Work: Today, whilst at my job as a lifeguard, a small child decided...

By corn - 03/06/2011 01:44 - United Kingdom

Today, whilst at my job as a lifeguard, a small child decided he couldn't hold it any longer and released his bowels in the pool. It was my job to clean up his dump, including the floating pieces of sweetcorn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 293

You deserved it 3 297

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By heyyoitsapotato - 31/05/2013 02:35 - United States

Today, while working as a lifeguard, a kid took a dump in the pool. When I told everyone to clear the pool so we could clean it, another kid promptly stared at me, stood at the shallow end right where I was standing, pulled down his trunks, and peed on my feet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 136

You deserved it 3 300

Cute

By benjo - 06/08/2013 18:07 - United States

Today, I was lifeguarding a pool party for a bunch of eight year-olds. One of them decided it'd be funny to have a contest to see who could make the most bubbles with their farts. It led to three kids shitting themselves in the pool, and me having the dubious honor of cleaning it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 056

You deserved it 4 844

Let it all out

By HateCelebz - 26/08/2023 00:02

Today, I went for a swim in the sea. It was early and I was the only one in the water. i swam out far, then my tummy rumbled big time. Next thing I knew, I'd shat my shorts. It went everywhere. I had to scoop the poop out with my hand and wash it off whilst swimming back to shore. I had to shower afterwards. FML

I agree, your life sucks 557

You deserved it 214

By donezo - 26/06/2009 05:43 - United States

Today, while working at a fast food restaurant, I stayed a little overtime to help my manager with dishes. A kid pooped in the slide in the playground area attached to the restaurant itself. I'm the smallest one there. I had to crawl UP the slide to find and clean the poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 416

You deserved it 3 743

By Anonymous - 25/03/2014 21:53 - United States - Springboro

Today, while lifeguarding, a kid thought it'd be hilarious to take a crap in the pool. The other kids freaked out and rushed to get out. Several of them slipped on the way out and hurt themselves fairly badly. Two parents are now threatening to sue us, and my boss blames me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 517

You deserved it 3 845

By Vitani_Verci - 15/01/2016 06:57

Today, one of the kids at the daycare center I work at was so excited at the fact that his constipation was over, he felt the need to bring me his fecal matter, in his hands, to show me. Guess who had to clean up the aftermath. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 965

You deserved it 1 780

By lifesucks0925 - 06/09/2013 07:01 - United States - Vallejo

Today, I had to clean human excrement at work when the fitting room turned into the shitting room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 787

You deserved it 2 816

By Anonymous - 27/02/2010 06:36 - United States

Today, I was babysitting to make a few extra dollars. While changing one of the kid's diapers, I turned around to find the other kid gone. I turned back around frantically, only to get poop flung at my face. I guess I found him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 609

You deserved it 3 176

By Anonymous - 14/05/2019 02:00

Today, at work, I came back from my break to find a child covered in mud. Turns out it wasn't mud. One of the other children had taken all of the poop out of their diaper and smeared it all over the floor, walls, and other children. The other teacher hadn't noticed, and I had to clean it all up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 126

You deserved it 146

Surprise!

By ilana - 10/02/2012 09:51 - United States

Today, I was working at my day-camp, and one of my little boys told me he had to show me something important. He proudly showed me that he'd crapped his pants. I had to wipe his ass clean. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 427

You deserved it 3 346

frozenfreeze 5

Friday 3 June 2011 8:51

That was a corny joke...

bigred7070 0

Friday 3 June 2011 8:31

how did you know it was "sweet" corn. lol

Comments

Jamialia 5

Friday 3 June 2011 22:06

Kids are disgusting.

Blacksmokehick 0

Friday 3 June 2011 22:13

so..howd ya know it was sweetcorn?

herrerwl 2

Friday 3 June 2011 22:18

how do you know the corn was sweet?

Disenchanted_fml 5

Friday 3 June 2011 22:37

lmfao did anyone else find this hilarious?

aburt6622 0

Friday 3 June 2011 22:52

how did you know it was sweet corn?

bearkiller4 0

Friday 3 June 2011 23:34

how'd you know it was sweet corn?

heyitsalexxx 0

Saturday 4 June 2011 0:07

it's part of the job. Don't complain.

prismis 0

Saturday 4 June 2011 0:34

isn't that what the scooper thingys are for?

AgentKennedy 0

Saturday 4 June 2011 5:17

That kid really should of been wearing some sort of diaper.

ivan_m25 0

Saturday 4 June 2011 5:39

mmmm.... yummy! don't tell me you didn't get hungry. I would have I like corn. jk

Keywords

Break-ups Love Christmas Miscellaneous Poopoo peepee Gross Ironic Argument Friends Awkward Cute Haircut Relatable You're fired Work Cars Covid Health Jealousy Cheating Kids Parenting Family DIY Cats Roommate Sex Intimacy Am I overreacting? Management

The Top

Today, my girlfriend went on a date with her mechanic. She said it was to get discounts when she goes in for maintenance. Not only does she not see a problem with it, but she's probably getting discounts on other services too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 738

You deserved it 5 265

Today, I yelled at one of my employees for trying to discreetly slip out of a meeting, and demanded he sit up front so I could make sure he stayed for the whole time. Three minutes later, he shat his pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47

You deserved it 876

The Top

Today, I was just beginning a calculus exam when my brain thought it was a good time to get stuck on the song "Close Every Door" from Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat. Now that the exam is over, I'm afraid that I can foresee the future through song. FML

I agree, your life sucks 642

You deserved it 164

Today, I found out why DnD is recommended for ages 13 and up. I ran a kids' session supposed to be for ages 12-16, but a few younger ones turned up. It took them an hour and a half to kill 3 zombies, and then they wanted to go on a murder rampage through the town. I'm secretly hoping they don't turn up next week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 555

You deserved it 291

Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend that fist pumping during sex is not romantic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 769

You deserved it 6 716

Today, some guy walked into the restaurant I work at and ordered enough food to serve the entire National Guard of Texas. He thanked us by leaving a $0.50 tip and shitting on the bathroom floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 027

You deserved it 2 014

Today, my constant bragging to friends caught up with me, and everyone believes I'm a swinger. Because of this, no girl wants to go out with me, in case they become just another notch under my belt. The truth is, I'm still a virgin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 949

You deserved it 99 331

Today, I found out that I had my first born child. It's a boy. I found out on facebook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 700

You deserved it 15 291

Same thing different taste

Cute

Let it all out

Surprise!

Top comments

Comments