Intimacy: Today, while getting a lump in my private region examined by...

By Anonymous - 23/07/2010 00:39 - United Kingdom

Today, while getting a lump in my private region examined by a very cute nurse, I got a massive erection. The smartest thing I could think to say at the time to her was: "I haven't been touched there in a very long time." FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 869

You deserved it 16 882

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Same thing different taste

Volcanic eruption

By Anonymous - 10/01/2020 18:00

I agree, your life sucks 3 358

You deserved it 978

By Joel_28 - 01/03/2010 00:33 - Canada

Today, I went to the physician to check my rear because it was hurting. My usual doctor wasn't available, so he was replaced by a gorgeous woman with big cleavage. when she asked me to pull down my pants, she saw that I had a huge hard on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 505

You deserved it 20 698

By Anonymous - 29/04/2013 16:51 - United Kingdom - Glasgow

Today, I went to have a breast exam. The doc told me that she would touch different parts of my breasts, and said to tell her if at any point it felt painful. As she was examining me, I was going to say that it wasn't painful, but instead I blurted out, "It feels good." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 780

You deserved it 13 334

By i fuckin love habaneros - 22/07/2016 19:19 - United States - Charlottesville

Today, I'm so deprived of female attention that I got a hard-on when a nurse told me I have beautiful veins. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 844

You deserved it 2 398

It's been a while

By Anonymous - 03/10/2021 05:00 - United States - Perkasie

Today, I finally had someone else touch my man parts. It was my doctor, checking for testicular cancer and a hernia, as part of my yearly physical. He's the only person other than myself to touch my junk in the last 4 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 124

You deserved it 227

By manlyman - 05/04/2009 13:32 - United States

Today, I went to the doctor's office because my wife and I are having some fertility problems. As I removed my pants, the doctor simply looked at my penis and said, "Mhm." My wife laughed the whole way home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 78 309

You deserved it 5 309

Tough

By prostate - 08/06/2009 13:48 - United States

Today, I got prostate examination for the first time. Now I can't decide what's worse, the fact that I got a boner when the doctor inserted his finger, or the fact that my wife told the story to pretty much everybody we know. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 409

You deserved it 7 057

By Anonymous - 31/03/2009 14:46 - United States

Today, I was at the doctor's office and the doctor asked me "have you been having any intimate relations?" and the first thing that I blurted out was, "you mean with other people?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 356

You deserved it 71 730

Not now, Cooper

By Me. - 27/10/2011 06:40 - United States

Today, I got a boner at the dentist's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 005

You deserved it 8 875

Not now, little man!

By WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY - 30/05/2024 07:00 - United States

Today, this might sound silly, but would you like to know what I think is the absolute worst time to get an uncontrollable boner? I'll tell you: While a female doctor is examining your privates. I swear, if there's anything more embarrassing than that, I'd like to know, because I'm still mortified. FML

I agree, your life sucks 635

You deserved it 173

tehslack 5

Friday 23 July 2010 9:13

Haha, moronic.

OreosBeGooood15 0

Friday 23 July 2010 9:14

Hahahaha way to go mc lovin !

Comments

emodude44 0

Monday 3 January 2011 13:04

246TH!!!!

kbourco 0

Wednesday 26 January 2011 9:26

FTW # 9, FTW

iateyourmuffin 0

Tuesday 22 March 2011 22:32

I WANT TO FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUKKKKÛ

cutiepie343 7

Monday 16 May 2011 13:03

real smooth buddy, lol :P

rusrsbrah 0

Thursday 2 June 2011 21:54

"don't act like you're not impressed. ;)"

jsmith2 0

Thursday 14 July 2011 14:30

akward

muhamad92 1

Monday 13 February 2012 12:56

God damn it hot nurses.

paintedchocolate 30

Sunday 13 January 2013 18:51

Sometimes a simple 'sorry' should suffice...

NordicPride89 5

Monday 7 October 2013 15:05

That's one way to make a point

deadpool86 7

Sunday 8 June 2014 10:49

Totally down with the team lestat woman, that means she's seen a real vampire movie or two. And as a nurse, stranger things have happened

Keywords

Awkward Love Friends Miscellaneous Cute Haircut Relatable Work Cars You're fired Kids Parenting Family DIY Cats Intimacy Sex Am I overreacting? Poopoo peepee Management Capitalism Coworkers Frustration Transportation Animals ADHD Dogs Dating Mental health Health

The Top

Today, I finally got an interview for the job I want. The interviewer looked at my resumé and asked, "So, what have you been doing for the past 10 years?" I guess binge-watching Netflix wasn't the right answer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 201

You deserved it 1 118

Today, my son asked for my help with a personal matter. I was flattered that he trusted me, since he's a paranoid, untrusting psycho. Turned out he wanted to use my locksmith skills to break into his ex's house and "teach her a lesson" for breaking up with him after he cheated on her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 865

You deserved it 5 424

The Top

Today, some asshat thought it would be funny to put a second lock on my locker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 611

You deserved it 150

Today, at almost 26 years old, my beard is finally coming in. Too bad it, like the hair on my head, is 50% grey already. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 687

You deserved it 281

Today, my son got in trouble at school. The kids had to solve a problem by determining whether it was better for "Edna" to repair or replace her AC unit. He said Edna is an "old person's name" and she was "probably going to die soon anyway", so she shouldn't do either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 082

You deserved it 3 943

Today, my boyfriend cutely climbed through my bedroom window for some sexy time. He decided he'd introduce bondage. As I was tied to the bed, completely naked, we heard the front door open. He got scared and left via the window, leaving me handcuffed to my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 496

You deserved it 8 516

Today, I finally got up the nerve to ask this really cute girl out I've had a crush on for over eight months. Turns out she isn't a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 97 177

You deserved it 34 572

Today, my son, who has ASD, told a woman how gigantic her butt was. While trying to remind him that some things are not nice to say, he screamed that her butt is the "giantest butt ever," like it was an accomplishment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 717

You deserved it 201