By JEHR - 07/10/2016 07:21 - Canada - Prince George
I agree, your life sucks
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You deserved it
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JEHR tells us more.
OP here to answer some of your burning questions. Really, FML for all involved, but the crown goes to the dog. He isn’t butthurt about it anymore. I watched for blood and any signs of pain in his next stool because I know what sharp, jabby appendages toddler fingers are and it was like any other shit. He also received boiled chicken breast to alleviate the emotional trauma and a lot of praise for his stand-up response to the whole shit show. To clarify a few others and add some detail: 1. No one got bit. I’ve got a hell of a bombproof dog and he and the kid are tight. He did leap like a gazelle though. Fair to say he was surprised. 2. Wet wipes are a parent’s best friend. Too bad I only had spit and a Kleenex. 3. The amateur veterinarian’s diagnosis was ‘stinky.’ And he wasn’t very happy about it. 4. I don’t know if some people are aware but toddlers tend to throw high emotion, physically aggressive tantrums because they are developmentally limited in their ability to appreciate consequences, exercise restraint, and use non-physical methods to express themselves, especially when upset. It’s normal, he’s two, that’s what they do. 5. This was his first anal offense although he’s previously expressed interest in the brown hole that he’s not allowed to touch ever since he came to be eye level with it. He really had no appreciation of what he was doing and how it would affect the dog. 6. But yes, he did receive ‘discipline’ in the form of a calm, firm reprimand for acting in violence and, when he calmed down enough, a limited discussion of appropriate behaviour and a teachable moment where he came to understand that he had hurt our dog. Little guy was upset by it and apologetic. It went way better than anticipated. 7. People who think children suck for reasons such as this undervalue the insane mileage I’m going to get out of this one for years to come. 8. He’s a really awesome kid with a good heart, but human (surprise). I’m actually pretty sad Trip didn’t add anything but #14 gave me a laugh. I also don't know what he's going to be a 'social path' quite means, but I'm alright if he turns out extroverted.
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that poor poor dog. I bet it was very surprised.
your kid has problems.
OP here to answer some of your burning questions. Really, FML for all involved, but the crown goes to the dog. He isn’t butthurt about it anymore. I watched for blood and any signs of pain in his next stool because I know what sharp, jabby appendages toddler fingers are and it was like any other shit. He also received boiled chicken breast to alleviate the emotional trauma and a lot of praise for his stand-up response to the whole shit show. To clarify a few others and add some detail: 1. No one got bit. I’ve got a hell of a bombproof dog and he and the kid are tight. He did leap like a gazelle though. Fair to say he was surprised. 2. Wet wipes are a parent’s best friend. Too bad I only had spit and a Kleenex. 3. The amateur veterinarian’s diagnosis was ‘stinky.’ And he wasn’t very happy about it. 4. I don’t know if some people are aware but toddlers tend to throw high emotion, physically aggressive tantrums because they are developmentally limited in their ability to appreciate consequences, exercise restraint, and use non-physical methods to express themselves, especially when upset. It’s normal, he’s two, that’s what they do. 5. This was his first anal offense although he’s previously expressed interest in the brown hole that he’s not allowed to touch ever since he came to be eye level with it. He really had no appreciation of what he was doing and how it would affect the dog. 6. But yes, he did receive ‘discipline’ in the form of a calm, firm reprimand for acting in violence and, when he calmed down enough, a limited discussion of appropriate behaviour and a teachable moment where he came to understand that he had hurt our dog. Little guy was upset by it and apologetic. It went way better than anticipated. 7. People who think children suck for reasons such as this undervalue the insane mileage I’m going to get out of this one for years to come. 8. He’s a really awesome kid with a good heart, but human (surprise). I’m actually pretty sad Trip didn’t add anything but #14 gave me a laugh. I also don't know what he's going to be a 'social path' quite means, but I'm alright if he turns out extroverted.
You... I like you. Tell the miniature proctologist I said, "Hi."
I think by "social path," they meant "sociopath." But that's invalid, anyway. As you said, he's two, and toddlers tend to get physical when they're upset. Just because he did a harmful thing one time without knowing better does not make him a danger to society.
Sorry been laughing my head off at the explanation and trying to visualize the situation. Also with a 4yr old here.
Not sure why I'm getting down-voted for a, attempting to help OP understand what people were saying and b, defending her point by saying her kid doing a bad thing once doesn't make him a psycho. Either people are misunderstanding what I was trying to say, or you're all just a bunch of judgmental assholes who think this kid is going to grow up to be a terrorist just because he hurt a dog one time during a tantrum.
52, I think you're getting downvoted because I'm 99% sure op knew it was supposed to be "sociopath" and was making a joke of the person's mistake.
#46 I don't know why you got down voted either. I understood what you were saying and the point you were making.
Still, when all I'm trying to do is be helpful, that reaction hardly seems necessary.
45, I gave him your greetings and he responded with the finger. :( 46, Yes, I was well aware of both the typo and the logical fallacy of it all, hence the joke. Also, I am his father, not mother (as indicated). Please don't assume the gender of a parent, it's a bit of a sore spot. "I was taking a walk with my toddler..." --> "Oh, this must be the mother" is how I read your reply, even if that is not your intention.
#56, try notr to take it personally. everyone gets downvoted sometimes and your reasons and intentions may be very valid, but maybe it didn't come across right or someone misread it oor something. It isn't a personal attack, people upvote and downvote on things they don't agree with, if they don't get sarcasm, if they think someone missed a joke or gave a bad pun or reacted badly. My advice would be to leave it and move on. Everyone gets downvoted and somertimes it is unclear why. But keep commenting and I'm sure you'll make a posdt with lots of upvotes :)
#57 I think the person who used "she" didn't assume you were a woman because you took your son out for a walk. Rather I think that #47 is a girl so she used sure as a default when you don't have any idea what the gender is. at least that is what I do. if I'm wrong sorry if I offend anyone
What kind of f*cking toddler aims directly at an animal's asshole while throwing a tantrum? This is probably one of the weirdest FMLs I've ever read.
the kid wanted to do something he wasnt allowed to do, and apologized after. calm down dude
ncparry
18
As someone who has raised three boys as toddlers, I can say this isn't normal....never once were they interested in another animal's or human's for that matter, anus.
Yes, I can see how your experience with three children makes you the authority on normalcy, obviously your children are the bell curve against which all children are measured. It couldn't possibly be variation in interest, not to mention adults imposing various concepts of deviancy based on knowledge outside of what a toddler has access to. I'm not so much offended by the fact that you're calling it abnormal so much as the sheer ignorance of it. So let me make it simple. Dog anus is brown hole, poop comes out (neat!), fingers can go in holes, oh, not allowed to do that (want to do it more... ooh, forbidden things). What the **** about toddler tendencies makes that scenario so weird? What happens when my experience with toddlers (such bodily curiosity is normal, verified in three other children I have contact with either through observation or being regaled with incidents) comes into conflict with your experience. Who reigns supreme as Authority on Toddlers in the battle of anecdotes? Pull your head out of your ass. Your experience with three children makes you no authority on anything other than your own three children.
actually, one of my first memories is a fascination for kitty's buttholes. They are so 'out' there. And I've seen other kids try and poke anuses too. Mostly kitty anuses.
I've felt something similar to your pain, OP. My kid tried to shove a hairbrush up our dogs butt. With force. She smacked him with it in the anus and his balls too before I got it away from her. We got rid of the brush soon after.
Children are strange creatures, and this is a beautiful FML. Hi baby vet!
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I really hope that kid got disciplined
You... I like you. Tell the miniature proctologist I said, "Hi."