Intimacy: Today, while in the middle of giving my husband a blow job, I... - FML

By suffersecks - 20/01/2012 23:54 - United States

Spicy

Today, while in the middle of giving my husband a blow job, I looked up to see him staring into space and vigorously picking his nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 650

You deserved it 6 200

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Same thing different taste

By blushingbride - 09/02/2014 21:59 - United States - Alpharetta

Today, my husband decided to pick his nose out before he would kiss me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 368

You deserved it 4 455

By spaceavery - 24/09/2016 04:53 - United States - Gresham

Spicy

Today, I was having amazing sex with my husband. When he blew his load, he also blew something else - a giant glob of snot, directly at my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 265

You deserved it 1 578

By C0r1nn3 - 07/06/2012 04:02 - United States - Santa Clara

Spicy

Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend in bed after a round of amazing sex. He decided it would be a great time to stick his finger up my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 846

You deserved it 5 090

By Maria - 14/03/2017 15:00 - United Kingdom - York

Today, my boyfriend had his arm around me. He pulled me closer, so I looked up, thinking maybe he wanted a kiss. Turns out he was picking his nose over my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 663

You deserved it 404

By Anonymous - 17/08/2012 13:31 - United States - Newberry

Spicy

Today, I was talking to my husband about how I wanted our marriage to improve and not just be sex all the time. In the middle of my sentence, he asked for a blow job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 424

You deserved it 6 884

By Qwerty - 28/06/2011 16:10 - Australia

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend trying to pick my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 993

You deserved it 5 285

By unattractive - 18/12/2010 09:32 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend asked me to pick his nose for him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 540

You deserved it 6 364

Surprise !

By snottyface - 26/09/2009 03:47 - United States

Today, I was trying to sneak up my husband while he was playing a computer game. As I was getting behind the chair, he paused the game and sat up straight. I stopped. He turned around and sneezed violently and blew a bunch of snot into my face and eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 800

You deserved it 19 476

By eeewww - 21/11/2018 03:13

Spicy

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend and he ejaculated without warning, shooting straight up my nostril. I accidentally snorted it, started choking, and then coughed it up in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 463

You deserved it 803

Underperforming

By ThatIsNotIt - 24/01/2021 04:02 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, having regularly given my husband blowjobs, I suggested, mid-session, that he could maybe reciprocate. He complained that I was wet, begrudgingly licked for about a minute and then gave up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 430

You deserved it 183

Next

Top comments

Savra_fml 17

Saturday 21 January 2012 1:50

First he puts on dirty underwear after a shower, and now this! Stop giving head OP!

nick347b 6

Saturday 21 January 2012 1:50

He's enjoying it. Trust me, I'm a guy.

Comments

kennedy98 2

Saturday 21 January 2012 3:10

Suck harder lol

EmperorXing 0

Saturday 21 January 2012 3:11

Hes trying to find something better

tmd4L 7

Saturday 21 January 2012 3:23

Did he shoot his snot rocket?

zombicidal 11

Saturday 21 January 2012 3:27

better mining nose gold than a golden shower

loopmeinoddone 0

Saturday 21 January 2012 3:27

Divorce.

xXRazelleLuniiXx 9

Saturday 21 January 2012 5:48

People like you are the reason why marraiges seem to fail now-a-days.

Endless_time 4

Saturday 21 January 2012 3:31

Picking his nose....or digging for gold...?

RrLSf19 0

Saturday 21 January 2012 3:49

Eww

BostonBruinsFan 8

Saturday 21 January 2012 4:32

Your dog is awesome!!

geod69 8

Saturday 21 January 2012 3:50

What else is he suppose to do with his finger

gregkingsley 4

Saturday 21 January 2012 3:59

Lol

BostonBruinsFan 8

Saturday 21 January 2012 4:00

#75, she sucks so much, that he's checking to see if there is any brains left. (husband says)"Oh, can't find it! I can't find it! No, wait, there it is! My pea-sized brain is intact, and safe. Ok, Keep sucking, Honey!!!"! -.-

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Keywords

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The Top

Today, my nosey louse of a coworker went to HR and told them I was snorting drugs at my desk. I was using nasal saline, as the dry winter weather wreaks havoc on my sinuses. The fact that they even brought me in pisses me off beyond words. FML

I agree, your life sucks 479

You deserved it 78

Today, I'm exhausted and sore from a long night of pulling semis out of the snow. My wife is pissed because I want to sleep, instead of be with her. Every time I drift off, she starts doing things like loudly unloading the dishwasher or standing by our bedroom door talking loudly on the phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 495

You deserved it 90

The Top

Today, I punished my new dog for taking a shit inside by putting him in the kennel. He punished me by breaking out of the kennel and destroying everything in my house. Including Christmas presents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 229

You deserved it 3 376

Today, my little sister started freaking out, because she was playing with some white-out eraser and got some on her finger. She started crying inconsolably because she thought her entire finger was going to disappear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 455

You deserved it 4 535

Today, while at a hospital, a prayer group circled me and started praying that God and the good doctors and nurses would heal me from the disease that disfigured my face. I was there to visit my sick grandmother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 462

You deserved it 3 637

Today, my girlfriend asked why we weren't married yet. I guess I don't find her alcoholism, lack of income, constant insults, references to cheating, and general entitlement behaviour very wifey material. FML

I agree, your life sucks 337

You deserved it 1 148

Today, I was scolding my 8 year-old son because he was getting bad grades in school. I told him that he should get straight "A"s like his friend Ceejay. He told me that comparing him to Ceejay was unfair. When I asked why, he said, "Because his dad is actually smart." FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 915

You deserved it 66 565

Today, I was feeling ill when I woke up. While on the bus to work, I threw up into a plastic cup. I had to sit for half an hour holding an open, very full, warm cup of vomit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 763

You deserved it 575