Miscellaneous: Today, while on the bus, the guy sitting beside me let out the...

By methane overload - 19/01/2013 01:32 - United States

Today, while on the bus, the guy sitting beside me let out the vilest and most nauseating fart I've ever encountered, the kind that could retroactively sterilize five generations of one's ancestors with the smell alone. As I gagged, he smirked and said, "That's Taco Bell for ya." FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 219

You deserved it 3 833

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 07/12/2010 04:53 - United States

Today, while sitting on the bus a stranger sat next to me, farted, put his hand under his butt to smell what it was like, and then sniffed it throughout the whole ride while glancing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 111

You deserved it 2 563

By Anonymous - 05/04/2014 04:04 - United States - Albuquerque

Today, while in line at my local bakery, an old man passed wind in front of me. The smell was like nothing I've ever experienced before. I managed to withstand it, but the child behind me could not, and spewed orange vomit all over my back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 767

You deserved it 3 435

By scarlet - 09/05/2011 15:02 - Canada

Today, on the bus, a large smelly man was sat next to me, pushing me against the divider and sliding into me on every turn. When he got up for his stop, his pants had loosened and his bare ass was staring me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 897

You deserved it 3 413

Stealth dog

By Anonymous - 02/06/2020 02:00

Today, while I was sitting in a waiting room to be seen, my service dog (who was tucked under the bench I was sitting) let out the most vile, silent but deadly fart. The person near me retched and heaved, and I got death glares while someone sprayed their old lady perfume to mask the smell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 609

You deserved it 240

He who smelled it…

By Anonymous - 31/01/2015 15:08 - United States - Venus

Today, my boss let me sit in on a board meeting. It was awesome until the guy next to me let out a vile fart, then looked at me in disgust, causing the others to look at me in disgust too. When I told my boss what really happened, he told me to grow up and stop blaming the other guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 060

You deserved it 2 708

By Anonymous - 05/06/2011 20:45 - United States

Today, I was in the elevator with my boss when I accidentally let rip the vilest, most horrifying fart of my life as we left the first floor. We stood in silence as the elevator slowly ascended to the 21st floor, leaving us to marinate in the fumes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 409

You deserved it 46 352

By Anonymous - 10/02/2011 23:32 - United States

Today, I was on the bus heading home from school, when I noticed a ridiculously hot girl near me, checking me out. I was about to say something charmingly funny when I suddenly got a whiff of onions. Turns out she had turned around simply to catch the essence of her own fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 149

You deserved it 4 797

Perfume Allergy Man strikes again!

By Lor - 09/10/2019 06:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, a woman got on the bus wearing extremely strong perfume and sat in the seat in front of me. The gentleman I was sitting next to began violently sneezing, so much so that he eventually sneeze-vomited all over my lap and backpack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 843

You deserved it 172

By eewww - 06/05/2011 15:47 - United Kingdom

Today, I took a 40 minute bus ride home from work. The first 20 minutes were spent listening to the drunk man behind me moan uncontrollably and belch. The last 20 minutes were spent trying to ignore the vomit he left on my back as he got up to leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 789

You deserved it 3 708

By Anonymous - 08/05/2015 13:51 - United States - Pottstown

Today, I thought it would be funny to fart next to my brother in the car. Apparently, his carsickness is exacerbated by strong smells. I now know what it feels like to have lap full of vomit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 638

You deserved it 38 971

DawnShadow_fml 5

Saturday 19 January 2013 5:08

I love this wording.

waterkins 7

Saturday 19 January 2013 5:07

Should have puked on him

Comments

ROSI3TH3CAT 18

Saturday 19 January 2013 6:00

JustPlayTheGame 6

Saturday 19 January 2013 6:17

FYL Op I laughed so loud reading this... Would of been great if I wasn't going into an exam hall :') made my day

TurquoiseJesus 15

Saturday 19 January 2013 6:29

About the same, I'd imagine.

j_cat187 19

Saturday 19 January 2013 6:30

Taco Bell: The quickest way to shit your pants.

Sputnikspak 13

Saturday 19 January 2013 6:41

Nope, pretty sure that's getting C-Difficile (I got that in the hospital in 2011, you honestly have zero warning, not even 'I think I might have to fart' - you can get it from being on strong antibiotics that nuke your gut flora), but it's definitely the SECOND fastest way.

TurquoiseJesus 15

Saturday 19 January 2013 6:32

I'm just gonna go on record saying that Taco Bell is delicious, regardless of the after effects. Just a pure ****** in the mouth.

j_cat187 19

Saturday 19 January 2013 6:33

Where you sitting next to fat bastard?

Bigger_than_Jesu 5

Saturday 19 January 2013 6:52

Silent but publicly deadly. Stay classy transit.

MissMollie_85 12

Saturday 19 January 2013 6:53

don't worry, one day he will try it and follow through. then he can be the public face of taco bell, with a cool burgerking kids style nickname, 'skidz' perhaps? what happened to those darn kids anyway? ;)

alissa222 15

Saturday 19 January 2013 7:07

M h Z

alissa222 15

Saturday 19 January 2013 7:09

Shit sorry I didn't mean to comment/caught it too late to delete. Sorry bout that!

buckdharma 37

Saturday 19 January 2013 7:08

If it's silent the route, might be in doubt, methane but you made a long sound, and put them all down, methane You can't lie, you can't lie, you can't lie, methane If you're the bad news, cause you felt a ooze, methane When it rips out your buns, the damage is done, methane You can't lie, you can't lie, you can't lie, methane If your burrito is gone, and you wanna run on, methane Don't forget this fact, you can't get it back, methane you can't lie, you can't lie, you can't lie, methane