Miscellaneous: Today, we were at the end of our surfing trip watching a photo...

By Brastro - 07/04/2009 11:46 - Ireland

Today, we were at the end of our surfing trip watching a photo montage. A picture popped up of an ugly girl surfing so I shouted out "I didn't know Shrek could surf". The room went very quiet. "Shrek" was sitting beside me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 989

You deserved it 179 152

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 07/03/2015 19:05 - United States - Brandon

Today, my brother was doing an extremely annoying Shrek impression, so I turned the TV on in a desperate attempt to drown him out. You'll never guess what movie was on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 730

You deserved it 4 658

Forever alone

By forever alone - 27/03/2022 16:00

Today, I realized I’m so lonely that I actually got jealous while watching Shrek. FML

I agree, your life sucks 723

You deserved it 188

By Anonymous - 14/01/2010 21:56 - United States

Today, my teacher compared the female reproductive system to Shrek's head. Never again will I be able to watch the movies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 354

You deserved it 3 822

By Anonymous - 05/06/2009 13:20 - United States

Today, I went to watch the Movie "UP." At one point in the movie I got really sad and started to cry a bit. The 7 year old girl next to me noticed and told me to shut and man up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 759

You deserved it 21 125

By storyofmylife - 10/06/2015 02:44 - Canada - Truro

Today, my boyfriend and I were hanging out when he suddenly said, "Do you know who I think is the most beautiful girl in the world?" I prepared myself for a cute compliment, until he showed me a picture of another girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 899

You deserved it 2 787

By riiiighhhttttt - 05/08/2013 05:38 - United States - Laurel

Today, I actually had to explain to my sister that Shrek was not in fact based on a true story. She replied that I'm a "clueless twat". FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 704

You deserved it 4 351

By stelno - 18/06/2009 13:33 - United States

Today, my wife and I were out with another couple we're friends with. When we went back to their house we looked at old pictures. They showed us a great picture, and I said "It would've been a lot better if that fat chick didn't ruin it in the background." It was the woman from the couple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 674

You deserved it 64 658

By TheFlash - 22/06/2009 01:15 - United States

Today, I was down at Disney World. Me and my buddy decided to take our pictures in a photobooth. While in the tiny space, I thought it'd be funny to flash the camera. A women barged in as soon as I did so, screaming "You know there's an outside video feed, right!?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 387

You deserved it 65 580

Shark Week

By sharkboy - 11/06/2012 02:33 - United States - Honolulu

Today, while at the beach, as a joke, I told my girlfriend that I was a shark. She then poked my eyes and punched me in the nose. When I started to get mad, she just shrugged and asked, "What? You're the one that wanted to be a shark. Don't you watch Shark Week?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 911

You deserved it 31 280

Uncanny valley

By Anonn - 22/07/2022 12:00

Today, after yet another first date, I was once again told I'm a nice, sweet guy with a rocking body, interesting hobbies, easy to talk to and so on, but she just can't get over how I look like Shrek after a bad car accident, and won't be going on a second date. This is the fourth woman to compare me to Shrek. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 231

You deserved it 125

knowitall 1

Tuesday 7 April 2009 20:09

I hope you feel terrible. You sound like a positively awful person.

Trix_Disorder 20

Tuesday 7 April 2009 20:11

Even if she wasn't in the room, who the **** says stuff like that? YDI.

Comments

RAndEM 9

Monday 5 January 2015 19:13

I hope shrek could kick your ass too.

clairesucks 37

Thursday 15 January 2015 7:06

Why would you say that anyway. That's a horrible thing to say even if they are ugly. YDI OP

fantasyworld 37

Monday 9 March 2015 16:45

Asshole.

nuuuttella 4

Sunday 12 April 2015 4:25

that's mean. put yourself in her shoes, she was most likely embarrassed, angry and upset all at once. you definitely deserved that one.

mariokartds 3

Wednesday 22 July 2015 1:16

Best if you make your way out of her swamp now before it's ogre.

cutiepop8456 8

Sunday 2 August 2015 22:11

why would you call her ugly again? now u fukeddddddd uppppp

NineeCat 32

Monday 3 August 2015 6:53

Asshole.

PunkPrincess_fml 11

Monday 21 September 2015 18:32

You are a bully!

arun_678 10

Thursday 24 December 2015 13:19

Bruh u fell right into that

becca1998 22

Thursday 31 December 2015 6:31

I think you shouldn't be such a dick

Keywords

Animals Cats Poopoo peepee Gross Smells Love Awkward Embarrassing Miscellaneous Health Painful First Dates Christmas Work Social Media Music Grieving Anniversary Boredom Abuse Ironic Intimacy Drunk AITA Transportation Am I overreacting? Alcohol Parents Gun control Kids

The Top

Today, I was on my bed on top of my boyfriend when I lost my balance and fell. My father walked in the door to see what the noise was. I don't know what is more embarrassing, my father walking in, or him walking in and saying, "That's an expensive bed." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 653

You deserved it 10 594

Today, I was eating lunch naked at my home watching porn on the big screen. I heard the garage door opening meaning my roommate was coming home. In my haste to get dressed, I fell back in the barstool I was sitting in and knocked myself out. I woke up still naked and with lettuce all over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 257

You deserved it 79 301

The Top

Today my roommate was taking forever in the shower. I had to pee like crazy. I danced around waiting and waiting. I couldn’t hold it anymore so I snuck out to the backyard to pop a squat. The relief hit me at the same time the realization that our landlord has security camera in the back yard...FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 304

You deserved it 724

Today, I found out that when my boss said she was considering bumping me up to full time, she actually meant she was planning on letting me go. Everyone in the office except me knew. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 802

You deserved it 1 356

Today, I was in a rush and didn't notice that the bathroom stall I chose at work had a broken lock. Halfway through my business, a coworker barged in. We locked eyes for an awkward eternity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 440

You deserved it 81

Today, there was a massive thunderstorm in my area. My first instinct - as well as my parents' - was to go to my sickly grandma's house and make sure she was okay, as she lives alone. As we prepared to step outside, we all remembered a rather crucial detail: My grandma is dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 489

You deserved it 171

Today, this guy I've been "seeing" for a year said he didn't want to share my birthday with me because he doesn't want us to get serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 620

You deserved it 3 933

Today, I found out my cat had died overnight at the vet's. She died alone in the dark, in a cage. Meanwhile, Donald Trump, an old, narcissistic, overweight sack of shit, survived COVID with millions of tax payer dollars in healthcare. I'd rather my cat had been the one to live; at least she made life nicer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 576

You deserved it 1 039

Same thing different taste

Forever alone

Shark Week

Uncanny valley

Top comments

Comments