Intimacy: Today, while sitting at a red light, my mother asked, "Do you...

By weirdedout - 24/05/2010 15:14 - United States

Today, while sitting at a red light, my mother asked, "Do you have any intimacy questions?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 662

You deserved it 5 250

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Same thing different taste

Inference

By Canuckboy - 24/06/2021 07:59 - Canada

Today, a few weeks after coming out to my parents, my mother randomly asked me, "Your father and I have tried anal sex a few times, but it hurts too much. D'you have any advice on what to do?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 531

You deserved it 399

Thanks mom

By Anonymous - 14/02/2021 14:01 - Colombia

Today, my mom decided it was a good idea to remind me about my non-existent sex life while all the family was having dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 032

You deserved it 107

By dpl - 19/02/2009 21:44 - United States

Today, my mom found a condom in my pocket while doing my laundry. Instead of having the subsequent discussion about the birds and the bees my mother simply asked "Who would have sex with you?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 576

You deserved it 5 634

By Anonymous - 10/07/2013 16:38 - United States - Spencer

Today, my 15-year-old birth daughter asked if I've ever had sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 482

You deserved it 8 345

Play it cool

By Fraser - 08/03/2012 19:03 - Canada

Today, my mother caught me masturbating. Trying to defuse the awkward tension, I said "Oh, I was just thinking about you!" Not a good idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 203

You deserved it 56 639

By Anonymous - 23/02/2012 20:25 - United States

Today, my mom tried to give me the sex talk, while I was mounting my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 817

You deserved it 37 518

Stop talking, stop talking now

By Anonymous - 14/06/2012 15:49 - United States

Today, I went out of town with my mother-in-law. I don't know what posessed her to start questioning me about her son's and my sex life. When I told her I wasn't talking about that, she began to dicuss her and my father-in-law's bedroom habits. The car ride was two hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 129

You deserved it 2 669

By Told_You_So - 09/07/2009 06:33 - United States

Today, I was in the car with my mom and dad. My mom turned around and asked, "Have you had sex yet?" I said no, which is true. My dad cracked up and said, "Told you so!" My mom frowned, took out her wallet, and handed him $20. My parents bet on my nonexistent sex life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 077

You deserved it 5 087

Issues

By Badkitty14 - 09/08/2012 20:16 - Canada - Mississauga

Today, in the middle of sex, my boyfriend asked me what he should get his mother for her birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 676

You deserved it 3 720

By TheMike23 - 11/01/2016 05:28 - United States - Winter Garden

Today, I went out with my mom to a restaurant. We were sitting down to eat, and a waitress walks over to our table and asks, "How are you ladies doing tonight?" It really was a nice thing to ask, for my mom. As for me, being a man, not so much. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 905

You deserved it 2 294

IWorkInAStore 0

Monday 24 May 2010 19:26

awwwwkwarrrrd, well, did you?

randomdude1234 0

Monday 24 May 2010 19:30

Mom? do you ever feel not so fresh... you know.... down there.

Comments

benners 0

Monday 24 May 2010 23:03

uuuummmmmmmmm wow, akward

mapleali 0

Monday 24 May 2010 23:07

well do you?

lemonlift 6

Monday 24 May 2010 23:07

hahaha.... that must have been really aquward!

HunnyLove 0

Monday 24 May 2010 23:32

...... akward.....

tommyd23 0

Monday 24 May 2010 23:34

No clue why this is an FML..

wowzaks 0

Monday 24 May 2010 23:53

awkward but not really an fml because she didn't do it in front of your friends or anything and she just did it once.

sw33th3art 3

Tuesday 25 May 2010 0:09

mom, you know when ur doin it and ur "stuff" farts, is that normal? lol

__rowena 0

Tuesday 25 May 2010 1:00

dang, that must have been uncomfortable.

ThatLooksSticky 16

Tuesday 25 May 2010 1:40

This FML would have been perfect if it ended with, "I'm 37."

Chaotonic 2

Tuesday 25 May 2010 1:42

You should have replied with "Why yes mom, why does it burn when I pee and these blisters keep re-occurring?" That would have been great.

Keywords

Work Accident Embarrassing Health Relatable LGBTQIA+ Annoying Love AITA Inappropriate Relationship advice My ex Animals Cats Cute Transportation Awkward Cars Friends Dogs Money Scams Kids Miscellaneous Drugs Family Public freakouts Intimacy Sex Cheating

The Top

Today, I felt like spicing up our marriage, so I thought I'd surprise my husband when he got home from work. I put on my sexiest teddy, lit some candles, and laid on the bed. He walked in the room, looked at me for a second, farted, then asked me what was for dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 295

You deserved it 4 746

Today, my new neighbours moved in. I've neither seen nor spoken to them yet; all I know is that they enjoy hammering at the walls for hours on end and repeatedly setting off the fire alarm. All this in the small hours of the morning. I got two hours of sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 449

You deserved it 2 080

The Top

Today, I found out that when my neighbors throw a party, it includes guests having sex in my garage, and relieving themselves on my lawn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 231

You deserved it 105

Today, I had to cancel a plane ticket to a friend's wedding, because first he gave me the wrong date, after which his fiancée cut me from the guests because of Covid safety. Instead of paying $600 to be in the ceremony, I'm paying $400 to not go anywhere because the ticket could only be partially refunded. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 044

You deserved it 105

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because we watched a movie that Taylor Lautner was in, she claims they made special eye contact and they are destined to be together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 722

You deserved it 5 031

Today, one of my workmates had threatened to destroy my car completely if I fired him for low performance. I was actually shocked, not because of the threat, but because I don't have a car of my own. I don't know how to drive, either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 918

You deserved it 108

Today, while stepping out of the shower, I slipped and cut my head. I went to the hospital, got 8 stitches and was tested for head trauma. After hours of ignoring my calls and texts, my girlfriend finally responded, very angrily. Why? Today is her birthday, and I "selfishly made it about me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 128

You deserved it 4 155

Today, I got a phone call letting me know my grandmother was arrested for trying to light my grandpa on fire. She's now in jail, asking for bail money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 995

You deserved it 1 570