Health: Today, the doctor let me know I have an autoimmune disease. The...

By Anonymous - 27/02/2015 00:20 - Canada - Toronto

Today, the doctor let me know I have an autoimmune disease. The disease results in ulcers in my colon which bleed when I poop. I cried, but only when I was told that I wouldn't be allowed to eat cheese anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 654

You deserved it 3 165

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Same thing different taste

Receipe for disaster

By Yudith - 13/06/2024 14:00 - Canada

Today, I went to the doctor, expecting him to tell me my cancer was gone. Instead, he told me I will need a colostomy, which means all my favorite food will be replaced with yogurt and parsley. No tabbouleh, as onions would make the colostomy bag stink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 510

You deserved it 86

Healthy lifestyle tips

By middleagednurse - 04/10/2017 23:37

Today, I spent 5 hours in the emergency room for what I thought was heavy bloody diarrhea. After having various implements and doctors' fingers shoved up my ass, it turns out I was only shitting out the family-sized bag of red spicy cheese curls I had eaten for lunch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 582

You deserved it 4 119

By Bec99 - 15/02/2019 19:00 - Australia - Bassendean

Today, I found out I have celiac disease. I also happen to be a baker and will be constantly reminded of all the wheat products I can no longer enjoy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 442

You deserved it 138

Downhill

By loveinanelevator - 13/02/2012 12:03

Today, I visited the doctor. I had food poisoning last week, which led to diarrhea. The diarrhea was so bad it caused a hemorrhoid. The hemorrhoid somehow became infected. One bad sandwich, and now I have an infected asshole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 694

You deserved it 2 694

By Anonymous - 22/11/2009 04:12 - United States

Today, I got diagnosed with stomach ulcers. They are very painful, and I have been throwing up blood. On my latest trip to the toilet, I was heaving and the pain was making me beat the floor with my fist, the toilet lid decided to come crashing down on my head, giving me a minor concussion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 794

You deserved it 3 967

By billiams15 - 06/05/2012 21:57 - United States - Katy

Today, I got my colonoscopy results back. I had hoped they'd show what's been causing my stomach pains for the last few weeks, but instead it turns out that my colon is healthy and normal. I basically got cornholed for no goddamn reason. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 426

You deserved it 4 331

Nice.

By poururheartout - 27/07/2018 20:30

Today, I went to the ER as I have an ulcer and I was exhibiting signs of a perforation. This is when the gorgeous doctor told me he had to stick his finger up my butt to check for rectal bleeding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 279

You deserved it 398

Bad sandwich, bad week

By Anonymous - 07/09/2019 12:02 - Korea Republic of

Today, I went to the doctor's. I had food poisoning last week, which led to diarrhea. The diarrhea was so bad it caused a hemorrhoid. The hemorrhoid somehow became infected. One bad sandwich, and now I have an infected asshole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 792

You deserved it 112

Blackstone salivating

By Anonymous - 07/09/2023 14:00 - United States - Staten Island

Today, I learned that the IBS that several doctors have been misdiagnosing me with for 10 years is actually IBD, which is not only infinitely worse, but it's gotten to the point where surgery might be in my immediate future. FML

I agree, your life sucks 649

You deserved it 59

By fulloshit - 28/11/2010 02:17 - United States

Today, I woke up with extreme stomach pains. After being rushed to the hospital and having numerous tests performed, I was told my intestines were over-stretched with stool. I'm essentially so full of shit it hurts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 069

You deserved it 4 597

sarah2144 14

Friday 27 February 2015 10:06

I'd cry too, man. Cheese is better than sex. Sorry for your loss.

Gesula 24

Friday 27 February 2015 10:05

I'm so so sorry

Comments

Matt32179 8

Friday 27 February 2015 11:54

Not to joke or anything but cheese is amazing I can't imagine how you feel...

Violord 13

Friday 27 February 2015 12:04

I think I have the same disease. I feel for you, bro.

Sheepalicious 20

Friday 27 February 2015 12:57

Im so sorry op!!!! Im lactose intolerant and still each cheese. Maybe you can find a loophole?

barakicohen 11

Friday 27 February 2015 13:08

I have Crohn's disease. It's very treatable.

OmarTab18 11

Friday 27 February 2015 13:27

Why does it matter cheese is disgusting I would cry because Rn I would bleed

lilacgold 16

Friday 27 February 2015 13:40

That sucks, and crying is totally understandable. No doubt the news of your illness greatly upset you and being told you can't have cheese sent you over the edge into crying, rather than just crying over not being about to have cheese.

sierrajo09 24

Friday 27 February 2015 13:41

I was diagnosed with UC in 2008..I now have Crohn's due to a fistula. So I completely understand :( there are lactose pills to help you be able to eat dairy better. good luck with everything!