Miscellaneous: Today, when I am asked to do something and I don't do it immediately,...

By FMLPLZ - 03/01/2014 02:52 - United States - Milwaukee

Today, when I am asked to do something and I don't do it immediately, my mother threatens to "twerk" in front of my friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 762

You deserved it 9 203

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Same thing different taste

Sips unsee juice

By Facepalm2020 - 21/06/2020 23:01

Today, my mom asked me what twerking was. When I said that it was a club dance, trying to get out of telling her what it actually was, she begged me to teach her how to do it. My mom complained to my dad, who grounded me for not teaching her to twerk her ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 581

You deserved it 348

By ThatOneGirl646 - 12/01/2012 00:49 - United States

Today, my mother threatened me if I keep wearing yoga pants to school, she's going to have my dad pick me up in a speedo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 888

You deserved it 49 528

Life and soul of the party

By Anonymous - 01/01/2016 10:08 - United States - San Antonio

Today, during a party, my drunk mother stumbled over to take a picture of me and my brother. She told me to put a party blower in my mouth for the picture, but I politely declined. She threatened to spank me in front of everyone if I didn't do it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 632

You deserved it 2 289

Not so Karate Kid

By Matthew - 09/03/2020 19:00 - United States - Juneau

Today, my mom told me to do karate with her, and so I said no. Now my mom won't let me do anything until I go do karate with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 346

You deserved it 346

By Jess - 30/05/2011 15:46 - United States

Today, my mom publicly pole danced. In a playground. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 082

You deserved it 5 036

By Numbnuts - 08/03/2010 03:08 - United States

Today, I was really bored and decided to annoy my mom while she was doing the dishes. I walked up behind her, touched her shoulder, and said "Poke". She then donkey kicks me straight in the nuts saying "Kick". I know now to never bug my mom when she's in a bad mood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 350

You deserved it 38 552

By -_- - 05/07/2013 21:59 - United States - Munith

Today, at a family dinner, my mother-in-law talked me into showing off some moves that I've learned in martial arts. I gently did a restraining hold on her. She screamed that I was trying to break her wrists, and kept the wounded act up all night, smirking as everyone gave me death glares. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 583

You deserved it 5 226

Overreaching

By Entitled parents suck. - 12/10/2022 10:00

Today, my mother threatened to disown me if I didn't break up with my tattooed girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 911

You deserved it 144

By FatalxDesire599 - 05/03/2010 15:39 - United States

Today, my mother stormed into my room shouting about how I never go anywhere and then tells me to go out "NOW" and do something. As she is pushing me out the door, her boyfriend walks in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 684

You deserved it 2 834

By Ashy104 - 09/01/2010 05:36 - United States

Today, I asked my mom if she thought I looked skinny in my shorts. She jiggled my leg fat, looked up at me and walked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 787

You deserved it 26 356

jdeezy01 13

Friday 3 January 2014 17:09

Mama gotz moves!

MysticMonkey 9

Friday 3 January 2014 17:17

I really wish this twerking craze would die out. It's ridiculous.

Comments

limitedition 25

Saturday 4 January 2014 2:52

Call her bluff. Let her twerk, tape it and post it to YouTube. Your Mom sounds like a fun lady, OP

jddrinker 6

Saturday 4 January 2014 4:00

Is your mom hot?

KenDawg7 2

Saturday 4 January 2014 4:16

Is your mom hot?

MrsAlexander83 10

Saturday 4 January 2014 5:49

OMG--that's funny! I may very well have to steal her idea for my own kids!

Meanmommy02 11

Saturday 4 January 2014 6:28

My sister in law and I do the same to my niece.. Hehehe

Nish007 15

Saturday 4 January 2014 7:03

lol

michaelaxiv 4

Saturday 4 January 2014 7:06

that's genius

ubcguy89 2

Saturday 4 January 2014 7:07

She can twerk for me!

jellybeens_fml 16

Saturday 4 January 2014 7:17

Oh my god what a nightmare

ARealOreo 2

Saturday 4 January 2014 12:25

My mom threatend to, so I taught her how. Her face was priceless

Keywords

Awkward Miscellaneous Embarrassing Work Sleep Dating Love Am I overreacting? Annoying Parents Health Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts Fight Cops Drugs Neighbours Medication Relatable Teenagers Dogs Animals Gamers Ironic Video games Job interview

The Top

Today, I sent a kinky text message to my boyfriend. Within minutes I got a reply of, "Whoever this is, fuck off and give my girlfriend's phone back." Apparently I'm so bad at writing sexy messages that my boyfriend thought it was a prank from someone who'd stolen my phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 975

You deserved it 10 760

Today, my boyfriend and I were in the shower and things were getting heated. I tried to move position, but slipped and fell, bringing the shower curtain I'd grabbed onto down with me along its support rod. My ass hit the floor just as hard as the rod hit my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 537

You deserved it 10 056

The Top

Today, I went to an ATM to see how much money I had in my account. I put the card in. It never gave it back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 975

You deserved it 4 126

Today, my two year-old cousin was having a temper tantrum. I decided to give him a flashlight because playing with it usually distracts him. It didn't. Instead, he hit me in the face with it as hard as possible, leaving a bruise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 067

You deserved it 24 987

Today, I got my wisdom teeth removed and took the pain medicine that the oral surgeon prescribed for me before bed. The pain actually did go away for the most part, until my stomach decided to betray me and make me throw up, forcing my jaw to open more than it could after surgery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 701

You deserved it 283

Today, my creepy co-worker informed me that he was going to stick his "peeny-weeny" in my "teeny-vageeny". FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 030

You deserved it 400

Today, a customer at the restaurant where I work reduced me to tears by screaming at me, as I nearly knocked out his 2-year-old with the kitchen door, after he let the little boy play on the floor behind it. Apparently, it's my fault I can't see through solid wood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 650

You deserved it 1 945

Today, I tried to contact my college's financial aid office. After listening to the same damn "Our counselors are busy" message for over an hour, someone picked up the phone and hung up immediately. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 727

You deserved it 3 201