Work: Today, the extremely uncooperative client whom I'm trying to...

By harrington61 - 19/05/2013 21:27 - United States - Midland

Today, the extremely uncooperative client whom I'm trying to defend in court sent me a letter in which he threatened to sue me, because charging him for my services supposedly violates his "constipational rights". FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 303

You deserved it 3 920

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 02/12/2009 21:14 - United States

Today, my lawyer threatened to sue me because I can't afford his bill, which he sent to me after getting me out of a lawsuit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 200

You deserved it 37 044

By A Henderson - 25/04/2012 20:50 - United States

Today, I had to explain to a potential client that I wouldn't represent him, because suing his neighbor for calling him a pansy would get us laughed out of court and likely get me disbarred. His response was to get violent and threaten to sue me for violating his civil rights. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 189

You deserved it 2 254

By Anonymous - 17/03/2016 15:34 - United States - Pomona

Today, in court, my client ran his mouth at the judge, cursing him out and then trying to lecture him on "freedom of speech" when he was found in contempt. I don't know what it is with these nutjobs, but I wish I'd never become a public defender. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 200

You deserved it 2 574

By swee t - 21/09/2016 19:02 - United States - Greensboro

Today, I got a bill from my former attorney for the call he made to me begging me not to turn him in for stealing all my money and almost causing me lose my home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 596

You deserved it 1 056

Pipe down, Pam

By goshoveafuckingfrappuccinoupyourvagyoupsychocunt - 07/09/2013 21:43 - United States - Midlothian

Today, a customer kept harassing me and threatening to sue me for all I'm worth because I wouldn't give her a free refill. Her reasoning was that it's "illegal" to deny people a free refill if there's still a little drink left in the cup. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 203

You deserved it 3 892

Fight!

By Anonymous - 28/03/2021 08:01

Today, I got a call from the county’s courthouse where I used to live saying I was being sued for fraud and expected in court to defend myself. Apparently, my ex took a loan out in my name and now I get to pay $2300 worth of legal fees and restitution to this loan company. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 117

You deserved it 91

Better call Saul

By possibly a sweater - 05/12/2013 22:26 - United States - Wharton

Today, I received a poorly-written letter from my asshole neighbor in which he threatened to "sew" me because my dog shat on his lawn again. I went over, asked if he needed some wool for his sewing, and told him to stop being an idiot. Now he's apparently hiring a lawyer for real. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 564

You deserved it 24 507

By Anonymous - 24/11/2010 19:34 - United States

Today, my boss sent me to a meeting with a client I've never met to do some damage control and renegotiate his contract. For two hours, he alternated between threatening to sue us, and making vulgar comments about raping me in his office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 164

You deserved it 3 185

By thegrandchawhee - 29/08/2015 17:13 - United States - Yakima

Today, I was scheduled to fill in at the customer service counter where I work. Today was also the day that I allegedly accused a customer of being a thief, sold her a fraudulent money order, and will be sued for defamation of character. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 045

You deserved it 1 813

By zl5 - 04/07/2014 23:17 - New Zealand - Masterton

Today, the deranged idiot that I am defending in court went completely nuts and told the judge that I am the guy who planned the whole armed robbery that he is on trial for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 120

You deserved it 4 843

revan546 24

Monday 20 May 2013 0:37

'Murica

Wizardo 33

Monday 20 May 2013 0:38

The only thing constipated here is his bloody brain, drop him and the case.

Comments

DarthVader77 9

Monday 20 May 2013 4:47

Just say in court: I have no objections to prosecutor's findings. Then sit back and enjoy :)

rightspark 7

Monday 20 May 2013 4:47

Are you full of crap or is your client?

Wealthyparrot 9

Monday 20 May 2013 4:51

Offer your services to his opponent for free.

Plasmalaser 11

Monday 20 May 2013 4:54

Don't feed the hand that feeds you... But #YOLO right?

The_Mr_Troll 14

Monday 20 May 2013 4:57

Well, you gotta go when you gotta go!

Katzorie 6

Monday 20 May 2013 4:58

At least it's so ridiculous it'd probably be thrown out of court immediately!

Ray_of_midnight 22

Monday 20 May 2013 5:09

Is your client named "Mrs. Malaprop"?

LyraAlluse 25

Monday 20 May 2013 5:16

I knew there was a reason I never wanted to become a lawyer. This post pretty much sums everything up.

patrickalamo 47

Monday 20 May 2013 5:27

Win some Loose some Charge all of them.

DevilsMetsGiants 30

Monday 20 May 2013 6:16

That's a loaf of shit

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I went on a date with a co-worker I've been interested in for some time. The topic of discussion she chose over lunch: how she's living a double-life as an escort in Flint and that she thinks she's picked up an STD from unprotected sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 475

You deserved it 4 033

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try the ice cubes in the vagina thing we'd read about. He kept sticking one in after another and they got stuck. My vagina had a brain freeze for a half an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 741

You deserved it 3 880

The Top

Today, I finally convinced my girlfriend to allow the cats to sleep with us on the bed. As we started to cuddle, one of the cats pissed right in between us. We are sleeping on the couch until the baking soda absorbs the smell in the mattress. I'll be sleeping there longer than that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 073

You deserved it 29 957

Today, after spending a lot of money on photo shoots to build up my portfolio, I finally got an offer from a modelling agency. I ran outside to tell my parents, only for my brother to hurl an iced snowball straight into my face. I now have a huge gash over my cheek and nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 048

You deserved it 4 422

Today, I put on a pair of sneakers that I'd left outside, and went jogging. After several minutes of pain, I pulled off one of the sneakers, only to find dozens of baby spiders had moved in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 488

You deserved it 11 760

Today, my crush and I were talking about hypothetical situations. I told her, "I love you hypothetically." She said, "I love me too." I even got rejected hypothetically. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 224

You deserved it 687

Today, when I arrived at the airport for my international flight there was no record of my ticket in the system. Turns out the flight was yesterday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 347

You deserved it 33 373

Today, my older, pill-addicted brother, came over to visit with me. After he left, I realized all my Vicodin was gone. I got my wisdom teeth removed two hours ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 079

You deserved it 240

Same thing different taste

Pipe down, Pam

Fight!

Better call Saul

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