Work: Today, while on my graveyard shift at an inner-city backpackers...

By underachiever - 20/02/2010 07:29 - Australia

Today, while on my graveyard shift at an inner-city backpackers lodge, a drunk pissed in a dorm at 4am. I had to clean up after him, wash all the luggage that got dowsed, clean up 2 separate piles of puke, and help 3 drunken Brits back to their room while they abused me. I have a science degree. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 023

You deserved it 3 945

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
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College life

By Anonymous - 01/11/2009 11:33 - Germany

Today, I arrived in my dorm at 3 am to find my roommate passed out and a nauseating stench. While I was gone, he got drunk and puked all over the walls, carpet, and both beds. His inebriated attempt to clean up the mess consisted of smearing his vomit everywhere with my shower robe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 990

You deserved it 2 363

By Erik Aleckson - 05/05/2019 02:00

Today, at my hotel job, I had to help a drunk naked guy back into his room. Earlier today, a fat old guy wearing only briefs came down to the lobby drunk as hell. I used to like my job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 870

You deserved it 136

Partaaaaay!

By Anonymous - 18/07/2013 18:16 - Canada - Kelowna

Today, I woke up after passing out at a very small house party. I'd set a three drink limit, but apparently nobody listened, because there were beer cans everywhere, half my stuff was on the floor, and someone had shat in my bathtub. I had to clean all of it up alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 128

You deserved it 46 983

Stress factor 11

By Jonoq - 04/10/2019 16:00 - Canada

Today, in a 2-hour period at work, I had to talk to the cops, clean up shit and clean up vomit, yet none of these events were related. The worst part is, I work as a lifeguard and none of this is in the job description. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 483

You deserved it 126

Live Laugh Love

By ihatewalmart - 29/06/2012 23:12 - United States

Today, while at work, I saw a kid empty his bladder all over the floor. His mother walked over, looked at me, said, "Yep… that just happened," and dragged him away. I'm a 30-year-old man, four credits shy of a Master's, stuck cleaning up piss at a dead-end job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 059

You deserved it 3 210

By goldenshower - 05/02/2010 18:22 - United States

Today, I woke up at a guy's house drunk and soaked in my own pee. I had passed out with all my clothes on. Since I was late for work and didn't have a change of clothes, all I could do was throw my jeans in the dryer. I had to sit all day at work in crusty pee pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 499

You deserved it 56 515

By pukeytimes - 10/04/2015 23:03 - Australia - Leichhardt

Today, I decided to do a good bit of spring cleaning. When my apartment was finally spotless I went to lie down. I woke up later to find my drunk flatmate passed out in a puddle of her own puke on the living room's carpet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 842

You deserved it 2 260

By what the fuck, mate - 30/09/2012 19:00 - Australia

Today, I started working my crappy, minimum-wage retail job at a local electronics store. An hour into my shift, my boss sent me to scrub out a discount bin, after some drunk cunt in his teens staggered into the place yelling, and puked his guts into it. What a life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 454

You deserved it 2 573

Book him!

By Anonymous - 14/10/2010 13:42 - Reserved

Today, there were reports of a drunk and disorderly male, and I arrived at the scene only to discover a drunk guy having explosive diarrhoea in a photo booth. He turned to me and shouted "God save the Queen!" It's then that I remembered it was my job to do something about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 764

You deserved it 3 517

By sma93 - 17/12/2016 18:30 - United States - Baldwin

Today, after my work's Christmas party, everyone got so drunk that I had to help one of my only sober co-workers take everyone home and clean up vomit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 720

You deserved it 587

jasonsaied 1

Sunday 21 February 2010 5:03

where the hell do you guys see unconscious poms?

repyourcliche 0

Saturday 20 February 2010 16:19

oh god, i read "unconscious poms" as "unicorn ****"...

Comments

sportsnut 0

Saturday 20 February 2010 21:41

if you can't say something like "a chemistry" degree, then you went to school and got the much easier and significantly less desirable sociology, psychology, ecology, or similar degree. YDI for taking the easy way out while trying to claim to be smart

Ajjas013 6

Saturday 20 February 2010 22:04

That's why you kill 'em first. Nothing like the feeling of ******* a lifeless animal body :)

Ajjas013 6

Saturday 20 February 2010 22:27

In the meantime, please enjoy this pre-taped video of an odd man dry-humping an inflatable walrus!

grimspook76 0

Saturday 20 February 2010 23:02

So get a ******* science job!

erjaguam 0

Saturday 20 February 2010 23:17

go do some job hunting, op.

Shokz992 0

Saturday 20 February 2010 23:24

We Grammar Nazis only really care about people getting your and you're wrong... And maybe there, their and they're... And possibly then and than... But that's it, okay? D:

GiganTronic 0

Sunday 21 February 2010 0:18

Worse*, beat* and you forgot to capitalize bad and can't. Ha. Grammar powers, activate! *Flies away*

KiwiBlam 4

Sunday 21 February 2010 0:22

YDI for not realising that the only thing you can do with a science degree is become a high school teacher. Oh, and on the note of Kiwis & Aussies being discriminated against for our use of the English language, what is up the red squiggly "YOUSPELTTHISWORDWRONG!!!" line under "realising" as I am typing this?? Do I really have to spell it the horribly American way of "realizing"??

Shokz992 0

Sunday 21 February 2010 0:59

Capitalise* English Grammar Nazi, away! :D

corme_fml 0

Sunday 21 February 2010 1:21

The science degree has nothing to do with this. "I cleaned up some guys piss today at work. I'm wearing red shoes. FML."

fagotron 0

Saturday 3 April 2010 20:01

What he's trying to say is that he went to college and worked to get a degree, and instead of having a creditable job, he cleans up other people's puke at 4 in the morning, just because you're an idiot who likes to talk about your shoes, doesn't mean that what he said didn't make any sense