Animals: Today, while sitting on my front porch, my cat came up beside...

By and god shat - 11/07/2014 23:38 - United States - Klamath Falls

Today, while sitting on my front porch, my cat came up beside me. I started idly stroking her, only to turn and realize I was petting a wild raccoon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 289

You deserved it 9 085

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Same thing different taste

Darwin smiled

By Ihateracoons - 06/09/2022 06:30

Today, I saw a raccoon family on my front porch. There were 3 little babies. Wanting to keep one as a pet, I scooped up one of the babies. The mother raccoon turned around, made a bizarre roaring, hissing sound, and attacked me. I’m currently in the ER covered in grass and scratches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 159

You deserved it 5 294

By Anonymous - 18/09/2010 06:31 - United States

Today, I was bringing the garbage cans inside and noticed one felt a little heavy. I opened it, only to find a raccoon. A very angry raccoon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 453

You deserved it 2 928

Smelly business

By skunkcat - 11/03/2020 21:00 - United States

Today, I was drunk in a hotel lobby with some of my cousins. I went out on the patio to get some fresh air when I saw a black cat in the bushes. I went straight over to it and started to pet it. I realized too late that the black cat was actually a skunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 581

You deserved it 1 737

By ambushcat - 06/07/2012 03:31 - United States

Today, I was messing with my cat by moving my hand around under the sheets to make it look like a mouse, making him pounce at it. Without thinking, I brought my hand up to scratch my nose and was immediately attacked by flailing claws. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 514

You deserved it 28 635

By anonymous - 13/09/2012 06:02 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I found an enormous raccoon in my backyard. After a couple of nasty scratches, I finally managed to capture the filthy animal. After calling animal control to relocate it, I waited for hours to learn that "relocating" actually means releasing it into my front yard 10 feet away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 787

You deserved it 4 662

Take care

By Buyingagun - 08/04/2020 05:00

Today, I looked out the window just in time to see a coyote carrying off my cat that I had just let outside five minutes before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 353

You deserved it 567

By catstew - 02/10/2009 01:43 - United States

Today, my mother's beloved cat died and we thought it would be nice to bury it in the back yard. I came home from work and while walking to the door saw that the cat had been dug up and partially eaten by the local raccoons and strays. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 140

You deserved it 4 446

By RaccoonFever - 10/01/2014 11:15 - United States - La Jolla

Today, I'm trapped in my apartment, due to the fact that five raccoons have decided to sit outside my only door and prevent me from getting out. Every time I look at one, they hiss at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 322

You deserved it 5 779

I'm not getting paid enough for this shit

By Username - 20/10/2010 18:08 - France

Today, at work, my boss made me spend a hour trying to catch a baby raccoon in the parking lot. I'm a bank teller. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 658

You deserved it 3 495

It's alive!

By notmyrealname123 - 25/08/2014 00:08 - Canada - Kitchener

Today, I found my cat downstairs with a squirrel dangling from his mouth. When I saw this, I yelled at my cat to put it down. He did. Turns out the squirrel was still alive and run. I had to spend the next three hours chasing it out of my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 726

You deserved it 6 430

gjikvtj 18

Saturday 12 July 2014 5:32

Hey, at least it didn't bite you

EverestMelting 23

Saturday 12 July 2014 5:32

"Come snuggle with momma!"

Comments

abc_1_2_3 12

Saturday 12 July 2014 5:35

Did you then catch it with your pokeball and take him along with you on your journey to become a pokemon master? No? Ok...

pickleonaraft 7

Saturday 12 July 2014 5:39

Plot twist: It was actually a zigzagoon.

gjikvtj 18

Saturday 12 July 2014 5:44

Plot twist: No

pickleonaraft 7

Saturday 12 July 2014 5:57

Plot twist: The raccoons are seeking your flesh for denying their fictional brethren.

gracehi 31

Saturday 12 July 2014 15:23

I had a zigzagoon! I loved him he was so cute! Then he evolved and now I don't like him as much anymore. :(

hannah_cheers 30

Saturday 12 July 2014 5:35

It could've been worse. It could've bit you.

jriley4u 17

Saturday 12 July 2014 5:39

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

crapmaster3000 19

Saturday 12 July 2014 5:41

Good thing it didn't bite you raccoons who are out in the daylight usually have rabies.

thevelociraptor 31

Saturday 12 July 2014 9:37

Because raccoons magically get rabies from the sun and then the moon cures them...?

Ahjuju223 2

Saturday 12 July 2014 11:28

Actually, #19 is right. Almost all animals that have rabies come out in day, (saying they are night animals by nature), because the rabies makes them the opposite of themselves. Some don't eat/drink, become vicious (like dogs or cats) or lose their fear of humans.

gracehi 31

Saturday 12 July 2014 15:25

I was thinking that the raccoon might have rabies too. But if it does, why didn't it bite OP? Most strange.

rocker_chick23 27

Saturday 12 July 2014 16:17

Depends on where OP lives. I live near the Adirondack mountains and it's not uncommon to see a raccoon running across my lawn to get back to the forest. I have seen opossums, foxes, and skunks do it too.