Sex and Intimacy: Today, trying to be kinky while giving my boyfriend a blow job,...

By kinkicali - 20/11/2012 08:43 - United States - Maple Valley

Today, trying to be kinky while giving my boyfriend a blow job, I whipped him with my ponytail. He was thrilled, until I accidentally head-butted his dick. He curled up into a ball and wouldn't let me touch him again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 500

You deserved it 36 516

Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By pleasedie - 07/05/2015 18:00 - United States - Fort Lauderdale

Today, I took a shower with my boyfriend. I tried to be adventurous and went to give him a blowjob, only to end up slipping and head-butting him in the balls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 042

You deserved it 6 804

Sexy

By Chels - 24/05/2019 04:00

Today, I was giving my boyfriend oral, and he got so into it that he grabbed my hair. Just as he was about to climax, he pulled my hair so hard that my extensions came out. I jerked back and hit my head on the wall behind me. He then came in my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 354

You deserved it 577

By Anonymous - 16/03/2012 20:23 - Ireland

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated, and he started to go down on me. In excitement, I accidentally drove a knee into his face. No amount of fondling his diddlestick made him forgive me for his bloody nose and swollen eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 775

You deserved it 13 695

Kinky

By LaLa - 09/01/2012 05:01 - United States

Today, I was with my boyfriend, and we started to get a little kinky. He laid me down roughly on the bed, but I started to slide off, so I pulled myself up. In doing so, I managed to knee him in the nut-sack, causing him to puke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 787

You deserved it 7 879

By Anonymous - 07/11/2010 22:00 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, when I lifted myself up a little bit. What I was not prepared for was my boyfriend leaning down to kiss my neck. We collided heads, hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 963

You deserved it 6 539

By coop42 - 15/01/2014 19:22 - United States - Hortonville

Today, my boyfriend was playing with my hair, when his hand got caught. He ended up ripping out a handful of hair trying to get it free. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 114

You deserved it 6 078

By Anonymous - 25/11/2017 06:00

Today, I was getting one of the best blow jobs I have ever received. My girlfriend was getting into it when I heard an "uh oh". Her tongue ring got twisted around the hair close to my balls. She started to pull, I started to scream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 020

You deserved it 1 795

Come again

By Anonymous - 09/07/2009 07:35

Today, I gave my boyfriend a spontaneous blowjob while we were watching TV. After he finished, I tried to pull a sexy move I'd seen in a porno by zipping his pants back up with my teeth. His foreskin got caught in the zipper and we spent the next few hours in the emergency room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 995

You deserved it 62 531

By neckcrack - 07/09/2010 10:18 - Australia

Today, I was giving my boyfriend head. I got a little too enthusiastic during it, and wound up cracking my neck loudly, and had to stop while the pain settled down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 218

You deserved it 24 094

By Anonymous - 01/03/2011 17:32 - United States

Today, while getting it on with my boyfriend, I decided to be spontaneous and do something sexy. I started taking his underwear off with my teeth. My teeth dragged over his shaft, and my braces cut up his foreskin in the process. Now he's not talking to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 765

You deserved it 62 044

Scands_59 14

Tuesday 20 November 2012 16:02

Double meaning to giving head!

jweezy89 4

Tuesday 20 November 2012 16:01

Well I wouldn't take it personally, that kinda pain can make the toughest man cry.

Comments

briweiss52611 0

Sunday 9 December 2012 0:00

Lol I'm sorry but this made me laugh c:

RngRamen85 4

Tuesday 18 December 2012 5:44

wow you just cant make this kind of stuff XD

xbaconator9000x 16

Friday 17 July 2015 21:24

Dick? or Balls? Because these are very different things!

danny_doom27 6

Saturday 1 August 2015 2:48

ponytail whipping is "kinky"?...lol

cats54321 19

Tuesday 13 October 2015 19:52

This is weirdest and grossest fml I've ever read

TheGreatCompo 11

Tuesday 20 October 2015 12:49

Look, I don't blame the man here...

Shadow9876 19

Friday 29 April 2016 4:16

Kinda seems like a wimp. I wouldn't have stopped you.

Baka Loli 10

Sunday 3 April 2022 0:16

"I whipped him with my ponytail" Nothing about that screams hot. In any any.

Keywords

Clothes Miscellaneous Relatable Shoes Insurance Transportation Cars Health Work Love Cheating Embarrassing Clumsy Food Awkward Animals Dating First Dates Bikes Dogs Cute Ironic Pranks Shopping Texting Mistakes Family Fight Birthday Drunk

The Top

Today, I summoned up the courage to tell my crush how I've felt about her for the past two years. I really poured out my heart and soul, and she nodded and smiled throughout. Once I'd finished, she told me that she believes "sex is unnatural", and that she could never date a guy who wanted it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 301

You deserved it 4 542

Today, after spending two days pampering my sick fiancee and her sick son, they were finally feeling better. I woke up feeling rotten and said I needed to rest. She said, "Okay, but I want to deep clean today. Let's go! Out of bed! Up up!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 512

You deserved it 86

The Top

Today, my dad gathers so much static electricity from almost everything that he does that I've become paranoid and scared to touch him at all. He thinks I hate him now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 637

You deserved it 161

Today, my sister used my mobile phone to call her boyfriend, who is married with children. His wife found my number on his phone and thought that I'm my sister. Since then, she has been calling me non-stop, calling me a "prostitute" each time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 191

You deserved it 5 450

Today, my boyfriend was on the roof of his house. I climbed the ladder but I'm kind of scared of heights, so when I got up there I just sat on the edge. The gutter broke, fell down, and I fell along with it. My boyfriend then said, "I've been trying to tell you to go on a diet". FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 115

You deserved it 9 486

Today, I got into a major fight with my parents over my younger brother stealing from me. Their response was to get angry at me for my "tone" with them. My brother is 18 with an obvious drug problem, but my tone is the problem. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 280

You deserved it 274

Today, my grandmother is coming over to my family's house to stay for about a week or so. Apparently, the guest room window isn't big enough for her dream catcher, so she wants her cat to sleep in the guest room and she wants to sleep in my room. My parents support this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 510

You deserved it 3 867

Today, I got scolded for how I treated my aunt and uncle's dogs while pet sitting. I was told it was my fault they had explosive diarrhea for "locking" them in the room they'd told me to put them in at night and doing everything they said when I reported they were sick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 072

You deserved it 228

Same thing different taste

Sexy

Kinky

Come again

Top comments

Comments