Love: Today, the bartender pulled me aside and told me that she saw... - FML

By holycrap - 03/03/2010 05:37 - United States

Today, the bartender pulled me aside and told me that she saw my date slip something into my drink. Who was my date? My husband of four years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 855

You deserved it 2 796

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Same thing different taste

By jimmy_poison - 09/02/2015 00:19 - New Zealand - Hamilton

Today, my date bumped into her ex-husband, who decided to join us for the rest of the dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 236

You deserved it 2 940

By Anonymous - 09/12/2012 14:53 - United States - Conroe

Today, my boyfriend of 4 years drunkenly introduced me to another very special lady. His wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 352

You deserved it 3 771

By Renée - 25/08/2018 03:30

Today, I found out that my husband lied a few nights ago and was actually drinking with another woman at her house until after midnight. This woman is his best friend’s ex-fiancée, and she's been hitting on my husband for as long as I can remember. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 130

You deserved it 230

By MyLife - 06/02/2013 08:04

Today, my husband decided to start seeing other people. I found out when I called and interrupted his date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 584

You deserved it 2 632

Better safe than sorry, but…

By Anonymous - 25/10/2023 00:00

Today, I got tackled by a bouncer in a club and handed to police for spiking my date's drink. It was an ice cube. I'd asked the barman for some ice cubes, which I put in both my drink and hers, and someone assumed I was slipping her a roofie and reported me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 849

You deserved it 120

By Asdf649 - 19/05/2012 04:17 - Canada - Burlington

Today, at my wedding, my husband's drunk friend admitted that the only reason my husband and I started dating was because he was dared. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 482

You deserved it 2 653

Bad omen

By DefiantBaka - 21/05/2022 08:00 - Canada - Stony Plain

Today, I found out the man I have a date with next week is married. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 048

You deserved it 114

By Chaznuts - 08/09/2009 06:22 - Australia

Today, I went on a blind double date. My date was drunk before I got there. He kept getting my name wrong, and ended up spilling a glass of red wine down the front of my dress. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 542

You deserved it 5 203

Gotcha

By Pissed - 28/10/2024 18:00 - United States

Today, I found out that the "burglar" I caught, punched, and tied up for the cops was actually my wife's secret lover. FML

I agree, your life sucks 725

You deserved it 87

By BUSTED. - 01/12/2015 19:02 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I punched a drunk woman who kept trying to force herself onto my husband. She turned out to be an off-duty cop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 578

You deserved it 3 711

Next

Top comments

menother 2

Wednesday 3 March 2010 12:05

This is when you have a very, very serious conversation. And find out how long he has been slipping you mickies every night.

dirtygurdy 0

Wednesday 3 March 2010 12:10

you should gave switched the drinks if they were the same

Comments

youthink_fml 0

Wednesday 3 March 2010 13:38

And you just believe the bartender without discussing it with your husband of four years? Just great!

BlueTwist89 0

Wednesday 3 March 2010 14:04

LOL @2, win comment.

KappaSLAPPA 0

Wednesday 3 March 2010 14:20

well that's a sign.. give it up once in a while haha

ghostwitch1863 0

Wednesday 3 March 2010 14:22

wow that's really ****** up! I have been out before and been slipped the roofie. you need to say something to him and watch his reaction!

Giorgio272 2

Wednesday 3 March 2010 14:29

damn girl either he tried to slip yo some E to make for the perfect night and for some ultimate sexing. or he trying to ditch yo poor broke ugly ass with some date rape shit so he can play around with the pretty young thang he cheating with. if he ain't got the lovin' you need come cuddle up to Gio baby. I'll make you feel all nice.

Learn2Deal 0

Wednesday 3 March 2010 14:33

Time to reflect on any night u've been sore in any unusual places and next time slip sumthin in his drink, take a ***** and ram it up his ASS brutally without lube! U might wanna start buyin ur own drinks.

Hobo_stickfigure 0

Wednesday 3 March 2010 14:50

lol well he's just desperate. sex addicts will be sex addicts.

darkmis1 17

Wednesday 3 March 2010 14:58

Wow........I think it's time to have a serious talk with your husband.

IDigSmartLadies 0

Wednesday 3 March 2010 15:09

If you're not experiencing blackouts, it's probably not a roofie, GHB, micky, or anything like that. Perhaps it's some sort of aphrodisiac. Is there some reason your husband would be wanting you to be a little more willing to have sex????

SCARYMUSIC 0

Wednesday 3 March 2010 15:16

HAHA did you say no to having sex tonight he probbly thought rape to his own wife might make for fun role playing

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The Top

Today, I was called by my son's school. They said he'd been forging my signature and comments in his reading book. He didn't forge them. I don't know what's worse: my handwriting looking like a 6 year-old's, or being too cowardly to admit it. He has a week of lunch detention, but I still have my dignity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 391

You deserved it 115 808

Today, my jobless husband wants to buy the latest iPhone. His current phone is in good condition, except that he has a 1000 apps on it slowing it down. We're also in deeply crushing debt from all his bad financial decisions from his severely loss-making business. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 170

You deserved it 182

The Top

Today, my mother-in-law told me to "just wait" until she gets home from her trip, because apparently, taking a vacation with her partner is more important than the birth of her first grandchild. Contractions started a few hours ago. Part of me hopes she misses it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 190

You deserved it 218

Today, I went on a blind date, even though the whole concept freaks me out a bit. My date showed up with his sister, who sat at our table and critiqued everything we did, from how I chewed my food, to the way we nervously laughed. He hardly said a word the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 505

You deserved it 75

Today, the bar owner I work for told us to pay better attention to our drunk patrons, and to start cutting them off. A fellow bar maid asked how we are supposed to tell when it's time. He pointed at me and said, "When they start hitting on her, they're too drunk to drive." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 686

You deserved it 2 288

Today, I got a ticket for parking "illegally." I was waiting for my handicapped dad at the airport and had all the required documents to park as I did while waiting for him. The cop didn't care, and now I have to go through bureaucracy hell to get it cancelled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 367

You deserved it 114

Today, I found out my girlfriend of 3 years has been cheating on me. When I explained the situation to the "other guy", he exclaimed that I was lying because I was jealous and trying to ruin his relationship. He punched me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 052

You deserved it 2 976

Today, I found out the hard way that if you leave your sheets on the washing line too long, spiders will go and make their new home in them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 874

You deserved it 2 106