Love, Intimacy and Sex: Today, two of my girlfriends and I went to a bar. The only action...

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By ailat0107 - 31/05/2009 16:46 - United States

Today, two of my girlfriends and I went to a bar. The only action any of us got was a 50 year-old man who came up and handed us, "An origami vagina for the pretty ladies." FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 208

You deserved it 5 666

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 23/06/2012 14:59 - Ireland - Cork

Today, as a romantic gesture, my boyfriend gifted me an origami vagina. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 692

You deserved it 4 717

Missed the signs?

By Anonymous - 02/07/2022 04:00

Today, my husband and I visited a new bar in our city. It turned out to be a swingers sex club. He asked if we could stay and try it out, even though we were easily the oldest people there by about 30 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 844

You deserved it 178

Alpha male behavior

By Hotdamnthisismyjam - 16/06/2009 00:32 - Canada

Today, I went to the bar with some friends. When we walked in, we picked a table at random in the same area as a bunch of older men. The oldest, fattest, ugliest man at the table looked me over then stared at my chest. He then started to motorboat the air in the direction of my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 268

You deserved it 6 640

By Anonymous - 01/12/2012 00:31 - United States - Rocklin

Today, I was out clubbing, when I saw a pair of very cute girls sitting at the bar, so I went over, hoping to introduce myself. I swung my leg over the stool, and through no fault of my own, sat on my own balls. I quickly got thrown out for "harassing the ladies." FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 192

You deserved it 21 658

By number2 - 14/06/2009 04:05 - United States

Today, my friends and I were walking past a bar. There were a few cute guys "rating" every girl that walked by with number cards. My friend, who is a guy, got an 8. I got a 2. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 072

You deserved it 4 519

By awkward23 - 12/01/2010 10:26 - United States

Today, at a bar, a woman approched me and tried to set me up with her friend. Looking around, the only people in the bar were a man reading the paper and a very ugly woman, looking at me and smiling. I worriedly replied, "I'm sorry, but I'm gay." Turns out her friend was the one reading the paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 989

You deserved it 42 533

By Anonymous - 04/02/2013 01:20 - United States

Today, I was given a wedgie by a complete stranger in a crowded bar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 546

You deserved it 3 267

By hateskool888581 - 12/01/2010 00:28 - Mexico

Today, I went to a nearby nightclub with some friends and the girl I've been flirting for weeks. We were having a good time until this girl and two of her friends got back complaining about some "drunk-old-perverts harassing them". It looks like my dad and his friends are having a good time too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 925

You deserved it 2 348

Fair Warning

By TheNoseKnows - 16/02/2017 14:00 - United States - Bronx

Today, while sitting in a bar, I offered to buy the drunk chick sitting next to me a drink. She was a lot more inebriated than I thought, because she looked at me with bloodshot eyes and cheerfully responded, "There's a rotten smell in my vagina!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 887

You deserved it 2 597

By Anon - 28/01/2019 06:00 - United States - West Jefferson

Today, my girlfriend and I went on a date. I went to the bathroom. When I came back, she was sitting at a different table flirting with a guy that looked twice as old as her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 574

You deserved it 244

teehee520 0

Sunday 31 May 2009 22:47

Lmao, an origami vajayjay?! That's pretty awesome.

narwhalz 0

Sunday 31 May 2009 22:52

Just imagine what he can do with those hands!

Comments

blargenboo 0

Monday 1 June 2009 16:54

does anyone think of flight of the conchords? 'The only boobs I see, are oragami'

Ladybug_Mafia 0

Monday 1 June 2009 17:14

Did it look real? Serioiusly though...that sucks in a funny, funny way.

ailat0107 0

Monday 1 June 2009 20:05

#73, you got it exactly right. thank you :)

lifeisgoodsorta 0

Monday 1 June 2009 22:28

for some reason this is making me really sad like to the stage of tears

codelewi 0

Tuesday 2 June 2009 5:38

79 is a bitch and 77 is a genius

boston62 0

Tuesday 2 June 2009 7:20

Thats delicious

alexacronym 0

Tuesday 2 June 2009 8:21

Lol pretty original

CandyLolita 0

Tuesday 2 June 2009 9:56

You deserve it for going out to have sex with a stranger.

Guyoverhere 0

Tuesday 2 June 2009 17:38

Wish I could make a origami vajayjay :)

dmmd8686 0

Tuesday 2 June 2009 20:09

I guess the guys at the bar didn't feel like going hoggin' that night.

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Today, my recent ex-girlfriend’s best friend was telling me why my girlfriend cheated on me because my ex wouldn’t give me a straight answer. She said, “He’s just really hot and is good in bed” and that in fact they both are hooking up with this guy. I feel so much better I guess. FML

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You deserved it 140

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You deserved it 38 372

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 9 200

You deserved it 30 998

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I agree, your life sucks 39 541

You deserved it 3 548

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I agree, your life sucks 29 258

You deserved it 14 870

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I agree, your life sucks 1 519

You deserved it 336

Today, I was playing Drawful with my parents and a few friends. We were having a great time, until one of us got a drawing prompt about God. The game doesn't let you use capital letters. As a result, my uber-religious mom went on a massive tirade about not being able to capitalize "God," completely ruining the game. FML

I agree, your life sucks 517

You deserved it 121

Today, I was at the bar with a date. My date made a joke about me being a slow drinker, so I tried to impress her by chugging the rest of my glass. She was impressed with how fast I chugged my beer, until it came back up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 912

You deserved it 41 917

Same thing different taste

Missed the signs?

Alpha male behavior

Fair Warning

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