Health: Today, while I was trying to explain to my friend how smoking...

By BCBUDDY - 07/05/2011 15:29 - United States

Today, while I was trying to explain to my friend how smoking weed everyday doesn't make you stupid, I forgot what I was talking about mid-sentence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 435

You deserved it 91 879

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Same thing different taste

Unreliable narrator

By screwed - 20/03/2014 21:03 - United States - Amarillo

Today, I had to give a deposition ahead of a trial in which my former boss is accused of fraud. I'm not a smart man, and I smoked a joint before heading out to try to calm my nerves. I got way too high and ended up giggling like an idiot through half the deposition. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 183

You deserved it 70 007

All shook up

By Mike - 15/12/2010 11:57

Today, while giving a brief presentation at work, I blanked out on what I was going to say. I tried to make a joke and tell them I'd had a brain fart, but all I managed to say was, "I farted." Well, at least they all laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 077

You deserved it 8 697

By crazyjohnny - 01/06/2009 06:52 - United States

Today, I had a really big debate in my English Class about the legalization of weed. My group had to state reasons why weed shouldn't be legal and no one except me had prepared. My partner came to class totally stoned. Our group lost the debate. We got a F. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 371

You deserved it 7 980

By Annomymous - 23/01/2015 18:12 - United States - Clarkston

Today, my asshat roommate tricked me into eating a weed brownie. I thought it was his terrible attempt at baking regular brownies until it kicked in at college. I was so high, I started giggling like a schoolgirl when my instructor said "Dickens". Now everyone thinks I'm a retard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 888

You deserved it 4 894

High times

By Anonymous - 23/01/2016 10:09 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I had to give a joint presentation at college. My partner was so high, she couldn't even pronounce her own name properly in her introduction. I'm pretty sure her antics are going to get us both failed hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 035

You deserved it 1 635

What did you say?

By Anonymous - 25/07/2024 12:00 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, whenever I get into arguments, I end up mixing up words. I was trying to prove a point by saying a type of chips, and was debating between Dorito chips or BBQ chips. I ended up saying "burrito chips." I said my friend would "sell me out for a bag of burrito chips." FML

I agree, your life sucks 156

You deserved it 310

Hip cats

By :(( - 24/06/2012 21:45 - United States - Montevideo

Today, my parents felt the need to lecture me about how people who "smoke the reefer" are a "waste of life" and will never amount to anything. I was baked during the entire conversation, and actually ended up breaking down in tears, because I realized they were totally right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 065

You deserved it 50 985

By Anonymous - 16/08/2019 06:00

Today, I came home to my parents holding my marijuana. They told me that I had the stupidest hiding place ever, and that I was, "not only a pothead, but a dumbfuck pothead." FML

I agree, your life sucks 690

You deserved it 2 640

Grammar police alert

By Weekdae - 09/12/2020 09:01 - United States - Litchfield Park

Today, I found another comment online referencing, "Smoke weed everyday." With all due respect for smoking weed, when will people learn that "every" and "day" need to be two separate words in that context? This is seriously making it hard for me to focus on my work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 390

You deserved it 1 594

By mateyouremental - 21/12/2012 20:48 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I baked some regular brownies for my friend. Just to mess with him, after he ate some, I said they had weed in them. He trashed my room in anger, and still won't believe me when I tell him that I didn't actually slip him any drugs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 111

You deserved it 40 129

CryMoreFMLs 14

Saturday 7 May 2011 19:52

It happens to the... um... what was I saying... Damn, I forgot.

bonezisme 0

Saturday 7 May 2011 19:52

nice sounds like short term hit you bad

Comments

albertaboy 7

Saturday 7 May 2011 20:46

S.W.E.D.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SunDropGirl 0

Saturday 7 May 2011 20:46

I think you ment to say your stupid if you smoke weed... and indeed i'm sure it can't help but make it worse

RockstarRN 10

Saturday 7 May 2011 20:47

I can hear your brain cells dying from over hear!

benderbot19 0

Saturday 7 May 2011 20:51

from over WEAR?

RockstarRN 10

Saturday 7 May 2011 20:51

*here

benderbot19 0

Saturday 7 May 2011 20:53

just messin with ya :)

mk58 31

Saturday 7 May 2011 20:48

Yep, I'm very sad on the inside. I let it out by correcting people on FML and cutting the heads off my Cabbage doll collection.

tyler_420 0

Saturday 7 May 2011 20:49

that always happens to me.

t765234 10

Saturday 7 May 2011 20:52

95- I just cut heads off of babies, it lets out more sadness.

CooperLuvsYuh18 0

Saturday 7 May 2011 20:55

FAIL .

brianjman14 22

Saturday 7 May 2011 20:56

Damnit 32, I was gonna do the Dattebayo joke. :( And it's Naruto Uz(U)maki.

ant1078 7

Saturday 7 May 2011 20:56

can believe you remembered not remembering what you didn't remember

lovely_leahh 0

Saturday 7 May 2011 20:58

it also makes you depressedddd

Dionision 0

Saturday 7 May 2011 23:00

yes it can but most of the time it's because of some dick killing your buzz

budd28 0

Friday 8 July 2011 3:22

unfortunately yes... but I think some people can avoid it

Keywords

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The Top

Today, my ex-girlfriend from several years ago texted me. We were having a pleasant conversation until she asked me to give advice. Apparently, her current boyfriend is incapable of talking dirty, fingering, and other sexual aspects. She asked me to give him advice and pointers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 639

You deserved it 1 196

Today, my girlfriend reached into my pocket to get my keys so she could get something out of my car. When she yanked them out, the condom that we'd just used flew up into the air and landed on the floor in front of her entire family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 886

You deserved it 61 114

The Top

Today, after months of trying to make my girlfriend orgasm, she finally did. It was with my brother. I'll definitely knock next time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 834

You deserved it 1 603

Today, my dad went through all the trouble of sneaking onto my laptop and photoshopping a bong into my Facebook profile picture, apparently just so he could win a €20 bet with my mom, that hinged on her grounding me by December. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 710

You deserved it 1 738

Today, I’m stuck on a date with a man who got ready by washing his car instead of showering, is proud to never read newspapers because “they lie”, and thinks racist jokes count as witty conversation. I’d have left already but he drove me, there’s no bus stop nearby, and no Ubers in the area. FML

I agree, your life sucks 437

You deserved it 140

Today, for the first time in my life, my dad said he was proud of me. It meant a lot to me, and I started tearing up. Noticing my emotion, he looked at me pityingly, said "Aaaaand it's gone." and walked out of the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 482

You deserved it 6 816

Today, I congratulated a bride standing in front of a church in a white dress. Turns out she'd been stood up at the altar. She thrashed me with her bouquet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 635

You deserved it 4 117

Today, I was walking a dog at the animal hospital where I work when it pooped out a rag-like object. I told the doctor, who told me to clean it off to see what it was. It was a rainbow-colored thong. We have to give it back to the owner when they pick their dog up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 954

You deserved it 3 238