Work: Today, while working at Home Depot, a customer tried to engage...

By Anonymous - 06/05/2014 22:47 - United States - Sparks

Today, while working at Home Depot, a customer tried to engage me in a conversation about which gardening tool would "hypothetically" be the best to kill his wife with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 441

You deserved it 3 832

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

Let it out

By MrTandy - 16/09/2011 02:38 - United States

Today, I was working when I delivered the standard "Hello, how are you?" to a customer. He took the opportunity to tell me about his deceased wife, his estranged children, and his anal tearing. After a while, I tried to help someone else, and he complained to my manager. I was written up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 665

You deserved it 3 708

By diggingaplotforone - 11/08/2012 23:47 - United States - Redlands

Today, I was digging in my lawn, trying to ignore the suspicious glances coming from my nosy fuckball of a neighbor. When he asked what I was doing, I replied with dripping sarcasm, that I was digging up the schoolkids I killed last year. Fifteen minutes later, the cops he called arrived. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 188

You deserved it 9 583

By shoutoutloud2him - 05/12/2009 08:48 - United States

Today, I was at Home Depot getting a Christmas tree with my family. While picking out a tree, a man thought it would be nice to help cut off the string that held the tree together. The branches hit me in the face and the guy managed to cut my hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 991

You deserved it 2 637

By cock blocked - 22/04/2015 15:44 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I started work cleaning a customer's pool. I think her husband watches too much porn because he keeps glaring at me from the windows, and I overheard him telling his wife that he knows what's "going on" and that he's "not gonna let it happen". FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 145

You deserved it 2 474

By idkmybffjill? - 13/02/2009 04:12 - United States

Today, I was pestering a co-worker, so she jokingly stated "I'll bury you!" and I replied "I'll bury your mom!". Her moms funeral was last week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 572

You deserved it 49 048

By chubbyreddevil - 31/01/2012 06:12 - United States

Today, at work, a customer threatened to punch me in the face because the store I work at doesn't have shopping baskets, only carts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 742

You deserved it 2 394

Confusion

By oh god. - 14/05/2014 23:16 - Canada - Sherwood Park

Today, while at work, I asked an older customer how he was doing. He told me that he'd just lost his wife. I gave my condolences before he clarified that his wife was not dead, but was lost in Walmart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 312

You deserved it 7 116

By Anonymous - 29/08/2014 16:17 - United Kingdom - Slough

Today, after finally getting rid of an extremely rude, abusive customer, I muttered that I could kill people like her. I didn't know my manager had heard me, until a pair of police officers arrived. He'd reported me for "threatening to murder a customer". FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 000

You deserved it 11 142

By tired of my job - 29/10/2015 08:33 - Canada - Surrey

Today, I was at work, stocking shelves. A customer got mad because I was in the way of her "shopping time" and knocked down all the work I had done. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 109

You deserved it 1 385

By fuckmyjob - 19/06/2014 20:10 - United States - Lake Charles

Today, at my first day working at Walmart, a customer asked if we have any egg cookers. I said I wasn't sure, but that I'd be "eggstatic" to go ask for him. The first clue I got to suggest he hated puns was him yelling "Don't get smart with me, boy!" and then threatening to kill me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 018

You deserved it 10 173

xlord 27

Wednesday 7 May 2014 11:21

Can't go wrong with the classic shovel + u can use it to dig the hole. This all completely hypothetical of course!!!!

Soundslikeothers 15

Wednesday 7 May 2014 11:22

Do you "hypothetically" call the police?

Comments

Chingy892987 14

Wednesday 7 May 2014 20:41

Did Tim Lambesis come to your Home Depot?

zenrael 21

Wednesday 7 May 2014 21:09

I always say. "One moment please," and walk away and never come back.

sweggy 5

Wednesday 7 May 2014 21:15

I would say a ho for a hoe

squarecircles 13

Wednesday 7 May 2014 21:18

You can always suggest killing her with kindness and show him the plants & flowers selection.

worldclassrager 39

Wednesday 7 May 2014 22:39

Tell him to buy a copy of the Golden Age Of Grotesque by Marilyn Manson...that will have a few ideas

TheyCallMeDamien 17

Thursday 8 May 2014 2:23

So what did you recommend? *wink* *wink* *nod* *nod*

scythe_lover 4

Thursday 8 May 2014 2:27

you can never go wrong with a nice scythe...

Bquillero16 18

Thursday 8 May 2014 3:14

I share the awkward pain, after the new year I had a customer talk to me about toilet augers and if it could be used to give abortions since doctors basically use the same kind of tool to conduct abortions as well. People are crazy