By Anonymous - 06/05/2014 22:47 - United States - Sparks

Today, while working at Home Depot, a customer tried to engage me in a conversation about which gardening tool would "hypothetically" be the best to kill his wife with. FML
I agree, your life sucks 47 441
You deserved it 3 832
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Top comments

xlord 27

Can't go wrong with the classic shovel + u can use it to dig the hole. This all completely hypothetical of course!!!!

413 4

Comments

kost4060 14

Who cares get a gun some gloves a mop and silencer and he's all set

1 23
laden_swallow09 34

Firearms have serial numbers for just such an occasion , unless you can buy one from some hood rat with any numbers or discerning features filed completely off. Forensics can determine the serial from a damaged weapon if it's some two-bit rush job. And a "silencer"? You mean a suppressor? No such thing as a silencer. Even with a suppressor, it's still going to make a racket, albeit not nearly as harmful to your ears. Even so, do you have any earthly idea how difficult it is to find one? Even on the black market, they're hard to acquire. Amateur. Get out of Hollywood and do some real research. Gardening implements are the way to go.

22 0
KingLewisII 34

Wow someone's really thought this out ..

9 1
j_cat187 19

since serial numbers are stamped, it would be possible to read it no mater how much you do file it down.

0 0
mybubbles2000 13

#13- Are you really that stupid. You don't encourage someone to kill anyone.

0 1
Ceruleanst 5

For your Illustrated FML needs, just look up "Bruiser Do you do poison" on YouTube.

1 16
91hayek 31

Recommend something and then sell him a faulty item that would turn the wife's attempted murder into something comical and hilarious.

22 3
WhatsOpTic 11

Yes because I would be laughing and having a good time after my failed murder

0 0
xx000o 27

I would suggest the backyard wood chipper.

8 1
sdroze1389 31

I hear with ice picks you bleed in not out, a definite advantage for a domestic murder. still the classic spade shovel would still get my vote.

8 1
Enslaved 36

That guy got the wrong idea when told "You can do it, we can help".

27 1
cakefete2 30

That is genius level commenting right there. I laughed at the thought of the home depot being formally indicted as an accessory before the fact, then having to build their own prison, because the existing ones were too small.

8 1
5destroyer35 20

Wheelbarrow, all the way. Duct tape them to the bottom, fill with water, and viola, dead wife.

3 4
littlekellilee 45

That's either one big wheelbarrow or one small wife. Unless you taped her face down.

3 0
cakefete2 30

So... a viola is an instrument. You probably had it correct and auto correct tripped you up.

2 0
sdroze1389 31

#63 you only to submerge the head, a ten gallon bucket could do that. drowning seems smart because there would be no blood at the crime scene.

1 0
LexSwift 17

I would have said, "Hold on a minute, I'll go get something for you," left a co-worker with him, and called the police. That's not something to take lightly regardless if it's a joke or not, because that's not something to joke about in the first place. Things like that are not funny, because there are people who actually do crazy things like that.

8 3
DanielleinDC 33

Probably, but it would prevent OP from being considered an accessory before the fact if he reported that someone had asked about committing murder. And if something does happen to the guy's wife, he's the very first suspect because he asked a Home Depot employee about how to kill her. "Hypothetically" anyway.

4 0
graceinsheepwear 33

He sure raked you in to that discussion.

4 1