Intimacy: True love waits

True love waits

By Acolyte of the Bacon God - 15/02/2013 19:50 - United States - Fort Myers

Today, my girlfriend finally said that she finally felt ready to have sex with me. It ended up being so terrible that I only managed to get some pleasure out of it when my mind drifted to the thought of going to Olive Garden later and eating some of their breadsticks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 180

You deserved it 10 420

Carnival of Disasters
Dive into carnival, where hilarious costumes meet unexpected mishaps. Laughter is guaranteed, mask or no mask! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Anticlimactic

By JC12345 - 18/03/2009 04:35 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Afterwards we went to Applebee's for dinner, then after we'd ate I asked, "How was it?" he says, "It was terrible", to which I said, "The food was that bad?" He replies, "No, the sex". FML

I agree, your life sucks 90 996

You deserved it 13 836

By Anonymous - 02/11/2009 14:04 - United States

Today, I finally had the opportunity to have sex with my girlfriend. This would be the first time for both of us, so I tried to make it really special. I had everything planned out to be very romantic. She loved how it was set up. After all this, I couldn't get it up at all, all night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 147

You deserved it 5 120

By soisblueballsdickhead - 26/10/2014 14:25 - United States

Today, I finally felt ready to give my boyfriend a blowjob. Barely 20 seconds in, he said: "I'll be honest, this is TERRIBLE." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 047

You deserved it 9 713

Let down

By anonymous - 21/06/2009 02:00 - United States

Today, I took my girlfriend's virginity. A few minutes in she remarked, "If this is what sex is normally like then I'm seriously disappointed." FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 240

You deserved it 17 264

No good

By :(( - 28/09/2013 21:24 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I was all set to lose my virginity to my girlfriend. I was ecstatic, until she threatened to "beat the fuck" out of me if I didn't make it good for her. The actual sex was 30 seconds of me being given death glares, causing me to lose my boner, and have to leave in shame. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 449

You deserved it 8 035

Finger wagging

By Anonymous - 16/12/2024 14:00 - United States - Edison

Today, my normally-prudish girlfriend grabbed my crotch and said, "I want you to fuck me like I've never been fucked." I obliged. She loved it, until after we'd finished, when she decided that she felt "cheap, gross, and used" and started a huge fight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 477

You deserved it 107

By Anon. - 01/03/2011 23:51 - United States

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be sexy to stick her finger up my ass during sex. I screamed like a little girl and barely managed to finish. Afterward, she said, 'Now you know how it feels.' FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 618

You deserved it 91 036

By Mr Eek - 25/10/2008 16:57

Today, for the very first time I got it on with my girlfriend. Unfortunately, afterwards I had a terrible tummy ache and let out a very noisy fart. I'm not sure she'll still be my girlfriend tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 582

You deserved it 12 447

By Confused - 22/08/2012 16:33 - Spain - Madrid

Today, I finally had sex with my boyfriend. I had never gotten so far with a guy, so I was really nervous. He was careful, we tried different positions, "it was fun" and he came. I barely felt anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 784

You deserved it 4 426

Bored

By Taylor parsons - 29/10/2010 04:48 - United States

Today, my girlfriend was going down on me. She only did it for 30 seconds, stopped, then said, "I'm not in the mood anymore." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 442

You deserved it 7 542

Serisent 26

Saturday 16 February 2013 2:38

Perhaps, since she 'finally' agreed to it, she just wasn't ready? Or, perhaps your performance was also uninspiring to her.

HowieDoIt 21

Saturday 16 February 2013 2:42

So you fantasized about eating sticks? Are you sure you didn't enjoy it for another reason?

Comments

Albarufus 13

Sunday 17 February 2013 11:19

Love it when people expect it to be awesome the first time you have sex with someone. That's not always the case!

ittybitttyme 8

Sunday 17 February 2013 14:13

Maybe because you "finally" got her to agree to it- quit pressuring her into it ya bastard. You wouldn't have to get her to agree if she actually wanted it. Maybe you're just not that damn good.

Ominn 6

Sunday 17 February 2013 19:47

Sounds more like she initiated. OP didn't put "Finally agreed", the gf said she "was ready". Read better.

ultra_notorious 26

Sunday 17 February 2013 16:49

all that anticipation. just for a huge letdown, hate when that happens!

Jaded88 3

Monday 18 February 2013 5:10

What do you mean by terrible? As in she was lousy in bed, or it hurt her, or the positon was wrong, or what? If she was lousy in bed, it was probably her first time or that she was nervous... give it some time.

bootytoo 14

Monday 18 February 2013 9:25

I feel bad for your girlfriend sound s like she might not even have been ready.

VampTat 10

Tuesday 19 February 2013 0:36

First of all, you only need to use the word "finally" once. Examples: "Today, my girlfriend finally said that she felt ready to have sex with me." OR "Today, my girlfriend said that she felt ready to finally have sex with me." Second, I'm assuming that your girlfriend was a virgin before having sex with you? But even if it wasn't, having sex with someone you haven't had sex with before is always going to be a little awkward the first time. Keep in mind, that communication is a big key to good sex too... But regardless, you're a scumbag if you honestly expected "good sex" from her after pressuring her into having sex to begin with... Just because you are her boyfriend does not make her ****** your property. She can decide whether or not she's okay with you putting your penis in it, and if you couldn't deal with that, then you should have just moved on.