Miscellaneous: Today, thanks to the unholy power of autocorrect, I told my mother-in-law...

By Anonymous - 17/06/2016 23:29 - United Kingdom - Cannock

Today, thanks to the unholy power of autocorrect, I told my mother-in-law that "crispy dick" is on the menu tonight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 680

You deserved it 1 650

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Same thing different taste

Just ignore it!

By nothing like tasty asshole - 26/11/2019 01:00 - United States - Shelbyville

Today, trying to be nice, I sent a text to my mother-in-law saying that I couldn't wait to have her delicious casserole tonight. Only after sending, I realized that "casserole" had auto corrected to "asshole". FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 846

You deserved it 596

Freud smiled

By Anonymous - 08/10/2015 02:14 - United States - Redmond

Today, my mom texted me, asking what I'd like her to get for dinner tonight. I texted back "Something exotic if you're up for it :)". Except I accidentally typed "erotic". I only noticed the typo when I checked after getting no reply. She comes home in a couple of hours. Shit, shit, shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 454

You deserved it 4 094

By kingmetal42 - 09/02/2010 19:10 - France

Today, I texted my girlfriend that I'm going to 'lick my professor's ass' instead of 'kick' due to auto-correction on my phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 981

You deserved it 27 874

By why - 05/04/2011 15:25 - United States

Today, I learned that my parents' nickname for my fiancé is "dickwad." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 740

You deserved it 6 608

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By Tristan - 30/07/2020 02:01

Today, while messaging a possible new hire to set up an interview at my retail job, I meant to say, "Thank you for being flexible" - in regards to scheduling. Instead, it autocorrected to, "Thank you for being delicious." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 289

You deserved it 332

By :/ - 20/02/2011 18:44 - Canada

Today, I had my buddies over for a few beers and, trying to be cool, I told my wife to get out of the living room and back in the kitchen. I felt smug, right up until she said, "Why? Your mom doesn't need to be turned over for another 20 minutes, dick." FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 061

You deserved it 109 694

By ouharguohargssdf - 28/09/2013 21:01 - United States - Fort Wayne

Today, my wife made me go with her to dinner with her parents, despite their long-standing hatred of me. Later on, my mother-in-law muttered to me, "I made yours special for ya", smirked, then made a show of scratching at her butt-crack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 466

You deserved it 2 900

By Anonymous - 10/02/2017 09:00 - United States - Waunakee

Today, at work a lady asked for a burrito, large coke, and hot sauce. While repeating back the order, the words got stuck and I accidentally said large cock. I got written up for being inappropriate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 800

You deserved it 983

By wordmalfunction - 25/05/2009 21:42 - United Kingdom

Today, I was preparing a dinner for some business associates, in hopes of closing the deal on a promotion. I emailed them with the menu, in case there were any allergies. Hours later, I checked the email again to find that instead of serving the Roast Duck I would be serving the Roast Fuck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 122

You deserved it 44 800

By ShitHappens2016 - 16/04/2017 18:00

Today, my mother-in-law texted to wish me a happy birthday. She spelled my name wrong and it's not my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 867

You deserved it 329

hekinokuroihi 20

Saturday 18 June 2016 8:37

Well, now you have to follow through. There is no other course of action.

SilverFoxx 19

Saturday 18 June 2016 8:38

Well, that ducking sucks.

Comments

Mudhound123 6

Saturday 18 June 2016 9:57

This is why you should read your text before you send it.

Emzinatorbot 26

Saturday 18 June 2016 10:26

To be fair what was "crispy dick" supposed to be?

Mynamewontfi 40

Saturday 18 June 2016 11:00

Crispy duck, most likely.

moodyreallyrocks 27

Saturday 18 June 2016 10:55

Let's just hope that you didn't suffer from 'alligator arm's' as well!!

Patriots21 14

Saturday 18 June 2016 14:25

Common, too soon...

lumene 17

Saturday 18 June 2016 12:25

is that alongside, or instead of spotted dick?

andy594328 17

Saturday 18 June 2016 12:29

I hear that's a delicacy in some countries.

freddygasman 18

Sunday 19 June 2016 6:27

in some countries it's an appraiser, while in others it would be a main course.

rockeditionbarbi 14

Saturday 18 June 2016 12:57

Sounds.......yummy? Ha. Hopefully she saw the funny side!

edris_305 21

Saturday 18 June 2016 13:14

Well time to deep fry that d*ck

loki0101 2

Saturday 18 June 2016 13:59

Bon appetit. Also, auto-correct is more pain than it is world.

bellydancer82 15

Saturday 18 June 2016 15:26

Does it come with extra special sauce?

laden_swallow09 34

Saturday 18 June 2016 15:56

If your dick is crispy, you'll definitely want to see a doctor. Like, now.

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You deserved it 18

Today, my husband decided to flash me while I was on a video call, so my clients announced they would only work with professionals, and ended the call. I was giving a virtual showing of a £1.2 million house they were thinking of buying. At 6% commission, my husband's junk just cost us £72,000. FML

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Today, I realized that not only am I still an unpublished author, but I can't even get an FML posted after submitting several in the last year. FML

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I agree, your life sucks 39 986

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Today, while trying to help my disabled uncle into his walker, his one testicle popped out of the leg of his short shorts. I asked him to adjust himself and had to hold on to his walker as he did it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 485

You deserved it 234

Today, my siblings and I were going through our old home movies after our mom recently passed away. We accidentally found a VHS sextape of our mom and dad in their 20's. We are now collectively psychologically scarred, and can never unsee what we have seen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 617

You deserved it 366

Today, at 6 a.m. I rolled over in bed causing my smartwatch to vibrate with an alert that it had detected a hard fall. Ten seconds after I dismissed the alert, I heard a voice from my watch with the dreaded words, "911, what's your emergency?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 289

You deserved it 96

Same thing different taste

Just ignore it!

Freud smiled

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