Saturday 18 June 2016 20:24

As long as she didn't respond, "I'll take 3"

samlovesham1234 9

Saturday 18 June 2016 20:27

DAMN YOU AUTO-CORRECT!!!

BadKitty13 28

Saturday 18 June 2016 22:54

LOL. I HATE autocorrect

ezrajab 22

Sunday 19 June 2016 0:17

Not even going to be a smart ass just FYL op

freddygasman 18

Sunday 19 June 2016 6:36

you wasted all that time and space, when with the posh of one button you could have said the same thing.

blackrose1996 11

Sunday 19 June 2016 1:22

LMFAO don't worry sweetie it's happened to the best of us just say what you meant to and laugh it off

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Today, to celebrate moving into a new apartment, my girlfriend decided she would get a kitten. She didn't know I'm allergic to cats. When I told her, she decided that she couldn't date someone who couldn't be around her cat; the one she doesn't have yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 444

You deserved it 3 015

Today, I told my son to get a job and start paying rent. Five minutes later he transferred me rent for the next 5 years. When I demanded to know where he got that kind of money, he showed me his bank statements. He’s made more money mining Bitcoin than I’ve made in 15 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 273

You deserved it 1 363

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Today, I was having fun while home alone, until my dog heard my vibrator and tried to attack me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 949

You deserved it 462

Today, my 53 year-old art teacher told me she's excited about going clubbing this weekend. I'm excited about watching a special on the History Channel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 263

You deserved it 6 685

Today, at work, I took an order from a stuck-up sounding lady over the phone. She said her last name was "duckling, but with an F". Bemused, I wrote her name on the order. When she arrived to pick it up later, she told me she'd said "s", not "f". FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 647

You deserved it 3 185

Today, as I was taking the bus home, I sat down next to a man wearing an FML shirt. While snickering I said to him "You totally deserved it." I guess he thought that comment deserved a broken nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 387

You deserved it 81 691

Today, I found out that using a certain hand sanitizer as masturbation lube will put you in the hospital and result in having to wear an adult diaper for a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 324

You deserved it 76 951

Today, I picked up my daughter from daycare. As we were getting into the car, I strapped her into the car seat, but something felt off. I looked back and realized I had picked up the wrong kid. In my defense, she was wearing the same jacket as my daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 126

You deserved it 570

Same thing different taste

Just ignore it!

Freud smiled

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