Love: Today, the guy I've been dating told me with a wink that before...

By Anonymous - 22/03/2014 22:01 - Canada - Toronto

Today, the guy I've been dating told me with a wink that before he'll go on any more dates, he'd require me to take a series of "oral exams" to prove I'm right for him. I think he actually expected that to work. NEXT. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 575

You deserved it 6 174

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By peteto818 - 18/12/2014 17:59 - Bulgaria - Pernik

Today, my boyfriend jokingly said that if I didn't pass my exam, he wouldn't have sex with me for a month. I failed it, and now he thinks I did it on purpose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 970

You deserved it 5 404

By black and yellow - 21/01/2013 06:32 - United States - Salinas

Today, I went to see my new dentist. He was really cute, so after the checkup I started flirting. He stopped me right after I asked him out, saying, "Being a dentist has its advantages, I can see the girl's mouth before I stick my tongue in it. And in your case, it's a big no." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 798

You deserved it 45 737

By Shawty - 03/11/2009 03:41 - United States

Today, I went on a date, and within the first five minutes, he said, "Before we go any further and get anymore serious, you need to know a few things, I have kissed a guy drunk because it was a dare, and have a $400 silk rose Victoria's Secret blanket." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 333

You deserved it 5 842

Awkwaaaaard

By notwhatithought - 21/08/2015 19:43 - Germany - Erlangen

Today, the professor I've had a crush on informed me that there's only one way left I could still pass his course. Thinking this was an attempt to flirt with me, I told him I'd do anything he could imagine. He then looked confused when he asked me to write an essay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 249

You deserved it 33 699

He's a keeper

By mariana - 08/02/2014 00:18 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I decided to ask the guy I like if he'll be my Valentine. I wrote the question on a piece of paper and passed it to him, trying to be cute. He read it, wrote his answer with a smile, and passed it back. It said, "Depends, do you swallow?" No, no I don't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 696

You deserved it 10 343

By Anonymous - 22/11/2012 09:39 - United States

Today, I decided to go meet up with a guy that I met online for the first time. All he could talk about was how he expects me to "clean, cook, and submit" my body for sex at least twice a day when we get married. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 660

You deserved it 6 189

By ahhhboys - 27/11/2010 19:12 - Romania

Today, my boyfriend of six months said he wanted to take our relationship one step further. I thought he was going to ask me to move in. He meant he wanted to fart in front of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 549

You deserved it 6 257

By Brittany - 18/06/2012 14:57 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were kissing. Halfway through the kiss, he rubs his tongue along all my teeth and says, "You need to brush your teeth." FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 910

You deserved it 38 047

By _schaden_freude - 27/12/2015 17:31 - United Kingdom - Ashford

Today, my boyfriend's dad came onto me. I was shocked and awkwardly tried to exit the situation. My boyfriend then sprang out and started shouting at me. Apparently, it was a "test" to see if I would still be attracted to him in 30 years. I failed. What. The. Fuck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 418

You deserved it 1 838

Never again

By Catsfordays - 20/08/2015 06:02 - United States - Yucaipa

Today, I went on a date with someone I considered a real catch, my potential soulmate even. He ended up telling me about his fetish for "female smells", sang loudly in Italian in a crowded restaurant, and ate most of the food on my plate. Man, fuck dating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 942

You deserved it 2 633

martialart1st18 19

Sunday 23 March 2014 1:27

That's lame he need to learn how to talk to women

Welshite 39

Sunday 23 March 2014 1:28

Guy: "I'm a gigantic dirtbag." OP: "True." Some oral exams aren't that difficult after all.

Comments

Ben009 13

Sunday 23 March 2014 1:36

Real smooth talker eh!

fsomelife 26

Sunday 23 March 2014 1:37

Oh Daaaanny Bo-oooy

amzing_a16 10

Sunday 23 March 2014 1:52

Way to cheer OP up!

fsomelife 26

Sunday 23 March 2014 2:52

Futurama is an excellent way to cheer people up.

olpally 32

Sunday 23 March 2014 1:38

How about a facial exam for him where you punch him in the face for being a douche.

DemosthenesMB 13

Sunday 23 March 2014 1:46

He must live in the middle of the ocean, 'cause he's thirsty as f***.

zoegirl_455 30

Sunday 23 March 2014 1:52

Sounds like a really classy guy

Luigi2012SM64DS 6

Sunday 23 March 2014 1:54

You should punch him in the oral cavity.

breeaannuuhh 14

Sunday 23 March 2014 1:57

Tell him you may not pass the oral exam, but you'll do fine in the physical when you beat his ass. Sorry you had to waste time with a person like him, OP.