Intimacy: Today, while I was at home watching Netflix, my parents drunkenly...

By oil300 - 23/07/2015 02:34 - Australia - Hawker

Today, while I was at home watching Netflix, my parents drunkenly stumbled through the door making out the whole time. I thought that the situation couldn't get worse, but then my Dad asked me if I had a condom they could use. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 168

You deserved it 2 508

oil300 tells us more.

oil300 17

Thursday 23 July 2015 12:29

Ahahah some of the comments here are pretty funny...but some are pretty off...you weirdos

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Top comments

wheresthesafety 31

Thursday 23 July 2015 11:58

And did you have one?

MrThump 16

Thursday 23 July 2015 12:03

Hope you gave him a ribbed one for your mums pleasure.

Comments

darthhera 11

Thursday 23 July 2015 19:40

Haha and then what ;)

King_ibloK 12

Thursday 23 July 2015 19:56

Your life should be a Netflix show

heavenlyassbutt 11

Thursday 23 July 2015 20:15

At Keats they're been careful

heavenlyassbutt 11

Thursday 23 July 2015 20:22

At they're been responsible.

KayDee29 31

Friday 24 July 2015 1:11

You tried so hard... Twice.

A07 48

Friday 24 July 2015 6:31

You mean to say, he tried two hard.

Drosophila82 18

Thursday 23 July 2015 20:48

Discovering more about Pluto tells us a lot about how Earth was formed...Now you're like earth, buddy! Enjoy the discovery firsthand!

Miss_Mandi 29

Thursday 23 July 2015 21:05

It'd be worse if you got to hear everything afterward. Besides, they seem to be happy. :)

worldclassrager 39

Thursday 23 July 2015 21:27

What did you say?

1dvos_grl3 21

Thursday 23 July 2015 22:12

Hey at least they're playing it safe..

EyRaB 17

Thursday 23 July 2015 22:45

But but .. it feels so much better without a condom !

MzZombicidal 36

Friday 24 July 2015 5:10

Sure, giving birth and raising a child is so much better than a thin, rubber shield...

berkeleyjake 13

Thursday 23 July 2015 22:58

I guess they don't want another you

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The Top

Today, while driving home, I looked in the rear-view mirror and saw that my three-year-old daughter had managed to get out of her seat and had crawled to the back window. I pulled over and strapped her in again. Five minutes later she was back at the window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 219

You deserved it 5 961

Today, an absolute cretin of a lorry driver ran into the back of me as I was slowing down for an orange light about to go red. My car is totalled and he had the nerve to tell the police I had brake checked him on purpose, probably for an insurance scam, and that it was all my fault. FML

I agree, your life sucks 470

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The Top

Today, I am babysitting my niece for the first time. After getting her to go to sleep, I felt a sudden urge to sneeze. My sneezes are loud as hell. Attempts to dampen the sound were unsuccessful. My colossal sneeze scared the bejesus out of her, waking her up again, and now she's afraid of me. What do I do now? FML

I agree, your life sucks 386

You deserved it 166

Today, I would understand if my mom left the stove a bit greasy after cooking, because it’s too hot to wipe down right away. What she actually does is she leaves the stove HAIRY. FML

I agree, your life sucks 815

You deserved it 86

Today, my 7-year-old used the word "crap". When I told her that she mustn't use that word because it's rude, she simply replied, "Mother, you should hear the words I use at school." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 487

You deserved it 5 786

Today, I found out that the only reason my parents have been letting me hang out with my friends so late is so they can search my room for drugs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 548

You deserved it 3 468

Today, while searching a woman for contraband as part of my job, she kept making sexual noises throughout. After I finished, she hugged me and went on her way. I really need a new job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 987

You deserved it 4 750

Today, I think I've finally gotten past the food poisoning that caused me to puke so violently that I pulled muscles in my abdomen and chest. Unfortunately, some of that vomit hung around long enough to give me a sinus infection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 576

You deserved it 1 369