Intimacy: Today, while getting a lump in my private region examined by...

By Anonymous - 23/07/2010 00:39 - United Kingdom

Today, while getting a lump in my private region examined by a very cute nurse, I got a massive erection. The smartest thing I could think to say at the time to her was: "I haven't been touched there in a very long time." FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 869

You deserved it 16 882

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Same thing different taste

Volcanic eruption

By Anonymous - 10/01/2020 18:00

I agree, your life sucks 3 358

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By Joel_28 - 01/03/2010 00:33 - Canada

Today, I went to the physician to check my rear because it was hurting. My usual doctor wasn't available, so he was replaced by a gorgeous woman with big cleavage. when she asked me to pull down my pants, she saw that I had a huge hard on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 505

You deserved it 20 698

By Anonymous - 29/04/2013 16:51 - United Kingdom - Glasgow

Today, I went to have a breast exam. The doc told me that she would touch different parts of my breasts, and said to tell her if at any point it felt painful. As she was examining me, I was going to say that it wasn't painful, but instead I blurted out, "It feels good." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 780

You deserved it 13 334

By i fuckin love habaneros - 22/07/2016 19:19 - United States - Charlottesville

Today, I'm so deprived of female attention that I got a hard-on when a nurse told me I have beautiful veins. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 844

You deserved it 2 398

It's been a while

By Anonymous - 03/10/2021 05:00 - United States - Perkasie

Today, I finally had someone else touch my man parts. It was my doctor, checking for testicular cancer and a hernia, as part of my yearly physical. He's the only person other than myself to touch my junk in the last 4 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 124

You deserved it 227

By manlyman - 05/04/2009 13:32 - United States

Today, I went to the doctor's office because my wife and I are having some fertility problems. As I removed my pants, the doctor simply looked at my penis and said, "Mhm." My wife laughed the whole way home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 78 309

You deserved it 5 309

Tough

By prostate - 08/06/2009 13:48 - United States

Today, I got prostate examination for the first time. Now I can't decide what's worse, the fact that I got a boner when the doctor inserted his finger, or the fact that my wife told the story to pretty much everybody we know. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 409

You deserved it 7 057

By Anonymous - 31/03/2009 14:46 - United States

Today, I was at the doctor's office and the doctor asked me "have you been having any intimate relations?" and the first thing that I blurted out was, "you mean with other people?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 356

You deserved it 71 730

Not now, Cooper

By Me. - 27/10/2011 06:40 - United States

Today, I got a boner at the dentist's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 005

You deserved it 8 875

Not now, little man!

By WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY - 30/05/2024 07:00 - United States

Today, this might sound silly, but would you like to know what I think is the absolute worst time to get an uncontrollable boner? I'll tell you: While a female doctor is examining your privates. I swear, if there's anything more embarrassing than that, I'd like to know, because I'm still mortified. FML

I agree, your life sucks 635

You deserved it 173

tehslack 5

Friday 23 July 2010 9:13

Haha, moronic.

OreosBeGooood15 0

Friday 23 July 2010 9:14

Hahahaha way to go mc lovin !

Comments

ZombieDios 1

Friday 23 July 2010 17:57

I love lamp.

petertre002 0

Friday 23 July 2010 18:12

thats hottt :) ill get you hard.... call/text meee 509. 954. 1985

MissVao 0

Friday 23 July 2010 18:17

I hope it wasn't tiny. XD LOL!

CatEyes66 0

Friday 23 July 2010 18:45

Haha.............Well at least you didn't fart right after you said that, just saying it could of been worse I think.

aliceVDMlolmdr 1

Friday 23 July 2010 18:51

well it least it was " massive " cause if it was "small" which it probably was then she would have laughed and u would feel bad

chimshar 0

Friday 23 July 2010 18:55

pictures or it didn't happen.

Daniboy_hockey 0

Friday 23 July 2010 19:13

ask for her phone number, lol

blackberry8462 0

Friday 23 July 2010 19:24

that sounds like something Ross geller would say hahahaha :)

thecatsmeow_xx 9

Friday 23 July 2010 22:57

This is so f'n funny. favorited. XD

mrmaks18 7

Saturday 24 July 2010 0:43

well a good nurse would have replied let's not let it go to waste I know crude joke 

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The Top

Today, I was in an elevator with my girlfriend when it suddenly stopped. Thinking of being spontaneous like in all the movies, I propped her up on the railings and started getting passionate. That's when the emergency phone rang. And I discovered there was a security camera. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 331

You deserved it 41 017

Today, I demanded to know why my boyfriend takes so long in public toilets. He admitted his ex was such a nasty ho, she would drag him into public toilets whenever she wanted dick in public. So now every time he goes in one, he gets a boner and has to "get rid of it" before he can come out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 138

You deserved it 350

The Top

Today, we had our first rainstorm in weeks. Thirty seconds before it started, my window broke in the "down" position from overuse, since last week the air conditioning in my car gave out. Now I have a hot, wet car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 398

You deserved it 3 179

Today, I experienced the old joke about recognising women by their shoes sticking out of the driver and passenger windows. It was my mother's shoes in my mother's car, but the guy happily plowing her on top of the hand-brake was not my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 601

You deserved it 315

Today, it's either be alone and miserable, or go on shitty dates and be miserable. I have no other options. FML

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You deserved it 6 756

Today, my father forced me to go to therapy, then dumped out everything I made there into our sink. Apparently, I'm "not a batshit crazy psycho who needed to go to therapy." FML

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You deserved it 111

Today, my attention-seeking, insanely thick co-worker explained that due to her new diet she can't eat bread. She "can eat pizza" though. When we pointed out that they’re pretty much made of the same ingredients, she wouldn’t believe us. I sit right behind this idiot every day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 317

You deserved it 2 762

Today, I was driving in my car with my daughter, who was eating a nutri-grain bar. After a while she holds out her hand saying, "It's on my finger! I don't wanna eat it!" I pick up the little piece of nutri-grain filling and put it in my mouth, only to realize it was a large booger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 557

You deserved it 27 578