Animals: Today, the man sitting next to me on the train tried to sneak... - FML

By now have a cat - 24/04/2014 20:52 - United States - Glenview

Today, the man sitting next to me on the train tried to sneak a dead cat into my bag while I was sleeping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 814

You deserved it 3 975

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Same thing different taste

Suspicious

By BilletsDoudous - 15/01/2015 06:51 - France

Today, I was working as a ticket inspector on a train. A suspiciously-acting thirty something guy got on board with two huge bags. Worried, I kept an eye on him. I wasn't disappointed when he got 5 furry toys out of his bags and started to have a conversation with them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 458

You deserved it 3 405

By Anonymous - 29/12/2010 07:03 - United States

Today, on the train, I was bitten by a homeless man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 722

You deserved it 4 349

By xmelissadavisx - 28/11/2015 12:21

Today, the man sitting next to me on the train looked like he was about to be sick. I quickly handed him the nearest bag I could find, a bag full of my lunch for that day. Safe to say he held nothing back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 568

You deserved it 3 552

By Anonyme - 24/04/2014 06:57 - France - Aix-en-provence

Today, on a train, I nearly choked while sleeping with my mouth wide open. The little old lady sitting opposite me was entertaining herself by throwing little pieces of balled-up tin foil into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 981

You deserved it 7 765

By marlow - 15/01/2009 02:25 - Canada

Today, the guy sitting beside me on the bus fell asleep and just drooled on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 866

You deserved it 2 717

By SkinsCastSelection - 17/01/2011 16:46 - France

Today, I was quietly reading in the subway, when all of a sudden, at a station, the man sitting next to me stood up, slapped me, yelled "Bitch!", and rushed off the train. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 621

You deserved it 3 699

By Michelle - 20/02/2011 17:45 - United States

Today, my cat tried to kill me. While I was sleeping, he put his paws on either side of my face and laid down, covering my nose and mouth. While I was struggling to free myself, I could hear my sister laughing next to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 108

You deserved it 4 973

By Anonymous - 20/08/2013 08:38 - United Kingdom - Colchester

Today, on the train, I was sitting next to a homeless man. As we left the train he shook my hand and was seemingly on his way. That was until he caught me greeting my boyfriend, to which he decided to tell the romantic story of how he murdered a man for "getting too close to his woman." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 884

You deserved it 3 144

By SexyPlayer9 - 24/07/2009 05:23 - United States

Today, I was on a flight and one of my friends was sitting next to this woman who happened to be sleeping with her mouth wide open. My friend decided to take a picture. While I was editing it, a man sitting behind us said "If you want to take a picture of my girlfriend, wait until she's awake". FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 508

You deserved it 66 293

By sleeper - 02/03/2010 05:05 - France

Today, I was on the train when I fell asleep. Everything would have been fine but I was suddenly jerked awake by the very loud sound of my own fart, followed by the stares of many strangers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 312

You deserved it 6 070

Next

Top comments

DrownedMyFish 18

Friday 25 April 2014 6:43

How did he get on the train with a dead cat?

darlingdollie 24

Friday 25 April 2014 6:44

So what did you do? And I feel bad for the poor cat This needs a follow up

Comments

DEATHSNIGHTMARE 16

Friday 25 April 2014 8:01

Well Played.

cakefete2 30

Friday 25 April 2014 8:12

Damn 16, you just littered the thread with cat puns.

worldclassrager 39

Friday 25 April 2014 8:14

Better than a live one? Did is district get destroyed? Give (dead) buttercup a new home?

sarneeley 14

Friday 25 April 2014 8:59

Note to self. Avoid all trains. Seems fml is flooded with people with train problems.

cathrope 10

Friday 25 April 2014 13:34

I was thinking the same thing. Trains are evil.

imshadyxo 25

Friday 25 April 2014 9:00

That's so disturbing ..and extremely awkward to be caught doing if he didn't succeed. The way you worded the FML and your name leave it ambiguous if he succeeded in giving you the dead cat or not..

Witchylady 17

Friday 25 April 2014 9:34

WTF? Poor kitty

babyblueyes 27

Friday 25 April 2014 10:51

So much "wtf" in that FML lol

lovpeper 8

Friday 25 April 2014 10:56

Schrödinger's cat lost the fight...

Attacksloth 33

Friday 25 April 2014 20:08

I came here for this comment... I am not disappoint.

YumnaZaeem 10

Friday 25 April 2014 11:17

What the actual ****?

Drake_The_Dragon 23

Friday 25 April 2014 13:23

Um ok...

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The Top

Today, I had a friend over. We found my older brother's camera so decided to look through his photos but then we came across photos of him and his girlfriend having sex. We were laughing up until my friend decided to point out that they were having sex on my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 849

You deserved it 7 486

Today, my cousin asked me what it's like to be so fat. I chastised him and said that was a rude thing to ask. He apologized, then asked me what it's like to be such a pussy. He didn't stop until he, a 10 year-old kid, had reduced me, a 26 year-old woman, to tears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 697

You deserved it 8 588

The Top

Today, I rear-ended a car on the parkway. We pulled over, the guy told me his car was fine, and then asked me out on a date. It was only when I said no that he decided he wanted his car fixed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 936

You deserved it 18 843

Today, I lost power. That didn't stop my house alarm from running on battery, loudly informing me in a British accent, "AC power disconnected. BEEP. AC power disconnected. BEEP." It's been going on for 5 hours and the battery takes a special screwdriver to remove. One we don't have. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 301

You deserved it 4 363

Today, my son turned 8. We watched as he unwrapped a $55 Nerf gun, extra 'bullets', new shoes and a school bag with his favorite TV character on the front and a action figure inside. As he finished he looked me straight in the eyes and says, "That's great ma, but seriously what'd you get me?". FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 774

You deserved it 12 084

Today, I found out my boyfriend's mother thinks I'm a loser and a scumbag. We haven't even met yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 319

You deserved it 3 495

Today, I found out that my wife is leaving me for a tattoo artist. I was in rehab and she met him getting a tattoo as a surprise for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 087

You deserved it 357

Today, I slept with my deputy manager. He slept with my insane jealous housemate months ago. I need to find a new job and a new flat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 761

You deserved it 21 240