Love: Today, the waiter farted while I was on a date. My date thought... - FML

By tmac05 - 13/11/2010 05:13 - United States

Today, the waiter farted while I was on a date. My date thought it was me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 842

You deserved it 3 014

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Same thing different taste

By thecarisfine - 14/03/2015 04:27 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, while on a date, I desperately let out a stealth fart in my date's car. I didn't have the nerve to own up to it, even as he started panicking and thinking the smell was coming from his engine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 899

You deserved it 8 359

By Whyme - 09/01/2012 06:14 - United States

Today, I went to the movies on a date. My chair made a fart sound while I moved around a little, so my date thought I'd let one rip. He then let out a really horrendously smelling one to make me feel less embarrassed, giving me a reassuring look. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 289

You deserved it 6 510

Denial

By Lady Bloodshart of the Redwater - 15/07/2016 20:27 - United States - Arlington

Today, while at a restaurant, my date shat himself. He spent the entire meal pretending nothing had happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 697

You deserved it 1 021

By fart - 27/11/2014 15:13 - United States - Houghton Lake

Today, I farted while asking a girl out to dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 121

You deserved it 7 283

The Sweet Smell of Success

By let ‘Er rip - 13/10/2019 16:00

Today, I was out on my first date in months. My stomach didn’t feel quite right after dinner, but I tried to ignore it. During the movie, it got so bad I decided to try to sneak a small fart for relief. As soon as I did, the theater fell dead silent. My fart practically echoed in the silence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 707

You deserved it 598

Great date, thanks!

By Anonymous - 28/03/2009 18:50 - United States

Today, I was on a first date with a girl at the movies. Trying to be polite, I held in a fart until an intense, loud action scene came on. As soon as I let go, the scene went silent and my fart was clearly heard to everyone in the movie theatre. My date went to the bathroom. She didn't come back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 981

You deserved it 83 987

By oops - 18/05/2009 04:17 - United States

Today, while I was waitressing, I bent down to pick up a menu and accidentally farted, really loud, at my table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 501

You deserved it 10 829

By Anonymous - 03/09/2015 01:33 - United States - Hayward

Today, the priest at my wedding farted. Everyone thought it was me. The guests, my bride, even the priest himself looked at me in disgust before continuing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 767

You deserved it 1 752

Time to flee the crime scene

By Anonymous - 22/10/2022 10:00

Today, my date from the night before let me stay behind when he had left for work. While relaxing, I figured I'd be fine to let a little fart out. Unbeknownst to me, not eating enough food over the past few days turned the contents of my bowels to liquid. I sharted on their bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 373

You deserved it 871

By Anonymous - 01/03/2018 19:30 - United States - Greenville

Today, while wearing a sexy pair of undies for my partner and taking him out on a nice dinner, I trusted a fart walking from the car to the restaurant and shit myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 048

You deserved it 1 749

Next

Top comments

sallen0046 4

Saturday 13 November 2010 16:19

So what? People fart. If your date was that bothered by a natural body function, you need to find someone more grown up to go out with.

DrDoofenshmirtz 0

Saturday 13 November 2010 15:18

Waiter: ... *farts* Boyfriend: WHY DID YOU DO THAT, (Girlfriend's name) Girlfriend: IT WASN'T ME IT WAS THE DAMN WAITER! Boyfriend: DON'T BLAME THE WAITER! That's it, this date is over. *leaves* Waiter: ... sucker.

Comments

DrDoofenshmirtz 0

Saturday 13 November 2010 15:18

Waiter: ... *farts* Boyfriend: WHY DID YOU DO THAT, (Girlfriend's name) Girlfriend: IT WASN'T ME IT WAS THE DAMN WAITER! Boyfriend: DON'T BLAME THE WAITER! That's it, this date is over. *leaves* Waiter: ... sucker.

ipwnlosers 4

Saturday 13 November 2010 18:36

OMG PERRY the platypus!! <3

RedPillSucks 31

Sunday 14 November 2010 0:09

That's perrys "after" picture. His "before" picture is what the dog is grabbing in #22's profile picture.

sammyderose123 0

Saturday 13 November 2010 15:19

lamo #21 that's hilarious. OP, trust me, its not a big deal even if you did the farting. If one fart is enough for him not to call for date #2, then he wasn't worth it. I would have laughed through the embarassment. Sorry, I don't see the FML. F Your Date maybe

jose1760 1

Saturday 13 November 2010 15:52

Was it wet?

sallen0046 4

Saturday 13 November 2010 16:19

So what? People fart. If your date was that bothered by a natural body function, you need to find someone more grown up to go out with.

xkittykatx 0

Saturday 13 November 2010 16:33

this made me giggle xD

kristineszLIFE 0

Saturday 13 November 2010 17:11

Probably was you

cdatribe23 0

Saturday 13 November 2010 17:36

no need to be ashamed!! we all kno it was u....u little devil u lol

Jewelofagal 2

Saturday 13 November 2010 18:28

According to the book "Waiter Rant", that's an evil technique used by waiters when one party at a table is being a jerk.

skyeyez9 24

Saturday 13 November 2010 18:50

I hope you didn't tip the waiter.

Judus_beej 0

Saturday 13 November 2010 18:51

lol that's what you get for not tipping last time.

Keywords

Family Miscellaneous DIY Cats Awkward Management Poopoo peepee Work Am I overreacting? Capitalism Relatable Coworkers Frustration Dogs Animals ADHD Transportation Dating Love Health Anxiety Technology Mental health Sleep Noise Roommate Clumsy Confused AITA Parents

The Top

Today, I set up my phone to take a time-lapse video of the sunset. When I checked the footage later, all I saw was me running back and forth because I’d forgotten my keys and wallet multiple times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 142

You deserved it 417

Today, my family has been unsuccessfully trying to stop my sister's energy drink addiction. She's not even 30, but the doctors say her heart health (or lack thereof) is roughly equivalent to a person over twice her age. She probably won't even live to 40 at this rate, which makes us sad. Why won't she listen to us? FML

I agree, your life sucks 433

You deserved it 75

The Top

Today, as my boyfriend was unbuttoning my pants to go down on me, he looked at me and said in his best robot voice, "Caution, contents may be stinky." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 982

You deserved it 22 234

Today, I superglued my headphones back together. They weren't dry before I put them back in my ears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 959

You deserved it 53 576

Today, I had an all day volleyball tournament in a town an hour away. My dad left early, not realizing he was my ride home. I'm now stranded in the middle of a rural town with no way home anytime soon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 322

You deserved it 4 040

Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. She responded by sitting on the floor, crying like a baby and screaming "WHY?" at strangers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 315

You deserved it 12 326

Today, I sneezed so hard I fell down the stairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 287

You deserved it 7 776

Today, I discovered why there was such a horrible stench in my bedroom. My cat had a secret stash of shit under my dresser. Along with the carcass of a rat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 857

You deserved it 306