By Anonymous - 05/12/2010 05:09 - United States

Spicy
Today, while at my mom's birthday dinner, I started to pretend to drum with one hand, using my left leg as the drums. Everybody stared at me and started to yell. Now they all think I was masturbating. FML
I agree, your life sucks 27 363
You deserved it 11 903

Same thing different taste

Top comments

That's the best cover story for mastetbuting I have heard.. I may use it in the future :D

mexipunker 0

Mom: No masterbating at the table young man, now finish your peas. Son: Yes mommy.

Comments

mexipunker 0

Mom: No masterbating at the table young man, now finish your peas. Son: Yes mommy.

That's why, in most countries, it's considered very impolite not to keep both of your hands ON the table. If not, you don't know what people do with their hands. I'm always a bit uncomfortablr when I eat with Americans. They look like children when they eat.

oarisimo 4

what a way to generalize, asshole.

are you serious!!!! your a chicken!! I'm not even American and I take offence to that arsehole alright!!!

ifyouseekamy666 0

eh I usually am a child so I probably do look like one when I eat too..

Why do you react so strongly? I'm just talking about a cultural difference. It IS, in general, considered very impolite to keep your hand under the table while you eat, but not in the US. Then I just gave my personnal opinion: it makes me feel uncomfortable not knowing where people's hands are. And I said they looked like children because in my country, only children who still eat with a spoon are likely to keep their other hand under the table. When they grow up, they keep their knife in their other hand at all times. Again, cultural difference. If in one country people swam like dogs, would you jump at me for merely saying that they remind me of dogs when they swim? No. Gee, get a grip of yourselves people.

Sometimes I wish Americans would conform to Continental style dining, it would make life easier for some of us lol.

that's true. I went to europe a couple years ago and people thought it was so weird that I cut my food then put the knife down and switch my fork to my other hand and put one hand in my lap. they keep their fork and knife in their hand at all times. so yea:) it's just a cultural difference being pointed out. not supposed to be an insult.

you are a ******* ass hole, you obviously have no idea what you are talking about.

jdortega 2

Then don't eat with Americans, they're probably uncomfortable eating with you while you tell them how much better you are then them

robc32ca 4

and when the waiter came, I said "ewe look the waiter came!"

ydi for getting excited over the **** tail weines.

I guess momma looked pretty good today, eh? But somebody really should tell her that just because it's called her "birthday suit" doesn't mean she has too wear it EVERY birthday.

Shadow_Phantom 26

The hell is wrong with people these days... FYL.

yummyhound 0

Ydi for doing something at a dinner table that makes you look like you were touching yourself inappropriately. that made you start drumming on your leg? That sounds hella stupid to begin with.

unluckybastard18 0

Fyl your family are ******* nasty pigs.

Iknoweverything 29

I really HATE people who pretend to drum all the time. OP probably had one of those dumb looks on his face like he's getting into it. I'm going to say YDI just because I HATE HATE HATE people who drum on everything and everything! (Did anyone get that I hate it? And I have a valid reason... my dumbass brother never stops, nor does the idiot who sits next to me in lecture.)

don't hate because your to much of a asshole to have a sense of rhythm.

Well, I'll make sure to keep it up to annoy you! see you in lecture!