Miscellaneous: Today, when I am asked to do something and I don't do it immediately,...

By FMLPLZ - 03/01/2014 02:52 - United States - Milwaukee

Today, when I am asked to do something and I don't do it immediately, my mother threatens to "twerk" in front of my friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 762

You deserved it 9 203

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By Facepalm2020 - 21/06/2020 23:01

Today, my mom asked me what twerking was. When I said that it was a club dance, trying to get out of telling her what it actually was, she begged me to teach her how to do it. My mom complained to my dad, who grounded me for not teaching her to twerk her ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 581

You deserved it 348

By ThatOneGirl646 - 12/01/2012 00:49 - United States

Today, my mother threatened me if I keep wearing yoga pants to school, she's going to have my dad pick me up in a speedo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 888

You deserved it 49 528

Life and soul of the party

By Anonymous - 01/01/2016 10:08 - United States - San Antonio

Today, during a party, my drunk mother stumbled over to take a picture of me and my brother. She told me to put a party blower in my mouth for the picture, but I politely declined. She threatened to spank me in front of everyone if I didn't do it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 632

You deserved it 2 289

Not so Karate Kid

By Matthew - 09/03/2020 19:00 - United States - Juneau

Today, my mom told me to do karate with her, and so I said no. Now my mom won't let me do anything until I go do karate with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 346

You deserved it 346

By Jess - 30/05/2011 15:46 - United States

Today, my mom publicly pole danced. In a playground. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 082

You deserved it 5 036

By Numbnuts - 08/03/2010 03:08 - United States

Today, I was really bored and decided to annoy my mom while she was doing the dishes. I walked up behind her, touched her shoulder, and said "Poke". She then donkey kicks me straight in the nuts saying "Kick". I know now to never bug my mom when she's in a bad mood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 348

You deserved it 38 548

By -_- - 05/07/2013 21:59 - United States - Munith

Today, at a family dinner, my mother-in-law talked me into showing off some moves that I've learned in martial arts. I gently did a restraining hold on her. She screamed that I was trying to break her wrists, and kept the wounded act up all night, smirking as everyone gave me death glares. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 583

You deserved it 5 226

Overreaching

By Entitled parents suck. - 12/10/2022 10:00

Today, my mother threatened to disown me if I didn't break up with my tattooed girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 910

You deserved it 144

By FatalxDesire599 - 05/03/2010 15:39 - United States

Today, my mother stormed into my room shouting about how I never go anywhere and then tells me to go out "NOW" and do something. As she is pushing me out the door, her boyfriend walks in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 683

You deserved it 2 834

By Ashy104 - 09/01/2010 05:36 - United States

Today, I asked my mom if she thought I looked skinny in my shorts. She jiggled my leg fat, looked up at me and walked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 787

You deserved it 26 356

jdeezy01 13

Friday 3 January 2014 17:09

Mama gotz moves!

MysticMonkey 9

Friday 3 January 2014 17:17

I really wish this twerking craze would die out. It's ridiculous.

Comments

kumarina 35

Friday 3 January 2014 17:49

Hahaha funny picture

rivaraven 35

Friday 3 January 2014 18:01

I'd let her do it.

jh921971 10

Friday 3 January 2014 18:04

It sucks having to do chores in exchange for free rent and food :P

olpally 32

Friday 3 January 2014 18:12

Let her do it, and then start laughing at her with all your friends. Hahaha. She'll realize that's a stupid way to control you.

pepsi_ftw 13

Friday 3 January 2014 18:23

shake shake shake dat thing

fivetimeslonger 24

Friday 3 January 2014 18:41

This is only a good thing if your name is Stacey.

reeses1981 10

Friday 3 January 2014 18:53

Well get to work then!!! Sad that your mother has to be reduced to threats to get over your lazy ass

toxic_walrus 15

Friday 3 January 2014 18:54

Parenting win x 1000

worldclassrager 39

Friday 3 January 2014 18:57

Good lord...and your word is threaten...why not see if it happens...might become a big hit on YouTube or something....

protected_by_9mm 4

Friday 3 January 2014 19:04

you must do everything asap

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The Top

Today my boyfriend of one year dumped me. When I started crying, he said, “Want to know something that will make you hate me so you won’t be so sad?” and then told me he’s been cheating on me with multiple women, the entire time we’ve been dating. He thought that would comfort me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 605

You deserved it 207

Today, I found out that when you gain too much weight, your penis can get significantly smaller. After noticing that things had been "off" in the bedroom, my girlfriend and I decided to measure it. There was significant shrinkage. I guess it's time to start working out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 971

You deserved it 1 921

The Top

Today, I was listening to my son's teacher gossip about students whilst in the grocery store. I was thrilled when she described my son as "A model student". However, she then went on to say, "Which is surprising considering that his parents are trailer trash." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 623

You deserved it 8 345

Today, I was sitting on the train when some crazy man started talking to me. I ignored him, and he tapped on my shoulder. He started blabbing and I just pointed to my ears and mouthed, "I'm deaf." He stopped talking. A minute later my phone rang and I answered it without thinking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 080

You deserved it 75 580

Today, I spent fifteen minutes looking for my phone in my car before I realized I was using it as a flashlight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 842

You deserved it 61 075

Today, my boyfriend finally let me take his dog on a walk, after two years of not trusting me to keep her safe. During the walk, a car drove by, causing her to run after it and pulling the leash out of my hand. Five hours later, and I still can't find her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 143

You deserved it 26 206

Today, I drove my truck into the garage for a couple of minor repairs. It was returned on a flatbed with a blown engine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 844

You deserved it 111

Today, I got a gift from my wife in the form of divorce papers. She waited till after New Year's so it wouldn't show up on her taxes for 2011. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 009

You deserved it 2 853