Love: Today, the waiter farted while I was on a date. My date thought... - FML

By tmac05 - 13/11/2010 05:13 - United States

Today, the waiter farted while I was on a date. My date thought it was me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 841

You deserved it 3 013

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By thecarisfine - 14/03/2015 04:27 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, while on a date, I desperately let out a stealth fart in my date's car. I didn't have the nerve to own up to it, even as he started panicking and thinking the smell was coming from his engine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 899

You deserved it 8 358

By Whyme - 09/01/2012 06:14 - United States

Today, I went to the movies on a date. My chair made a fart sound while I moved around a little, so my date thought I'd let one rip. He then let out a really horrendously smelling one to make me feel less embarrassed, giving me a reassuring look. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 288

You deserved it 6 510

Denial

By Lady Bloodshart of the Redwater - 15/07/2016 20:27 - United States - Arlington

Today, while at a restaurant, my date shat himself. He spent the entire meal pretending nothing had happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 695

You deserved it 1 020

By fart - 27/11/2014 15:13 - United States - Houghton Lake

Today, I farted while asking a girl out to dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 120

You deserved it 7 283

The Sweet Smell of Success

By let ‘Er rip - 13/10/2019 16:00

Today, I was out on my first date in months. My stomach didn’t feel quite right after dinner, but I tried to ignore it. During the movie, it got so bad I decided to try to sneak a small fart for relief. As soon as I did, the theater fell dead silent. My fart practically echoed in the silence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 705

You deserved it 598

Great date, thanks!

By Anonymous - 28/03/2009 18:50 - United States

Today, I was on a first date with a girl at the movies. Trying to be polite, I held in a fart until an intense, loud action scene came on. As soon as I let go, the scene went silent and my fart was clearly heard to everyone in the movie theatre. My date went to the bathroom. She didn't come back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 979

You deserved it 83 986

By oops - 18/05/2009 04:17 - United States

Today, while I was waitressing, I bent down to pick up a menu and accidentally farted, really loud, at my table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 501

You deserved it 10 829

By Anonymous - 03/09/2015 01:33 - United States - Hayward

Today, the priest at my wedding farted. Everyone thought it was me. The guests, my bride, even the priest himself looked at me in disgust before continuing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 767

You deserved it 1 751

Time to flee the crime scene

By Anonymous - 22/10/2022 10:00

Today, my date from the night before let me stay behind when he had left for work. While relaxing, I figured I'd be fine to let a little fart out. Unbeknownst to me, not eating enough food over the past few days turned the contents of my bowels to liquid. I sharted on their bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 371

You deserved it 870

By Anonymous - 01/03/2018 19:30 - United States - Greenville

Today, while wearing a sexy pair of undies for my partner and taking him out on a nice dinner, I trusted a fart walking from the car to the restaurant and shit myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 046

You deserved it 1 749

Next

Top comments

sallen0046 4

Saturday 13 November 2010 16:19

So what? People fart. If your date was that bothered by a natural body function, you need to find someone more grown up to go out with.

DrDoofenshmirtz 0

Saturday 13 November 2010 15:18

Waiter: ... *farts* Boyfriend: WHY DID YOU DO THAT, (Girlfriend's name) Girlfriend: IT WASN'T ME IT WAS THE DAMN WAITER! Boyfriend: DON'T BLAME THE WAITER! That's it, this date is over. *leaves* Waiter: ... sucker.

Comments

Rizzyk83 0

Saturday 13 November 2010 19:03

it was probably me ;)

demarcusT 0

Sunday 14 November 2010 2:52

op is a guy because as we all know...

xcrystal011 2

Sunday 14 November 2010 6:28

ahahaha too funny!!!! xD

waco_kid 0

Thursday 18 November 2010 3:58

I seriously laughed so hard that I started choking.

jsnakes12 0

Friday 19 November 2010 1:34

You say it was the waiter but was it really.

christharp 0

Monday 28 March 2011 11:57

that blows... lol

Penguin1942 0

Tuesday 8 May 2012 21:00

Sureeeee it was he waiter.......

MissyPastaCreeps 16

Sunday 22 February 2015 6:06

Plot twist :it was your date

Keywords

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The Top

Today my boyfriend of one year dumped me. When I started crying, he said, “Want to know something that will make you hate me so you won’t be so sad?” and then told me he’s been cheating on me with multiple women, the entire time we’ve been dating. He thought that would comfort me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 606

You deserved it 207

Today, my husband loves his cat more than our new baby daughter. This morning, he spent two hours playing with the cat, yet when I handed him his flesh and blood daughter, he found an excuse to hand her back after five minutes, then five minutes after that he was playing with the cat again. FML

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The Top

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You deserved it 13 574

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I agree, your life sucks 9 129

You deserved it 73 402

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I agree, your life sucks 39 453

You deserved it 9 947

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I agree, your life sucks 22 712

You deserved it 3 735

Today, I had to go with my mom to the gynecologist to translate due to her broken English. As we were filling out papers and answering questions, the doctor asked some very personal questions. I now know everything about my mom's sex life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 160

You deserved it 6 800

Today, I got a speeding ticket. I couldn't find my insurance card, and the cop was very nice. He said not to worry about it, that I "looked like someone who had insurance." I'm not sure how to take that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 550

You deserved it 7 404