Sex, Smells and Intimacy: Turn me on

Turn me on

By shmelly - 16/04/2010 04:03 - United States

Today, as my boyfriend was unbuttoning my pants to go down on me, he looked at me and said in his best robot voice, "Caution, contents may be stinky." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 981

You deserved it 22 234

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Same thing different taste

To each his own

By Anonymous - 05/10/2023 14:00

Today, during sex, my boyfriend found it appropriate to tell me he loves "how bad" I smell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 459

You deserved it 237

Superfuzz Big Muff

By miiiiilk - 05/12/2010 11:12 - United States

Today, as my boyfriend was about to go down on me, he held his breath and said, "I'm going in!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 655

You deserved it 9 534

Steamy

By Anonymous - 20/05/2019 06:35

Today, while getting steamy with my boyfriend, I tried to be sexy and tease him by playfully pushing his hands away every time he touched me. He responded by telling me it's OK if we didn't have sex because my breath was a bit "funky" and he needed to take "a massive dump anyway." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 110

You deserved it 3 397

Observation

By Anonymous - 17/04/2009 05:43 - United States

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Right as I was really getting into it, he pauses, frowns, and says, "I think I see the pee hole." FML

I agree, your life sucks 97 752

You deserved it 8 003

So sensual...

By Wellokthen - 17/02/2017 22:00 - United States

Today, things began to get hot and heavy between my boyfriend and me. Suddenly, in a deep, sexy voice, he whispered, "God help me for what I'm about to do." Thinking it was just an odd manner of dirty talk, I mumbled about liking it. He then farted very loudly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 073

You deserved it 1 156

Crotch rot of the mouth

By Anonymous - 25/03/2024 19:00 - United Kingdom

Today, as I hadn’t showered yet, I told my boyfriend not to go down on me in case it smelled "down there." We started kissing instead, but he made a "blech" face, then went down on me anyway. Apparently my morning breath was worse than unwashed crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 131

You deserved it 466

By KaiyaOtaku1 - 14/07/2014 23:48 - United States - Seattle

Today, while eating dinner with my boyfriend, I look up to see him staring at me, smiling. Hoping he wanted to say how lucky of a man he was who loved me deeply, I asked him what he was thinking. He replied, "You can't smell that yet? It was a noxious one." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 874

You deserved it 6 657

By fartlover - 27/11/2009 05:10 - Canada

Today, I went over to my boyfriend's apartment and I smelled a delicious aroma as I walked in so I asked him what he was cooking. His response was, "I'm not cooking anything. I just farted." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 305

You deserved it 8 646

Bummed out

By Anon - 11/11/2023 04:00

Today, I tried to tease my boyfriend by pulling my skirt up, bending over, and backing up into him. He gagged and said, "Please, wash your ass." FML

I agree, your life sucks 136

You deserved it 789

By InvAzn - 14/12/2017 06:00

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate with each other, starting with some foreplay. Before he fingered me, he put on a blue surgical glove, claiming that "down there is dirty and smelly" and he didn't want it on his hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 588

You deserved it 2 366

THC_Overdose 0

Friday 16 April 2010 12:10

haha this made me laugh

karebear9 0

Friday 16 April 2010 12:12

ewww dude go wash that nastiness... ydi

Comments

Ecnassianer 0

Friday 16 April 2010 12:49

......... o_o -blink-

AquaSky 1

Friday 16 April 2010 13:00

Take the hint.

CallMeHush 0

Friday 16 April 2010 13:14

Wash that thang.

mikkel_natas 0

Friday 16 April 2010 13:19

OK... That's ******* brill! high five to him! :) A sense of humor is key to a successful long-term relationship. Bravo!

Diannaa 0

Friday 16 April 2010 13:56

OP u should clean your kitty cat.. or maybe u have an STD idk, but it isn't supposed to smell

Dannie1308 11

Wednesday 12 October 2016 11:38

what planet do you live on, where vaginas don't smell?!?

HarlequinHarlynn 0

Friday 16 April 2010 13:58

that's some funny shit haha

volstaag 0

Friday 16 April 2010 14:00

guess it reminded you to clean your smelly vag.

Quest_ 13

Friday 16 April 2010 14:10

Wow, I think that's a really jerky thing to say. If that happened to me I'd consider the sexy mood absolutely killed. How are you supposed to get excited and feel happy when it seems your boyfriend thinks such a degrading thing about your body. And put so rudely and immaturely. OP, I'm sure there's nothing wrong with your cake, natural vaginal scent is actually a symptom of it being clean and healthy. The market for 'feminine hygiene products' have fabricated the idea that to be acceptable your vulva must be scentless. Also, I'm sure his hairy musty **** smells awesome all the time.

kitzukitten715 0

Friday 16 April 2010 15:15

Well said #34. I'm a very clean person and have no "issues", so guys, get a clue. If it doesn't have a natural but clean vag smell, watch out... She may be hiding something. And chicks, if you have an issue with rotten crotch, wash it more than your daily shower. Stores sell feminine wash and douche just for that purpose.