Intimacy: Today, the girl I have been dating for the past five years asked... - FML

By axsmith01 - 21/08/2009 06:48 - United States

Spicy

Today, the girl I have been dating for the past five years asked me to move to California with her to get married. Naturally, I was thrilled and said, "Of course, when do you want to leave?". She just stared at me blankly and said, "Shit, I was kidding." FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 699

You deserved it 5 758

axsmith01 tells us more.

axsmith01 0

Friday 21 August 2009 21:34

Today, it turns out I am the only bi-sexual woman in the world who doesn't know same-sex marriages in California are no longer legal. Double FML

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Top comments

Gesq1 0

Friday 21 August 2009 16:11

A lesbian FML on a friday morning. It's gonna be a good day.

xHaniffax 0

Friday 21 August 2009 16:05

Why would someone "kid" about that? That sucks. she's immature.

Comments

Acceptance612 0

Sunday 23 August 2009 8:57

I've asked my boyfriend the same thing she asked you... He wont move here to California.

ronbog 0

Monday 24 August 2009 5:46

Either learn to read or get informed, prop 8 passed months ago overturning the decision to legalize same sex marriage in california. As such, moving to california will get you no where if you intend to marry your partner of the same sex. unfortunate as it is, you'd have to find a different state even if you managed to get him to agree. the more you know

gu355_wh0 0

Monday 24 August 2009 9:53

creepy lesbians. keep your problems to yourself

PeacockSHS 0

Wednesday 26 August 2009 0:53

********.

MuffinMan18 0

Wednesday 26 August 2009 2:00

why would she even have asked that? stupid girls...

WUTFFS 0

Saturday 12 September 2009 10:32

My dad told me the same story.

mykehawke 0

Wednesday 30 September 2009 23:01

omg if I was you, you should have reacted how a normal guy would. Freak out?!!

Subcontinent 14

Friday 8 January 2016 7:54

OP is a girl just so as you know

prettyboiDom4 0

Wednesday 7 July 2010 22:18

Lesbian relationships do work out. I'm about to be 6 months into my relationship.

emodude44 0

Wednesday 26 January 2011 9:54

One day...

purplestar16 0

Tuesday 8 February 2011 20:30

TRY BEING STRAIGHT

chanta24 10

Thursday 2 June 2011 5:58

you suck

Holy_ish 19

Thursday 11 August 2011 19:14

shows how serious the relationship is to her

2
3
4
5
6

Keywords

Poopoo peepee Love Embarrassing Miscellaneous Romantic Christmas Break-ups Annoying Money Gross Ironic Argument Awkward Friends Cute Haircut Lonely Holidays Relatable Work Bosses Capitalism Cars You're fired Covid Health Jealousy Cheating Kids Parenting

The Top

Today, I annoyed my friend by texting him "Meow" over and over at random times of the day because when he's drunk he meows in his sleep. Apparently a great way to get back at me was to tell my parents I wasn't a virgin, and that I got high on Wednesday. He had pictures to prove it for both. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 634

You deserved it 68 713

Today, after having had a sore throat all day, I finally decided to have a throat lozenge on the bus. It was nice and soothing, until the bus sharply turned a corner and I started coughing and choking on it violently like a cat with a furball. My throat now feels like Satan pissed nails down it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 390

You deserved it 88

The Top

Today, my girlfriend will only speak to me using Lady Gaga lyrics. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 657

You deserved it 5 706

Today, I left for a one and a half month trip to Japan with my boyfriend. He promptly broke up with me the first night in the hotel. When asked why he couldn't have waited until the trip was over, he said he didn't want to create "false memories". FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 917

You deserved it 3 455

Today, at work, I told a lady checking out to sign her name after sliding her credit card. After she started signing her name, she threw the pen down in frustration saying that the pen was out of ink. We use electronic pin pads. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 839

You deserved it 2 790

Today, after about a month with no sex, my girlfriend told me to come up to her room and began kissing me passionately. She got me down to my underwear before informing me that she had Spanish homework left. To make things better, upon finishing up, she went straight to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 721

You deserved it 5 903

Today, my cousin died of a very treatable illness. She was pressured into herbal and holistic "faith healing" instead of seeking "poisonous western filth". Her husband, church and family all seem to think she made the right choice. I’ve been shunned for disagreeing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 478

You deserved it 100

Today, I found out that my colleagues had replaced my email auto-responder with a message saying, "I'm away for two weeks in Brazil. Due to the surgery, when I return, please address me by my new name: Crystal." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 708

You deserved it 3 192