Work: Today, while on patrol with my partner, we came across a guy...

By dunno why we bother - 31/03/2014 20:07 - United States - Tampa

Today, while on patrol with my partner, we came across a guy getting a beat-down on the sidewalk. After restraining the attacker, we helped the victim to his feet, only for him to spit at us and call us "goddamn pigs". You're welcome, sir. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 319

You deserved it 4 525

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Undercover - 12/10/2009 08:38 - United States

Today, while working as a plain clothes police officer, I witnessed a fight in a front yard. My partner and I intervened and clearly identified ourselves as police. Unfortunately, the two guys' mother didn't have her hearing aid in, and hit my arm with a baseball bat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 659

You deserved it 4 426

Crusin' for a bruisin'

By burr415 - 20/04/2012 22:55 - Sweden - Hägersten

Today, my friend was waiting outside the store while I bought a newspaper. Through the window, I saw two guys getting physical with him, so I went outside and they took off. I muttered, "Yeah, I thought so." They then turned around and beat the crap out of us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 660

You deserved it 26 442

Appropriate force

By Peppered and Zapped - 07/04/2020 05:00

Today, I'm recovering from being pepper-sprayed, beat with a baton and Tased, and arrested for assault. I'm a bouncer and was trying to remove a drunk asshole from the bar when the police showed up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 119

You deserved it 209

By sigh - 27/09/2013 19:01 - United States - Frederick

Today, I was cleaning up litter from the street, when a guy asked who I work for. I said nobody and that I was just doing some community service. Before I could clarify that it was voluntary community service, he called me a "piece of shit delinquent", spat on me, and walked off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 072

You deserved it 3 328

No good deed…

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - Netherlands

Today, someone was getting beat up by 6 guys. When I tried to help, they had a swing at me as well. The cops came when I was enthusiastically defending myself. They got away, I got arrested. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 120

You deserved it 4 281

By hook me up with some smack, Jack - 01/08/2015 06:18 - Australia - Perth

Today, I, along with two cops and another paramedic, had to fight to pin down some total scumsucker. He was high out of his mind on god knows what, in his underwear, screaming like a maniac outside someone else's house at 2 in the morning. I don't get paid nearly enough for this shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 624

You deserved it 2 897

By shenmas - 08/07/2018 19:00

Today, while I was out walking with my girlfriend, I got beaten up and called an "abuser" by a gang of women who noticed bruises on my girlfriend's arms and legs. The bruises are from her karate class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 356

You deserved it 264

Captain Badass

By NotAsToughAsHeThinks - 14/02/2011 03:25 - United States

Today, a man pulled me violently into an alleyway and informed me I was being mugged. Being a body-builder, I said, "Oh yeah? Go on then." He kicked my ass in a matter of seconds, stole my wallet, then farted on my bruised face. He called me a wimp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 161

You deserved it 54 041

Shorty

By Anonymous - 07/09/2020 13:01 - United Kingdom

Today, on my first day as a community support officer, a 7-foot meathead in the middle of a domestic argument told me to “piss off shorty”, and when I asked him not to swear at me, he picked me up one-handed and threw me in a builder's skip full of mud and wet cement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 558

You deserved it 350

Public freakout

By selfdefense - 12/10/2009 04:16 - United Kingdom

Today, a customer at work became violent and started hitting me and my coworker. Not wanting him to get the shit beat out of us, I used a move that pinned the guy on the ground. The police came and he was arrested. I was then fired for assaulting a customer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 690

You deserved it 2 574

juan3611 14

Tuesday 1 April 2014 1:20

This is why we can't have nice things.

Malfurious 17

Tuesday 1 April 2014 1:23

Some people don't deserve the decency extended by others - it's good to know there are decent people like you guys looking out for others.

Comments

martin8337 35

Tuesday 1 April 2014 4:45

Some people have no sense of gratitude.

Blade52560 6

Tuesday 1 April 2014 4:54

No wonder he got beat..

alicat13 12

Tuesday 1 April 2014 5:04

That is when you take them to the station for public violence and leave them in the same cell to cool off :-)

sashakotlik 14

Tuesday 1 April 2014 5:08

#26- why would you call the police on your brother??

slyde32 12

Tuesday 1 April 2014 5:21

he already stated that in his comment, his brother hit him, for police to be called I'd say his bother is quite violent, maybe try reading the full comment.

PIGaming 21

Tuesday 1 April 2014 5:23

#53, hitting someone, no matter who they are, is assault and unacceptable. Personally, I once push my step-mother out of my bedroom (she wasnt hurt and didnt fall) but in fact it was an assault, and only recently have I realised the wrong of unlawfully making contact with anyone. Including family.

worldclassrager 39

Tuesday 1 April 2014 5:32

Some people well never respect cops...I would have been greatful

carbonbasedcynic 17

Tuesday 1 April 2014 5:42

I would've arrested the attacker for letting me stop him

jazzy_123 20

Tuesday 1 April 2014 7:38

I'm a SHE thank you haha. idc if he's my brother, he never acts like one anyway and I'm not gonna let violence slide just because of that. My bf wanted to kick his ass but I wouldn't allow it so I at least had some mercy on him and saved him from a good beating.

PIGaming 21

Tuesday 1 April 2014 8:13

#61, what your saying is that it unexceptable for you brother to hit you, but completely ok for you boyfriend to bash your brother? You no-longer have my sympathy you hypocrite.