Work: Today, while on my graveyard shift at an inner-city backpackers...

By underachiever - 20/02/2010 07:29 - Australia

Today, while on my graveyard shift at an inner-city backpackers lodge, a drunk pissed in a dorm at 4am. I had to clean up after him, wash all the luggage that got dowsed, clean up 2 separate piles of puke, and help 3 drunken Brits back to their room while they abused me. I have a science degree. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 023

You deserved it 3 945

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

College life

By Anonymous - 01/11/2009 11:33 - Germany

Today, I arrived in my dorm at 3 am to find my roommate passed out and a nauseating stench. While I was gone, he got drunk and puked all over the walls, carpet, and both beds. His inebriated attempt to clean up the mess consisted of smearing his vomit everywhere with my shower robe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 990

You deserved it 2 363

By Erik Aleckson - 05/05/2019 02:00

Today, at my hotel job, I had to help a drunk naked guy back into his room. Earlier today, a fat old guy wearing only briefs came down to the lobby drunk as hell. I used to like my job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 870

You deserved it 136

Partaaaaay!

By Anonymous - 18/07/2013 18:16 - Canada - Kelowna

Today, I woke up after passing out at a very small house party. I'd set a three drink limit, but apparently nobody listened, because there were beer cans everywhere, half my stuff was on the floor, and someone had shat in my bathtub. I had to clean all of it up alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 128

You deserved it 46 983

Stress factor 11

By Jonoq - 04/10/2019 16:00 - Canada

Today, in a 2-hour period at work, I had to talk to the cops, clean up shit and clean up vomit, yet none of these events were related. The worst part is, I work as a lifeguard and none of this is in the job description. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 483

You deserved it 126

Live Laugh Love

By ihatewalmart - 29/06/2012 23:12 - United States

Today, while at work, I saw a kid empty his bladder all over the floor. His mother walked over, looked at me, said, "Yep… that just happened," and dragged him away. I'm a 30-year-old man, four credits shy of a Master's, stuck cleaning up piss at a dead-end job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 059

You deserved it 3 210

By goldenshower - 05/02/2010 18:22 - United States

Today, I woke up at a guy's house drunk and soaked in my own pee. I had passed out with all my clothes on. Since I was late for work and didn't have a change of clothes, all I could do was throw my jeans in the dryer. I had to sit all day at work in crusty pee pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 499

You deserved it 56 515

By pukeytimes - 10/04/2015 23:03 - Australia - Leichhardt

Today, I decided to do a good bit of spring cleaning. When my apartment was finally spotless I went to lie down. I woke up later to find my drunk flatmate passed out in a puddle of her own puke on the living room's carpet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 842

You deserved it 2 260

By what the fuck, mate - 30/09/2012 19:00 - Australia

Today, I started working my crappy, minimum-wage retail job at a local electronics store. An hour into my shift, my boss sent me to scrub out a discount bin, after some drunk cunt in his teens staggered into the place yelling, and puked his guts into it. What a life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 454

You deserved it 2 573

Book him!

By Anonymous - 14/10/2010 13:42 - Reserved

Today, there were reports of a drunk and disorderly male, and I arrived at the scene only to discover a drunk guy having explosive diarrhoea in a photo booth. He turned to me and shouted "God save the Queen!" It's then that I remembered it was my job to do something about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 764

You deserved it 3 517

By sma93 - 17/12/2016 18:30 - United States - Baldwin

Today, after my work's Christmas party, everyone got so drunk that I had to help one of my only sober co-workers take everyone home and clean up vomit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 720

You deserved it 587

jasonsaied 1

Sunday 21 February 2010 5:03

where the hell do you guys see unconscious poms?

repyourcliche 0

Saturday 20 February 2010 16:19

oh god, i read "unconscious poms" as "unicorn ****"...

Comments

KurouTenshi 0

Saturday 20 February 2010 17:09

you should hook up with the guy who can use semi colons like a pro :D y'all seem to have a good deal in common ^^

thatssomeBS 9

Saturday 20 February 2010 17:24

YDI for taking that job... hold-out for a good job with that degree.

Archangel12 9

Thursday 18 June 2015 4:02

Yep, how dare somebody decide to work rather than sitting around job-hunting while unemployed.

Pearljammer001 0

Saturday 20 February 2010 17:27

ugh you are right 34 now I feel stupid. btw I'm on an iPod so the text is amazingly small.

The_Disturbed 5

Saturday 20 February 2010 18:19

That's ok :) even at normal size it can be a bit of a pain to read...I had to look twice before I noticed it said pom instead of **** :P lol. Just thought I'd make it a bit clearer :P

Enoch134 0

Saturday 20 February 2010 17:28

I want to be in ur pants 0.o lol jk I want to be a sugeon

Pearljammer001 0

Saturday 20 February 2010 17:33

btw sorry about that. damn tiny text >.<

caittycat95 0

Saturday 20 February 2010 17:41

agreed.

lancer126 0

Saturday 20 February 2010 17:37

if u have a science degree y u working there when u could be doin some science shit

FUDGELOVESME 0

Saturday 20 February 2010 17:44

y don't you just get a new job ydi

IAMLALA 0

Saturday 20 February 2010 17:52

go collegeeeeee. sure gets you somewhere.

GiganTronic 0

Sunday 21 February 2010 0:26

Science degree=WENT TO COLLEGE. Thinking fail? Making connections fail? I dunno, something fail.

abes22 0

Monday 4 October 2010 16:57

science is a useless degree, you have to do something postgraduate or a more specialized degree to get somewhere

_WhatTheFuck_ 5

Saturday 20 February 2010 17:57

Brits are assholes, everybody knows that.

Sirin_fml 46

Saturday 20 February 2010 18:04

Oh yes, most certainly.

letmeinplease 0

Saturday 20 February 2010 18:01

This makes me LOL for all the smug comments made by science graduates whenever an arts grad makes this kind of FML. Yeah, the world may not need all off it's Etruscan Pottery Majors or World Music degrees, but it also has it's share of scientists doing the most godawful pointless research on unlimited funding. OP, if you're good at science, then do something useful with it. If you're not, don't. Just don't. Cause there's only so many times that I need to hear stories like 'Scientists have discovered the perfect formula for beans on toast' etc, whilst my research into Genocide Prevention and Recovery goes up the swanny for lack of funding.