Love: Today, while trying to have a serious conversation with my husband... - FML

By thelunarwolf - 02/03/2011 03:41

Today, while trying to have a serious conversation with my husband about his drug use over text, he came home. Drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 866

You deserved it 8 880

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Same thing different taste

By Helen - 10/11/2012 10:15 - United States - Pine Bluff

Today, my husband came home drunk off his ass at 2am. He started crying on my shoulder because he couldn't go home with some beautiful woman who hit on him, because sadly for him, he's married to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 074

You deserved it 3 088

By rachaaaaeul - 06/08/2010 07:07 - United States

Today, I was texting my boyfriend about yesterday, where he told me how much he loved me, and he wishes we lived closer. I asked him if he really meant it. Turns out he was drunk, and had no idea what he was talking about. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 072

You deserved it 4 021

Explain yourself

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - France

Today, I received a text message from my wife, who had gone out for the evening with some girlfriends, saying, "I have to take a friend home, she's drunk! I'll be staying at his place. Call you in the morning." Umm… His? FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 232

You deserved it 4 591

By TheOtherWoman - 20/07/2009 07:10 - United States

Today, the guy I've been sleeping with for the last three weeks got really drunk. I drove him home from the party and took care of him. At 2am he asked for the phone. When I asked what for, he said he wanted to drunk dial his girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 032

You deserved it 12 794

Party animal

By Anonymous - 16/09/2020 02:04

Today, my husband woke up, tried walking to the bathroom, fell down, got back up and started peeing on the carpet. I’ve never seen him this drunk before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 283

You deserved it 193

By sober - 12/02/2009 02:09 - United States

Today, I got a text message. It said, "I'm so drunk. What you up to, girl?" It was my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 79 392

You deserved it 4 328

Wait for the hangover

By Carpet cleaner - 21/02/2012 02:15 - Canada

Today, my husband came home late from drinking with his buddies, only to toss and turn and keep me up for an hour. He then sat up and didn't move for a few minutes. I sat up to see what was wrong, only to see him pissing on the carpet beside our bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 122

You deserved it 2 676

By Anonymous - 05/01/2013 00:56 - Netherlands - Groningen

Today, I found out I'm pregnant. My husband reacted by going out and smoking weed, then getting completely shitfaced, and having his buddies drag his nearly-comatose carcass back home from a strip club. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 474

You deserved it 5 192

Dude, chill out

By U... - 18/08/2023 22:00

Today, my friend got a text showing his girlfriend cheating on him. Sounds like his FML, but he was at my house. He then worked his way through a bottle of my whisky and went into a drunken rage. He threw my furniture through windows, punched holes in the wall, and smashed stuff until I had to call the cops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 708

You deserved it 113

By Username - 17/08/2011 23:37 - United States

Today, I drunk texted a guy I like. We'd met at an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 683

You deserved it 41 819

Next

Top comments

Southerndatageek 2

Wednesday 2 March 2011 8:15

Who has a serious conversation like that via text?

safetyword 0

Wednesday 2 March 2011 8:18

YDI for trying to have a serious conversation via text.

Comments

Tyler_8801 0

Wednesday 2 March 2011 13:51

that blows.

pinkface 0

Wednesday 2 March 2011 13:54

I know exactly how u feel. I got home today finding my fiancé getting hi in OUR bedroom with his dealer -.-

BadKitty13 28

Wednesday 2 March 2011 14:21

Oh that Sucks. Did he at least get free stuff. (sorry couldn't resist that one) Hope you dumped his ass.

Bladian 5

Thursday 5 April 2012 3:55

Uh. Why should she dump him...?

shajenjen 0

Wednesday 2 March 2011 14:36

rehab!

Kar98 6

Wednesday 2 March 2011 14:37

YDI for wanting to have a "serious conversation" via text messaging. I'd get drunk and high too, if I was your husband.

MagnumForse71 0

Wednesday 2 March 2011 14:44

sounds like a man id like to party woth=]

MissBunny25 0

Wednesday 2 March 2011 15:40

gotta love that drunk texting .. haha.

TurboLCR 0

Wednesday 2 March 2011 15:42

yeah definitely better talking when he's pissed. lrn2think

pennies_lane 6

Wednesday 2 March 2011 15:45

I really hope you inserted emoticons into your texts.....just so he could see just how SERIOUSLY upset/hurt/angry you really were (insert dopey grin)

Mercedeh910 0

Wednesday 2 March 2011 15:56

hi:)

pennies_lane 6

Wednesday 2 March 2011 15:59

I really do hope you inserted some serious emoticons into your texts.....just so he could really see how serious you really are about this really serious matter..... come on OP, a serious texting conversation?! really?!

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Today, I tried to get a picture of a cute cat while on my morning walk. The cat didn't run away scared, it was even as if he knew it was "strike a pose" time. Then, out of nowhere, a seagull swooped down and stole my breakfast bagel. FML

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Today, I was just told by a hiring manager that the reasons I'm not getting interviews is because I have a spotty work history. My work history is spotty because my mother ignores my food allergies so she can get attention and, as a result, I'm chronically ill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 198

You deserved it 208

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I agree, your life sucks 2 765

You deserved it 2 540

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I agree, your life sucks 53 368

You deserved it 4 226

Today, my brother told me that he needed to borrow a hammer, a chisel, and a drill just in case. I asked him if he was finally getting round to starting work on his apartment. Not at all, he was just going to crack open the coconut he'd just bought at the supermarket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 539

You deserved it 48

Today, I found out the guy I've been crushing on for many years thinks he's a werewolf. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 924

You deserved it 4 864

Today, it was Homecoming. During the dance, I saw this mentally handicapped guy ask this pretty girl to dance. She said no. So I went over to him and asked him to dance. He replied that he only wanted to dance with "pretty girls" and I was not one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 783

You deserved it 5 545

Today, my ex showed up at my doorstep, claiming to be pregnant with my baby. Of course, I pointed out we broke up ten months ago and hadn't seen each other again until just now, and she is currently six months along. She actually admitted to my face that she figured I'd be too stupid to put the pieces together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 653

You deserved it 139