Intimacy: Today, while I was waiting at a bus stop, a man stopped at the...

By mentallyscarred - 31/01/2011 09:34 - United States

Today, while I was waiting at a bus stop, a man stopped at the red light and smiled at me. I smiled back. He blew me a kiss and drove away, just as I realized he was masturbating behind the wheel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 161

You deserved it 4 709

When Christmas Ends Badly…
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Same thing different taste

By someoneneedsassistance - 24/04/2015 15:07 - United States - Woodford

Today, while driving, I saw a car pull over with its hazard lights on. I went to see if they needed help, only to see the guy was jerking off to something on his phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 346

You deserved it 4 028

By Anonymous - 29/03/2013 17:13 - United States - Lakeland

Today, while on the way to Florida for spring break, I pointed out to my mom a bright blue car in the rear-view mirror. As the car overtook us, we both got a horrifyingly detailed view of the driver jerking off her passenger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 863

You deserved it 5 266

By wench - 23/12/2010 20:39 - United States

Today, while driving, I idly started picking my nose. I looked over at the car next to me and saw a smoking hot guy from my school staring at me in disgust. He kept staring until I took a turn-off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 557

You deserved it 36 633

By Anonymous - 11/06/2012 20:30 - United States

Today, I got a new pair of glasses, and was driving home. While waiting at a stop sign, I noticed a homeless guy touching himself. He saw me, smiled and waved, and then continued. So much for my new eyesight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 659

You deserved it 2 805

By Noname - 08/02/2009 01:23 - United States

Today, after leaving a store I got stuck at a red light. A car pulled up next to me and there was a half retarded man jerking his junk at me. Nasty image burned into my corneas forever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 192

You deserved it 3 881

Cheeky

By Anonymous - 10/01/2023 08:00

Today, I was eating lunch in my car. There was a cute guy, also in his car, who kept smiling at me and winking with a cheeky grin. I considered giving him my number but his girlfriend suddenly sat up from having her head in his lap, wiping her mouth. He was getting a blowjob the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 325

You deserved it 315

By TheIrony - 19/07/2016 21:50 - United States

Today, while driving I saw a police car riding along next to me. Thinking about the news recently, I decided to give him a quick thumbs up and a smile to lighten up his day. He looks back, smiles, flips on his siren, and pulls me over for not paying attention to the road. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 182

You deserved it 3 543

By WasteOfTime - 01/11/2009 14:36 - United Kingdom

Today, as I stopped at a traffic light, I noticed the man in the car next to me break out in laughter. I pulled over later on to see that someone had drawn a large penis on the side of my van. I then spent all my morning cleaning it off. I went outside later only to see someone had redrawn it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 360

You deserved it 3 449

DUDE! WTF?

By imanidiot - 03/03/2009 06:29 - United States

Today, I'd been sat in traffic for about an hour. I've heard stories about people doing the dirty in their cars, and I never do anything risky so I thought, why not, I'll be here a while, no one can see me: I'll masturbate. Midway through, I heard a tap on my driver's window. It was a police officer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 265

You deserved it 152 451

By Anonymous - 25/10/2014 00:30 - Australia - Perth

Today, I was waiting at a traffic light next to an ice cream van. The man in it turned to me and winked, making sexual hand gestures. I felt my childhood die horribly as I watched. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 201

You deserved it 3 010

silversparkles4 5

Monday 31 January 2011 16:14

Take it as a compliment, you are pretty enough to ********** to.

jmac317 0

Monday 31 January 2011 16:14

thats hot

Comments

perdix 29

Monday 31 January 2011 16:24

You're lucky that you got off only being blown a kiss. You could have gotten shot as he got off.

coolkid_matt 11

Monday 31 January 2011 19:59

win :D

Cuselaxer22 0

Tuesday 20 March 2012 2:39

The creepy guy probably had good aim so she should have been extra cautious.

imrpowers 2

Monday 31 January 2011 16:24

thats not an FML! you're just attractive!

saleha97 4

Monday 31 January 2011 16:24

today, while i WAS..

Ldesu 0

Monday 31 January 2011 16:35

I wonder if both this FML's subject and the slow -witted client getting the most value out of his phone service in an unexpected way from an earlier FML were the same person...

Sathian 0

Monday 31 January 2011 16:37

You should offer help for a little....money.

wisericky 12

Monday 31 January 2011 16:50

maybe the fml is that he drove away, when the OP wanted some dick...

enoughgrace 4

Monday 31 January 2011 16:52

At least he came and went. I'm sure it's weird to semen do that. I mean, we can mass-debate this all we want but the fact is still erect that he did the blowing. She could probably only see his head, but I'm sure his plank stare said it all. What wood you do in this situation? Would you give him the shaft?

Sathian 0

Monday 31 January 2011 17:05

Win. Trollz or Doc will be here shortly. >_>

perdix 29

Monday 31 January 2011 17:48

enoughgrace, That's great, but you could have quit after "it's weird to semen do that." That was your epic wiñ, literally.

mintcar 9

Monday 31 January 2011 18:07

Wow, nice job. Nice job indeed.

dudeitsdanny 9

Monday 31 January 2011 18:41

You did a nice job, and I'ma let you finish, but DocBastard is the punniest FML user of all time.

enoughgrace 4

Monday 31 January 2011 19:05

yes, Doc is th best. I just do what I can, that's my load to bear.

TheUnhappyMouse 0

Monday 31 January 2011 21:29

So much pun ^_^

DocBastard 38

Tuesday 1 February 2011 4:59

Grace, I don't want to sound like a jerk or a whack job or a wanker, and I won't beat a dead horse, so I'll just say I'm very impressed. I was so white-knuckled with anticipation reading this comment, it made me want to abuse an animal. I just couldn't decide between choking a chicken or spanking a monkey. Aye, there's the rub! I'll leave it at that and five-finger shuffle out of here. I have to help my friend Jack with some stuff anyway.

enoughgrace 4

Tuesday 1 February 2011 22:14

nice

kasumii 1

Monday 31 January 2011 17:07

You spelled realise wrong. At least someone from UK or Australia etc should say that, since Americans are always correcting their spelling and they should just return the lovely favor.

kasumii 1

Monday 31 January 2011 19:26

Try telling that to Americans you fucktard.

Sirin_fml 46

Monday 31 January 2011 19:50

Never heard of tourists or expatriates then, I take it?

kasumii 1

Monday 31 January 2011 23:41

You people seriously don't know shit. It's always the British who get their spelling corrected by Americans. To be fair someone should return the favor? Or you Americans are so stuck-up you're the only ones allowed to do corrections? I see.

Doortje 29

Tuesday 1 February 2011 0:26

It's ******* stupid anyway, whether it's Americans telling British people realise is wrong, or Brits telling American people realize is wrong. It's stupid, ignorant and annoying. Obviously you think so too. So I don't get why you'd "return the favour".

cheeksMcgeeks 3

Tuesday 1 February 2011 0:50

realize, theatre, favourite, skilful, enrolment, criticise, learnt, colour, leapt, centre... HoW dO yOu LiKe Me NoW HuUuUuUuUuuh?

funktown 2

Tuesday 1 February 2011 2:01

there's 2 ways to spell learnt?

kasumii 1

Tuesday 1 February 2011 2:17

#59, you've obviously never heard of sarcasm. -facepalm-

Doortje 29

Tuesday 1 February 2011 2:24

Sure, I've never heard of it :') If those comments were meant to be sarcastic it looks like there were more people who didn't get it considering the thumbs down.

cheeksMcgeeks 3

Tuesday 1 February 2011 4:59

Yea there's learned vs learnt.

sarcdude 3

Tuesday 1 February 2011 6:22

"cockweasel?" wtf, bloodstorm invents "d*ckt*ts," and several... "unsavory sites" have invented words like "c*ckmeat." where in the bloody (and I'm not even English!) freakin' HELL are you people coming up with these words?!!

sarcdude 3

Wednesday 2 February 2011 22:46

I meant "bulletstorm" not bloodstorm.

lacrossekid 0

Monday 31 January 2011 17:17

hey now he coulda got you With a drive by facial !!

furburger 0

Monday 31 January 2011 17:33

Given the facts presented, I believe the man was driving a car with an automatic transmission. It wood be too hard to operate a stick and your dick while blowing a kiss and driving away. Trust me.