Sex and Intimacy: Today, while having sex, my girlfriend suddenly broke down and...

By lovely - 19/12/2011 06:43 - Netherlands

Today, while having sex, my girlfriend suddenly broke down and started crying. Apparently, when I'm horny, my face reminds her of her dead dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 573

You deserved it 4 588

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By fingerfuckd - 29/04/2009 15:47 - Canada

Today, I was fingering my girlfriend. When suddenly she started crying at the peak of her orgasm, when I asked what was wrong, she replied. "I-I-I MISS HIM!" She was crying about her ex boyfriend. While I was inside her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 166 723

You deserved it 13 694

Not now, dude

By Anonymous - 25/10/2014 18:44 - United States - Montgomery

Today, I was hugging my girlfriend after she had a really bad day at work, when she burst into tears and started sobbing. For some reason that I'll never understand, it gave me a hard-on. She felt it, and now she thinks I'm a sick bastard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 201

You deserved it 7 319

By Brett meek - 19/02/2010 07:41 - Canada

Today, I was having sex with a girl. While we were fooling around, she started squeezing my cheeks and told me I remind her of her son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 607

You deserved it 3 640

By blueballs - 14/09/2012 00:06 - United States - Santa Clarita

Today, in the middle of what had to be the most amazing blowjob I've ever had in my life, my girlfriend had a mental breakdown and began weeping on top of my cock. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 165

You deserved it 8 240

Communication

By GoneLimp - 07/03/2017 20:00 - United States - Havelock

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend doggy-style and noticed a piece of toilet paper had been "left behind". I had such a bad internal conflict about whether to tell her or to remove it myself, I went limp. She started crying and accused me of not being attracted to her anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 947

You deserved it 1 646

Woof woof

By kjdhfakjs - 20/05/2010 18:32 - United States

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he started pretending he was a dog. This included barking, licking my face, and scratching his ears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 443

You deserved it 6 706

Technique

By jlowder2 - 11/12/2009 02:22 - United States

Today, my wife and I were getting intimate. I wanted to make it last longer, so I tried thinking of something else. Suddenly she says, "What are you thinking?" I reply, "Dead puppies." This apparently turned her off more than it did me, because she got out of the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 211

You deserved it 31 191

By Acne_problems - 22/02/2019 02:00

Today, my girlfriend and I were starting to do the deed and she started popping zits on my chest. Then she said that I was killing the mood because my cat was meowing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 993

You deserved it 268

Submission

By Anonymous - 24/11/2019 18:00 - Canada

Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. I thought I'd be spontaneous and spice things up, and gave her a spank across the butt. She started crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 514

You deserved it 1 908

Honest

By fml1977 - 04/03/2010 06:43 - United States

Today, in the middle of having sex, my girlfriend stopped moaning. I asked what was wrong. She said, "I'm bored." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 384

You deserved it 8 015

ThomasAZ 3

Monday 19 December 2011 12:05

Doggy style!

imustbeinsane 2

Monday 19 December 2011 12:07

Don't ask what breed, it'll only hurt more. *cough* bulldog *cough*

Comments

ScotsLassie 6

Monday 19 December 2011 13:39

Just tell her to close her eyes and everything will be ok

rubberduckie94 13

Monday 19 December 2011 13:39

well, thats something you dont hear everyday.

Jimboom 11

Monday 19 December 2011 13:43

Put a flag over your face and tell her to do it for her country!

RuCheezBurger 10

Monday 19 December 2011 13:47

I think most people would stop having sex with their "dog" unless they put a bag on their head.

linkinpark98 23

Monday 19 December 2011 13:50

o___O

Snow_Daisy 7

Monday 19 December 2011 14:05

She's too young for you, bro.

irishman1989 0

Monday 19 December 2011 14:07

You must be a goofy lookin mofo

imaginaryvoice 18

Monday 19 December 2011 16:55

I think We have The same birthday:)

rabbittboi 18

Monday 19 December 2011 17:17

Or that was one damn good looking dog.

EvilLilCupcake 10

Tuesday 20 December 2011 12:37

49 & 84: that makes three of us with the same birthday! 84: I was also born on 4/11/94!

manhands21 6

Monday 19 December 2011 14:29

what kind of things was she doing with her dog if your sex face reminded her of it?

EPICROCKERNINJA 8

Monday 19 December 2011 14:39

Oh lord...

Keyonah_Babee 0

Monday 19 December 2011 14:46

Change your faces , or turn off the lights

EvilLilCupcake 10

Tuesday 20 December 2011 6:56

Maybe he has those lights that turn on and off by clapping noises.

Keywords

Love Cheating Money Relatable Work Jealousy My ex Health Accident ADHD Medication Weather Snow Miscellaneous Embarrassing Awkward Am I overreacting? Relationship advice Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Public freakouts

The Top

Here's the latest video from our friends at 10secondtraumas.com, enjoy! Kay Akana, co-founder of 10secondtraumas.com, is also a stand-up comedian in LA. Do go and check out her performances, she did manage to make us lot laugh! ...

I agree, your life sucks 5

You deserved it 33

Today, I woke up with the flu that causes me to throw up violently until I dry heave and can't breathe. I told my mom I would rather have the runs, and not even a minute later, I got them. So now if I move too fast, I throw up, and if I don't move fast enough, I shit myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 669

You deserved it 3 982

The Top

Today, I had to explain to my grandmother why, "What a nice singing voice! He doesn't sound black at all!" is not a compliment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 069

You deserved it 3 069

Today, I called a tree removal company to have my diseased elm removed. When I got home from work, I was surprised to find it still there. Not as surprised as my neighbor was to discover that his tree was missing, nor as surprised as his children when they saw there was no more tree-house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 399

You deserved it 4 441

Today, I asked a girl for her number and I wrote it down when she gave it to me. When I called her, it wasn't her. She'd given me a restaurant's phone number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 755

You deserved it 298

Today, while showing off the sharpness of my new katana, I missed my target and hit my shoe. The strike cut into the second toe of my right foot, which then had to be amputated. Demonstration successful. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 823

You deserved it 5 007

Today, at midnight, I heard my son calling for his mom. I stopped by his room and asked him what was wrong? He didn't tell me. Instead, he said: "Oh, I don't need you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 881

You deserved it 216

Today, two children decided it would be fun to try to ding-dong-ditch me. I never answered the door as I saw them running away. They did it a couple of times before getting bored. That's when they decided it would be fun to come into my house instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 191

You deserved it 5 169