Work: Today, the extremely uncooperative client whom I'm trying to...

By harrington61 - 19/05/2013 21:27 - United States - Midland

Today, the extremely uncooperative client whom I'm trying to defend in court sent me a letter in which he threatened to sue me, because charging him for my services supposedly violates his "constipational rights". FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 305

You deserved it 3 920

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 02/12/2009 21:14 - United States

Today, my lawyer threatened to sue me because I can't afford his bill, which he sent to me after getting me out of a lawsuit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 200

You deserved it 37 046

By A Henderson - 25/04/2012 20:50 - United States

Today, I had to explain to a potential client that I wouldn't represent him, because suing his neighbor for calling him a pansy would get us laughed out of court and likely get me disbarred. His response was to get violent and threaten to sue me for violating his civil rights. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 192

You deserved it 2 254

By Anonymous - 17/03/2016 15:34 - United States - Pomona

Today, in court, my client ran his mouth at the judge, cursing him out and then trying to lecture him on "freedom of speech" when he was found in contempt. I don't know what it is with these nutjobs, but I wish I'd never become a public defender. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 203

You deserved it 2 575

By swee t - 21/09/2016 19:02 - United States - Greensboro

Today, I got a bill from my former attorney for the call he made to me begging me not to turn him in for stealing all my money and almost causing me lose my home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 598

You deserved it 1 056

Pipe down, Pam

By goshoveafuckingfrappuccinoupyourvagyoupsychocunt - 07/09/2013 21:43 - United States - Midlothian

Today, a customer kept harassing me and threatening to sue me for all I'm worth because I wouldn't give her a free refill. Her reasoning was that it's "illegal" to deny people a free refill if there's still a little drink left in the cup. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 210

You deserved it 3 894

Fight!

By Anonymous - 28/03/2021 08:01

Today, I got a call from the county’s courthouse where I used to live saying I was being sued for fraud and expected in court to defend myself. Apparently, my ex took a loan out in my name and now I get to pay $2300 worth of legal fees and restitution to this loan company. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 118

You deserved it 91

Better call Saul

By possibly a sweater - 05/12/2013 22:26 - United States - Wharton

Today, I received a poorly-written letter from my asshole neighbor in which he threatened to "sew" me because my dog shat on his lawn again. I went over, asked if he needed some wool for his sewing, and told him to stop being an idiot. Now he's apparently hiring a lawyer for real. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 567

You deserved it 24 513

By Anonymous - 24/11/2010 19:34 - United States

Today, my boss sent me to a meeting with a client I've never met to do some damage control and renegotiate his contract. For two hours, he alternated between threatening to sue us, and making vulgar comments about raping me in his office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 168

You deserved it 3 185

By thegrandchawhee - 29/08/2015 17:13 - United States - Yakima

Today, I was scheduled to fill in at the customer service counter where I work. Today was also the day that I allegedly accused a customer of being a thief, sold her a fraudulent money order, and will be sued for defamation of character. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 046

You deserved it 1 813

By zl5 - 04/07/2014 23:17 - New Zealand - Masterton

Today, the deranged idiot that I am defending in court went completely nuts and told the judge that I am the guy who planned the whole armed robbery that he is on trial for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 124

You deserved it 4 843

revan546 24

Monday 20 May 2013 0:37

'Murica

Wizardo 33

Monday 20 May 2013 0:38

The only thing constipated here is his bloody brain, drop him and the case.

Comments

DarthVader77 9

Monday 20 May 2013 4:47

Just say in court: I have no objections to prosecutor's findings. Then sit back and enjoy :)

rightspark 7

Monday 20 May 2013 4:47

Are you full of crap or is your client?

Wealthyparrot 9

Monday 20 May 2013 4:51

Offer your services to his opponent for free.

Plasmalaser 11

Monday 20 May 2013 4:54

Don't feed the hand that feeds you... But #YOLO right?

The_Mr_Troll 14

Monday 20 May 2013 4:57

Well, you gotta go when you gotta go!

Katzorie 6

Monday 20 May 2013 4:58

At least it's so ridiculous it'd probably be thrown out of court immediately!

Ray_of_midnight 22

Monday 20 May 2013 5:09

Is your client named "Mrs. Malaprop"?

LyraAlluse 25

Monday 20 May 2013 5:16

I knew there was a reason I never wanted to become a lawyer. This post pretty much sums everything up.

patrickalamo 47

Monday 20 May 2013 5:27

Win some Loose some Charge all of them.

DevilsMetsGiants 30

Monday 20 May 2013 6:16

That's a loaf of shit

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The Top

Today, my girlfriend was on top in reverse cowgirl. After she orgasmed, all I heard was, "Oh fuck" and she clenched her butt to try stop, but it was too late, she shot diarrhoea up my stomach, chest and neck. The only reason I didn’t get any in my mouth was because it all got caught in my beard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 050

You deserved it 409

Today, while I was mid-act with my girlfriend, my mom unlocked my bedroom door and came in shaking maracas. She then handed them to my very shocked girlfriend and told her these were the "Busted maracas" and directed her to pass them along accordingly. Well, at least our first time was memorable… FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 441

You deserved it 365

The Top

Today, my mother called me at work, freaking out about my dog, so I panicked. What was wrong? He had a hard-on and she'd never seen that happen before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 784

You deserved it 300

Today, I met my biological mother for the first time. I also found out from her husband that she has her nipples and nether regions pierced. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 022

You deserved it 3 797

Today, I was camping with my family, and had to share a tent with my 13 year old brother. During the night he had to pee, but instead of going outside to use the bathroom, he zipped open a section of the tent, stuck his knob through it, and peed all over my shoes that were drying outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 364

You deserved it 3 068

Today, my boyfriend thought it'd be a good idea to break up with me in his car. I had to walk home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 412

You deserved it 2 687

Today, I had an all day volleyball tournament in a town an hour away. My dad left early, not realizing he was my ride home. I'm now stranded in the middle of a rural town with no way home anytime soon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 322

You deserved it 4 040

Today, I went to get a nice, relaxing hot stone massage. Instead I got second degree burns on my legs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 714

You deserved it 4 023

Same thing different taste

Pipe down, Pam

Fight!

Better call Saul

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