Transportation: Today, while riding in the car with my friends, we stopped at...

By Scarred - 04/09/2009 05:15 - United States

Today, while riding in the car with my friends, we stopped at a red light. To our left, a very obese, middle aged man slowly unbuttoned his shirt and spread it out. He then stared at us while massaging his nipples with his thumb and index fingers for the duration of the red light. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 987

You deserved it 5 661

When Christmas Ends Badly…
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Same thing different taste

By Noname - 08/02/2009 01:23 - United States

Today, after leaving a store I got stuck at a red light. A car pulled up next to me and there was a half retarded man jerking his junk at me. Nasty image burned into my corneas forever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 192

You deserved it 3 881

By bridezilla - 05/07/2009 04:12 - Canada

Today, I was on a train when an old man standing next to me very obviously checked me out, caught my eye, and winked. He spent the next five minutes rubbing his penis against my leg. When I turned to tell him off, the train lurched, and the old man fell face first into my breasts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 498

You deserved it 6 862

By scarlet - 09/05/2011 15:02 - Canada

Today, on the bus, a large smelly man was sat next to me, pushing me against the divider and sliding into me on every turn. When he got up for his stop, his pants had loosened and his bare ass was staring me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 897

You deserved it 3 413

By needanewride - 16/11/2012 02:40 - United States - Newton Center

Today, I took a crowded train home. I was holding on to the rail when an old man started rubbing his crotch across my hand. I moved my hand but he moved too and kept doing it. When I moved my hand higher, he started licking it. I had to wait ten minutes for the next stop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 300

You deserved it 3 316

By wench - 23/12/2010 20:39 - United States

Today, while driving, I idly started picking my nose. I looked over at the car next to me and saw a smoking hot guy from my school staring at me in disgust. He kept staring until I took a turn-off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 557

You deserved it 36 633

By Anonymous - 05/06/2009 20:54 - Denmark

Today, I was at a bar. A fat guy looks at me for a while and sits down next to me. He turns and I expect that he'll hit on me. He then buttons down his shirt, presses his man boobs together and say to his friends “Look, I’ve got bigger tits than than the girl next to me!" His friends agreed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 095

You deserved it 6 143

By iceman123432 - 02/09/2009 20:07 - United States

Today, when we were at wrestling practice, we had to bend over to stretch. When I bent down, I noticed a car on the street stopped. There was a sixty year old man watching us. He then licked his lips and drove away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 127

You deserved it 4 254

Moobs

By Anonymous - 30/06/2009 22:19 - United States

Today, I met with a friend who had gained some weight since I saw him last. After a friendly hug, I put my hand on his new man boob and, without thinking, left it there way too long. I realized that I was groping him and, in a panic, did the only thing I could think of. I patted it. Twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 009

You deserved it 54 701

By Anonymous - 26/08/2010 23:41 - United States

Today, I was riding the public bus and a really fat, smelly guy sat next to me. He put his arm around my shoulder and asked me if I was single. My stop wasn't for three more miles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 893

You deserved it 3 721

By Anonymous - 31/12/2012 07:58 - United States

Today, while helping out at a retirement home, I had to get a book off a bookshelf. When I reached up, my watch got stuck on my shirt, resulting in my shirt lifting up. I just flashed my man-boobs to at least 20 senior citizens, and one of them even asked if he could have a feel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 711

You deserved it 6 549

24788 6

Friday 4 September 2009 12:11

And people told me my reverse tinted windows were a bad idea...

Artanias 0

Friday 4 September 2009 12:15

Bwahahahahahaha, thats so awesome, the obese guy is instantly my favourite person in the world. Also FYL indeed, even if i think what the guy did is brilliant :P

Comments

glassisass 0

Friday 4 September 2009 12:18

thats not an fml. its really funny. quit quit being a baby about it. its not like he drugged you then had sex with your lifeless body. and you got AIDS. and your going to die in a month or something

cocacola999 27

Friday 4 September 2009 13:30

Umm.... By your definition this site has no true FML-s.

tangerine_12 0

Friday 4 September 2009 22:43

umm...yeah #11, this site is for people who have FUNNY mishaps every day, not completely TRAGIC stories. that would be about as interesting as MILA.

alyzandra 0

Friday 4 September 2009 12:23

How is this an FML? I wish someone other than the thirteen-year-old 'tards on here would start moderating these things properly. THIS IS NOT AN FML. That was merely a brief, awkward exchange with a creeper.

Khalavaster 0

Friday 4 September 2009 12:23

LMFAO. FYL

sonic1 0

Friday 4 September 2009 12:33

i find this extremely hilarious. i would have laughed to tears rather than felt the need to post on FML...

Mnemic 5

Friday 4 September 2009 12:52

Hahaha, have fun sleeping now without the mental image popping up... :-o After I read this I've a mental image of Fat Bastard from Austin Powers in my head... :-o 'So do you like me *******?'