Work: Today, whilst at my job as a lifeguard, a small child decided...

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By corn - 03/06/2011 01:44 - United Kingdom

Today, whilst at my job as a lifeguard, a small child decided he couldn't hold it any longer and released his bowels in the pool. It was my job to clean up his dump, including the floating pieces of sweetcorn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 296

You deserved it 3 297

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Same thing different taste

By heyyoitsapotato - 31/05/2013 02:35 - United States

Today, while working as a lifeguard, a kid took a dump in the pool. When I told everyone to clear the pool so we could clean it, another kid promptly stared at me, stood at the shallow end right where I was standing, pulled down his trunks, and peed on my feet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 143

You deserved it 3 303

Cute

By benjo - 06/08/2013 18:07 - United States

Today, I was lifeguarding a pool party for a bunch of eight year-olds. One of them decided it'd be funny to have a contest to see who could make the most bubbles with their farts. It led to three kids shitting themselves in the pool, and me having the dubious honor of cleaning it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 062

You deserved it 4 844

Let it all out

By HateCelebz - 26/08/2023 00:02

Today, I went for a swim in the sea. It was early and I was the only one in the water. i swam out far, then my tummy rumbled big time. Next thing I knew, I'd shat my shorts. It went everywhere. I had to scoop the poop out with my hand and wash it off whilst swimming back to shore. I had to shower afterwards. FML

I agree, your life sucks 563

You deserved it 221

By donezo - 26/06/2009 05:43 - United States

Today, while working at a fast food restaurant, I stayed a little overtime to help my manager with dishes. A kid pooped in the slide in the playground area attached to the restaurant itself. I'm the smallest one there. I had to crawl UP the slide to find and clean the poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 421

You deserved it 3 743

By Anonymous - 25/03/2014 21:53 - United States - Springboro

Today, while lifeguarding, a kid thought it'd be hilarious to take a crap in the pool. The other kids freaked out and rushed to get out. Several of them slipped on the way out and hurt themselves fairly badly. Two parents are now threatening to sue us, and my boss blames me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 520

You deserved it 3 846

By Vitani_Verci - 15/01/2016 06:57

Today, one of the kids at the daycare center I work at was so excited at the fact that his constipation was over, he felt the need to bring me his fecal matter, in his hands, to show me. Guess who had to clean up the aftermath. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 968

You deserved it 1 781

By lifesucks0925 - 06/09/2013 07:01 - United States - Vallejo

Today, I had to clean human excrement at work when the fitting room turned into the shitting room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 792

You deserved it 2 817

By Anonymous - 27/02/2010 06:36 - United States

Today, I was babysitting to make a few extra dollars. While changing one of the kid's diapers, I turned around to find the other kid gone. I turned back around frantically, only to get poop flung at my face. I guess I found him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 616

You deserved it 3 179

By Anonymous - 14/05/2019 02:00

Today, at work, I came back from my break to find a child covered in mud. Turns out it wasn't mud. One of the other children had taken all of the poop out of their diaper and smeared it all over the floor, walls, and other children. The other teacher hadn't noticed, and I had to clean it all up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 133

You deserved it 147

Surprise!

By ilana - 10/02/2012 09:51 - United States

Today, I was working at my day-camp, and one of my little boys told me he had to show me something important. He proudly showed me that he'd crapped his pants. I had to wipe his ass clean. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 430

You deserved it 3 346

frozenfreeze 5

Friday 3 June 2011 8:51

That was a corny joke...

bigred7070 0

Friday 3 June 2011 8:31

how did you know it was "sweet" corn. lol

Comments

northern_lights 0

Friday 3 June 2011 11:23

Ewwwww. Kids are ******* gross. Exactly why I don't them. FYL, OP.

Person1233 12

Friday 3 June 2011 11:38

Don't them? Don't eat them? Don't have them? Don't **** them? Don't have mercy on them? Don't give lube to them? WE NEED TO KNOW, NOW.

iamthefire 3

Friday 3 June 2011 13:17

wait..you mean the kid at the pool dropped his kids off at the pool?

No_LoveMM 3

Friday 3 June 2011 13:20

59 Some blue kid?

Jasper8713 2

Friday 3 June 2011 13:32

Yeah, there's a pool vacuum that does that. It's really not that gross to clean up.

xMeAtHaMmEr 0

Friday 3 June 2011 13:52

I'm just curious how you know it was SWEET corn

mgrubby 4

Friday 3 June 2011 13:58

Sooo, how do you know the corn was sweet!?!

Mish44 3

Friday 3 June 2011 14:13

All i have to say on the matter is eeeeewwwwwwww!

yepadoodles 3

Friday 3 June 2011 14:23

I don't want to live on the planet any more

CryMoreFMLs 14

Friday 3 June 2011 14:41

Awh thats just naaassstehh... (Cleaveland)

MyLifeAsAnna 1

Friday 3 June 2011 14:46

I'm eating corn... thank you for making me vomit on my plate O.o

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You deserved it 3 752

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You deserved it 6 959

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I agree, your life sucks 240

You deserved it 1 336

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You deserved it 1 452

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I agree, your life sucks 24 273

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I agree, your life sucks 29 602

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Same thing different taste

Cute

Let it all out

Surprise!

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