Love: Today, to avoid looking like a loser in front of his friends...

By Flip - 02/05/2012 05:06 - France

Today, to avoid looking like a loser in front of his friends who all have girlfriends, my brother made up a perfect relationship. He asked me to give him a hickey in exchange for 50 euros. Our parents walked in on us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 815

You deserved it 58 530

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

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Same thing different taste

By SisterOfTard - 10/11/2014 16:31 - United States - Florence

Today, my brother offered me $20 to practice his kissing on me for his date later this evening. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 433

You deserved it 4 703

Dominion

By baby.momma2 - 26/11/2020 19:58

Today, I told my boyfriend I was unsure of the future of our relationship, so he gave me a gigantic hickey to "show the world that I'm his." I work as a cashier and see people I know personally on a daily basis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 851

You deserved it 312

Classy.

By klifestyle2012 - 12/11/2017 19:00

Today, I came home to find my brother making out with my girlfriend while taking a selfie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 141

You deserved it 337

Suave

By Anonymous - 30/05/2009 14:36 - United States

Today, my brother had his hot friend over. I decided to make a move because he was staring at me and smiling all night, so I asked him which holiday was his favorite, Christmas or Easter while I batted my eyes and smiled. That's when he said, "You have lettuce in your teeth." FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 878

You deserved it 47 854

By IloveJapan - 02/04/2012 14:02 - Japan

Today, my boyfriend gave me a hickey. On my forehead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 448

You deserved it 10 162

By doesn't fuck on the first, thank god - 23/03/2014 20:25 - United Kingdom - Southend-on-sea

Today, my brother tried to pay me to teach him how to French-kiss, so he wouldn't screw up on his first date. I'm shocked that the weirdo managed to get a date in the first place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 540

You deserved it 4 562

By tkrause - 01/04/2013 17:17 - Canada - Nelson

Today, my boyfriend came over with a hickey on his neck. He thinks "The vacuum did it" is a believable excuse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 453

You deserved it 4 168

By Anonymous - 09/12/2013 05:57 - United States - Spokane

Today, I discovered that my stepbrother has been telling his friends that I'm his girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 529

You deserved it 3 370

This Charming Man

By PLU - 27/01/2011 00:57 - Canada

Today, I met my boyfriend's brother. When he saw me, he whispered into my boyfriend's ear, "So, this is your bitch eh? Nice!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 963

You deserved it 5 717

By Kelly - 02/08/2012 08:11 - United States - Manteca

Today, my brother offered my boyfriend $50 to dump me. Guess who's single. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 170

You deserved it 3 189

Cairo_Sanchez 8

Wednesday 2 May 2012 11:44

That's just TOO desperate...

theunwiseone 4

Wednesday 2 May 2012 11:44

DA *****???? O.o

Comments

comeatmebroo6254 1

Thursday 3 May 2012 3:22

I'm glad I found out you are a girl. I read this thinking you were a boy giving your brother a hickey... O.o

ThermiteKitten 8

Thursday 3 May 2012 6:48

Wait, -that's- the part you had a problem with?!

comeatmebroo6254 1

Thursday 3 May 2012 3:35

Phew. When I first read this I thought you were a guy. Still though, I think you could have made a fake one without actually biting his neck ?

RampantDoritoz 3

Thursday 3 May 2012 3:50

INCEST!!!!!!!!!!!

jfarrow9703 11

Thursday 3 May 2012 4:11

At least it wasn't for sex..... Sick *******!

Roo79 1

Thursday 3 May 2012 4:12

How old are you both and where the hell was the hicky? Just pinch him really hard! Done!

jesss_09x 0

Thursday 3 May 2012 4:34

Oh my god that is the most humiliating thing lol so awkward...

mccutie936 6

Thursday 3 May 2012 4:39

You are gross. Tell him to put a vacuum cleaner to his neck or something. Ew.

mosquito19 14

Thursday 3 May 2012 4:54

dude, thats ****** up. take the money but don't actually do it. he's not gonna tell you ripped him off. duh....

aznman1213 1

Thursday 3 May 2012 5:01

Europeans and incest....*tisk tisk* just couldn't resist?

babe7260 30

Thursday 3 May 2012 5:12

Eww Ewww Ewww , but totally made me laugh!!!!!

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The Top

Today, I was about to leave for my honeymoon with my new husband, when he saw my deodorant in my bag. He picked it up and asked what it was. When I said it was deodorant, he gave me a confused look and said, "Girls don't wear deodorant." He actually believed that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 352

You deserved it 3 008

Today, I am five days postpartum and my sister came over to see me. After she refused to help me with dishes or do the laundry or grab dinner, I angrily asked why she even came. She replied, "Uh… to meet the baby? You're not entitled to my help, you know." FML

I agree, your life sucks 356

You deserved it 602

The Top

Today, I was on my way to meet the girl I like at the beach. I parked my truck and walked to the restaurant where I was supposed to meet her. She wasn't there so I called her and she told me she cancelled because it started raining. There wasn't a cloud in the sky. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 708

You deserved it 3 078

Today, I got dumped after about a four year relationship. Feeling lonely and depressed, I posted on facebook, "is hurt, someone please text or call me." Then one of my cousins commented, "no one text him." His comment got 17 "likes." No one got in contact with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 438

You deserved it 9 741

Today, I was at the Salvation Army when I saw a wheelchair in the miscellaneous aisle. I thought it would be fun to ride around in it. As I was wheeling it back to where I found it, I made it back just as it's owner was hobbling out of the dressing room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 433

You deserved it 53 631

Today, I caught my fiancé picking his nose and eating it. I don’t want to break up over this but I just cannot for the life of me get that image out of my head. Every time he tries to kiss me, I visibly gag and turn my head away. He says I’m being unreasonable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 714

You deserved it 225

Today, a bunch of guys at work chased me down a corridor with a Febreze spray for smelling like I'd been "sleeping in a hollowed-out horse's carcass" and having "the personal hygiene of a billy goat." FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 978

You deserved it 56 809

Today, I woke up with a scream of pain to find the reason I've had so many realistic dreams lately: my boyfriend has been messing with me in my sleep because he thinks my reactions are funny. For instance, when he pinched me today, I experienced a very realistic wasp sting in my dream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 453

You deserved it 129