Miscellaneous: Today, when I am asked to do something and I don't do it immediately,... - FML

By FMLPLZ - 03/01/2014 02:52 - United States - Milwaukee

Today, when I am asked to do something and I don't do it immediately, my mother threatens to "twerk" in front of my friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 762

You deserved it 9 203

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Same thing different taste

Sips unsee juice

By Facepalm2020 - 21/06/2020 23:01

Today, my mom asked me what twerking was. When I said that it was a club dance, trying to get out of telling her what it actually was, she begged me to teach her how to do it. My mom complained to my dad, who grounded me for not teaching her to twerk her ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 581

You deserved it 348

By ThatOneGirl646 - 12/01/2012 00:49 - United States

Today, my mother threatened me if I keep wearing yoga pants to school, she's going to have my dad pick me up in a speedo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 888

You deserved it 49 528

Life and soul of the party

By Anonymous - 01/01/2016 10:08 - United States - San Antonio

Today, during a party, my drunk mother stumbled over to take a picture of me and my brother. She told me to put a party blower in my mouth for the picture, but I politely declined. She threatened to spank me in front of everyone if I didn't do it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 632

You deserved it 2 289

Not so Karate Kid

By Matthew - 09/03/2020 19:00 - United States - Juneau

Today, my mom told me to do karate with her, and so I said no. Now my mom won't let me do anything until I go do karate with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 346

You deserved it 346

By Jess - 30/05/2011 15:46 - United States

Today, my mom publicly pole danced. In a playground. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 082

You deserved it 5 036

By Numbnuts - 08/03/2010 03:08 - United States

Today, I was really bored and decided to annoy my mom while she was doing the dishes. I walked up behind her, touched her shoulder, and said "Poke". She then donkey kicks me straight in the nuts saying "Kick". I know now to never bug my mom when she's in a bad mood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 348

You deserved it 38 548

By -_- - 05/07/2013 21:59 - United States - Munith

Today, at a family dinner, my mother-in-law talked me into showing off some moves that I've learned in martial arts. I gently did a restraining hold on her. She screamed that I was trying to break her wrists, and kept the wounded act up all night, smirking as everyone gave me death glares. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 583

You deserved it 5 226

Overreaching

By Entitled parents suck. - 12/10/2022 10:00

Today, my mother threatened to disown me if I didn't break up with my tattooed girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 910

You deserved it 144

By FatalxDesire599 - 05/03/2010 15:39 - United States

Today, my mother stormed into my room shouting about how I never go anywhere and then tells me to go out "NOW" and do something. As she is pushing me out the door, her boyfriend walks in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 683

You deserved it 2 834

By Ashy104 - 09/01/2010 05:36 - United States

Today, I asked my mom if she thought I looked skinny in my shorts. She jiggled my leg fat, looked up at me and walked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 787

You deserved it 26 356

Next

Top comments

jdeezy01 13

Friday 3 January 2014 17:09

Mama gotz moves!

MysticMonkey 9

Friday 3 January 2014 17:17

I really wish this twerking craze would die out. It's ridiculous.

Comments

Silly_Lilly6969 23

Friday 3 January 2014 19:33

It's alright my mom does the same thing

justin0216 9

Friday 3 January 2014 19:34

My mom already twerks in front of my friends...

PainOfDemise 11

Friday 3 January 2014 19:37

That's when you take out your phone and record it and then put it on YouTube and see if she does anything else stupid again.

Butchergirl22 4

Friday 3 January 2014 19:42

Excellent parent threat!

ClumsySilly 2

Friday 3 January 2014 20:21

How long has she had to wait to resort to this?

NinaAD 10

Friday 3 January 2014 20:28

Sorry op. Maybe you should start listening to your mother.

stargirl_95 24

Saturday 4 January 2014 16:51

I'm pretty sure that the fact that OP's mother has had to resort to public humiliation to get her to do things is pretty solid evidence that OP doesn't listen to her.

chosha_fml 26

Friday 3 January 2014 21:09

Tell her to go for it, and when she does yell out, 'woohoo, mom! Way to look like a prostitute in front of minors.' The secret to threats of embarrassment is to not be embarrassed.

loserman67 35

Friday 3 January 2014 21:13

Call her bluff, but be careful. If your mom is overweight (no disrespect) she'll only make a fool out of herself, but if your mom is a MILF - you might come home one day to one or more of your friends banging your mom.

awilliams44 9

Friday 3 January 2014 21:18

my mum does it anyway haha

joselgarciac 9

Friday 3 January 2014 21:49

Got to admit, she is good at blackmail...

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The Top

Today, the guy I'd been talking to online and liked came to my house party with a bunch of mutual friends. He spent the night sitting in the corner on the sofa talking to my cat. I woke up later to see that not only had he crashed for the night, but he'd curled up in the dog basket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 684

You deserved it 9 289

Today, I got back from a six month deployment overseas. My girlfriend of three years couldn't pick me up from the airport because she had an intramural softball game to go to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 81 789

You deserved it 6 438

The Top

Today, my boyfriend sent me a nude picture. I would have been fine with it if he hadn't taken it in his ex-girlfriend's room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 426

You deserved it 4 763

Today, at my job as a funeral director, I fell ass over heels into the grave in front of a hundred mourners and an unamused Catholic priest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 921

You deserved it 153

Today, my mom asked me, once again, if my girlfriend of almost a year is just a cover up for being gay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 074

You deserved it 4 275

Today, I was chatting with my girlfriend and I asked her to give me her phone to make a call since mine was dead. A text came in from someone and the name sounded familiar. My best friend has been dating my girlfriend longer than I have, and she gave him head. I kissed her earlier that day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 007

You deserved it 3 266

Today, my best friends became friends with my ex-girlfriend, saying she was really nice. I found this to be an awful lot of BS because my ex didn't even like me, and liked someone else while dating me. That was an arsehole move. My friends all became friendly with her, disregarding my presence, and saying she's "so nice." FML

I agree, your life sucks 835

You deserved it 195

Today, I was telling my dad how I turned down some guy, but when I mentioned the guy's name my dad was like, “Oh, you mean the son of my old friend, studying computer engineering, genius, real future ahead of him, and you think you can do better than him? What’s wrong with you?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 901

You deserved it 524