Miscellaneous: Today, when I am asked to do something and I don't do it immediately,... - FML

By FMLPLZ - 03/01/2014 02:52 - United States - Milwaukee

Today, when I am asked to do something and I don't do it immediately, my mother threatens to "twerk" in front of my friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 762

You deserved it 9 203

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Same thing different taste

Sips unsee juice

By Facepalm2020 - 21/06/2020 23:01

Today, my mom asked me what twerking was. When I said that it was a club dance, trying to get out of telling her what it actually was, she begged me to teach her how to do it. My mom complained to my dad, who grounded me for not teaching her to twerk her ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 581

You deserved it 348

By ThatOneGirl646 - 12/01/2012 00:49 - United States

Today, my mother threatened me if I keep wearing yoga pants to school, she's going to have my dad pick me up in a speedo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 888

You deserved it 49 528

Life and soul of the party

By Anonymous - 01/01/2016 10:08 - United States - San Antonio

Today, during a party, my drunk mother stumbled over to take a picture of me and my brother. She told me to put a party blower in my mouth for the picture, but I politely declined. She threatened to spank me in front of everyone if I didn't do it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 632

You deserved it 2 289

Not so Karate Kid

By Matthew - 09/03/2020 19:00 - United States - Juneau

Today, my mom told me to do karate with her, and so I said no. Now my mom won't let me do anything until I go do karate with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 346

You deserved it 346

By Jess - 30/05/2011 15:46 - United States

Today, my mom publicly pole danced. In a playground. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 082

You deserved it 5 036

By Numbnuts - 08/03/2010 03:08 - United States

Today, I was really bored and decided to annoy my mom while she was doing the dishes. I walked up behind her, touched her shoulder, and said "Poke". She then donkey kicks me straight in the nuts saying "Kick". I know now to never bug my mom when she's in a bad mood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 350

You deserved it 38 552

By -_- - 05/07/2013 21:59 - United States - Munith

Today, at a family dinner, my mother-in-law talked me into showing off some moves that I've learned in martial arts. I gently did a restraining hold on her. She screamed that I was trying to break her wrists, and kept the wounded act up all night, smirking as everyone gave me death glares. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 583

You deserved it 5 226

Overreaching

By Entitled parents suck. - 12/10/2022 10:00

Today, my mother threatened to disown me if I didn't break up with my tattooed girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 911

You deserved it 144

By FatalxDesire599 - 05/03/2010 15:39 - United States

Today, my mother stormed into my room shouting about how I never go anywhere and then tells me to go out "NOW" and do something. As she is pushing me out the door, her boyfriend walks in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 684

You deserved it 2 834

By Ashy104 - 09/01/2010 05:36 - United States

Today, I asked my mom if she thought I looked skinny in my shorts. She jiggled my leg fat, looked up at me and walked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 787

You deserved it 26 356

Next

Top comments

jdeezy01 13

Friday 3 January 2014 17:09

Mama gotz moves!

MysticMonkey 9

Friday 3 January 2014 17:17

I really wish this twerking craze would die out. It's ridiculous.

Comments

Silly_Lilly6969 23

Friday 3 January 2014 19:33

It's alright my mom does the same thing

justin0216 9

Friday 3 January 2014 19:34

My mom already twerks in front of my friends...

PainOfDemise 11

Friday 3 January 2014 19:37

That's when you take out your phone and record it and then put it on YouTube and see if she does anything else stupid again.

Butchergirl22 4

Friday 3 January 2014 19:42

Excellent parent threat!

ClumsySilly 2

Friday 3 January 2014 20:21

How long has she had to wait to resort to this?

NinaAD 10

Friday 3 January 2014 20:28

Sorry op. Maybe you should start listening to your mother.

stargirl_95 24

Saturday 4 January 2014 16:51

I'm pretty sure that the fact that OP's mother has had to resort to public humiliation to get her to do things is pretty solid evidence that OP doesn't listen to her.

chosha_fml 26

Friday 3 January 2014 21:09

Tell her to go for it, and when she does yell out, 'woohoo, mom! Way to look like a prostitute in front of minors.' The secret to threats of embarrassment is to not be embarrassed.

loserman67 35

Friday 3 January 2014 21:13

Call her bluff, but be careful. If your mom is overweight (no disrespect) she'll only make a fool out of herself, but if your mom is a MILF - you might come home one day to one or more of your friends banging your mom.

awilliams44 9

Friday 3 January 2014 21:18

my mum does it anyway haha

joselgarciac 9

Friday 3 January 2014 21:49

Got to admit, she is good at blackmail...

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Awkward Miscellaneous Embarrassing Work Sleep Dating Love Am I overreacting? Annoying Parents Health Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts Fight Cops Drugs Neighbours Medication Relatable Teenagers Dogs Animals Gamers Ironic Video games Job interview

The Top

Today, my brother's girlfriend came over to visit and we got to talking about books. Thinking she'd be interested, I suggested a few. She responded that she "only reads good literature." The only books I've ever seen her read are Fifty Shades of Gray and the Twilight saga. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 068

You deserved it 125

Today, at work, I'm supervising one person. Recently there's been tension between her and a couple of other coworkers, one of which was her friend. I spent the day running around and trying to smooth things over, just to find out what started this was her walking in on her former friend talking about her behind her back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 293

You deserved it 95

The Top

Today, my skinny co-worker complained that sitting just underneath the AC vent was making her too cold. My boss had us switch places, because "your mass keeps you warm anyway". FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 757

You deserved it 5 002

Today, after a lifetime of yoga, pilates, and general fitness to stay thin and healthy, five years of chronic pain and weight gaining treatments have rapidly made it so my 68 year-old mother, who never exercised and eats like crap, has a better looking body then me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 915

You deserved it 214

Today, I learned that the one face cleaner that actually works for me is no longer being made. I just ran out of the last of my supply last night, and I woke up to find my face completely covered in zits. FML

I agree, your life sucks 910

You deserved it 120

Today, after three years with my dream girl, I decided to pop the question by making her complete a scavenger hunt ending in her finding me, suit and everything, by the park bench where we had our first kiss. She came home tired and, instead of following the clues, decided to watch TV all day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 543

You deserved it 5 325

Today, I was woken up by the sound of my dad blasting porn on his computer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 836

You deserved it 1 334

Today, trying to be sexy I was sucking on my boyfriends fingers. I was really starting to turn him on, when I noticed something crunchy in my mouth. Turns out, he went digging for treasure up his nose earlier. I found the treasure in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 007

You deserved it 14 736