Intimacy: Uh oh

Uh oh

By awkward - 26/07/2013 18:00 - United States - Yorba Linda

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Instead of moaning like any normal person, he just kept saying stuff like "uh-huh," "not too bad," and "yup" in a complete monotone. It was probably the most uncomfortable experience of my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 211

You deserved it 7 260

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Same thing different taste

Acting is hard work

By S. Dub - 10/04/2020 05:00

Today, my boyfriend told me that I needed to moan louder so that he knew I was enjoying it. Reluctantly, I put a little 'umph' into my moans during the next round. He pulled out and said, "It's just awkward now." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 953

You deserved it 307

Waste

By Annie - 31/08/2011 03:17 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Two minutes in, he goes, "Wow, this is strenuous" and stopped. I waited three years for this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 818

You deserved it 5 301

Turn off

By Anonymous - 03/11/2012 18:02 - Australia - Wembley

Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate with each other for the first time. He shoved his hand down my pants, touched about an inch away from my clitoris, and whispered, "Cummm" in my ear. I doubt I'll have an orgasm ever again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 034

You deserved it 4 250

Giggle loop

By Anonymous - 18/03/2010 10:39 - United States

Today, I decided it was time to lose my virginity to my boyfriend. After about ten minutes he started going faster and his stomach was slapping against mine. It was making a weird sound so I started laughing. Apparently that wasn't sexy and he went soft. My first time and we didn't even finish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 320

You deserved it 38 283

By Confused - 22/08/2012 16:33 - Spain - Madrid

Today, I finally had sex with my boyfriend. I had never gotten so far with a guy, so I was really nervous. He was careful, we tried different positions, "it was fun" and he came. I barely felt anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 767

You deserved it 4 416

By Anonymous - 15/01/2013 17:45 - United States

Today, I finally felt ready to have sex for the first time, with my boyfriend of nearly 8 months. When I told him, things became intimate and pants came off. He then looked at me and said, "Yeah, I can't do this." The rest of the night was spent in awkward silence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 790

You deserved it 6 662

Romance isn't dead

By budda1368 - 09/10/2019 22:00 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. It was amazing, besides for the fact I barely felt him. I pretty much faked the entire thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 227

You deserved it 1 280

By Anonymous - 19/01/2016 11:03 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was all going great until he decided to try talking dirty. His idea of this was moaning loudly, "Just what the pussy ordered" as he entered me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 306

You deserved it 2 763

Squelching the night away

By alison - 04/07/2015 05:02 - United States

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. All the magic vanished when I kept queefing every time he thrust into me. We made it about 10 seconds before he broke down into hysterical laughter and lost his boner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 032

You deserved it 4 955

By Anonymous - 30/05/2009 14:19 - Australia

Today, I was having amazing sex with this guy I had been seeing for a while. It got really intense, so did my moans. Guys usually like when I moan, but he just put his hands over my mouth and told me to "shut up" because it sounded like "pig noises". FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 320

You deserved it 21 499

droidlover 14

Saturday 27 July 2013 0:13

Not too bad.

jajajapun 5

Saturday 27 July 2013 0:08

yup

Comments

BlueOysterCult87 13

Sunday 28 July 2013 14:46

Uh huh. Yup, I guess it wasn't too bad then?

Baltonuts 0

Tuesday 30 July 2013 23:27

******* absolutely hilarious

qwertyu_ioplk 9

Sunday 28 July 2013 18:43

i would have dismounted and not spoken to him

KeinBaum 12

Sunday 28 July 2013 19:01

Not to long ago someone on an image board known for its weird humor said that it would be fun as hell just to say "yep" instead fo moaning. Maybe your bf is a regular visitor of that board.

themouse181 3

Sunday 28 July 2013 20:59

He might be Asexual.(meaning he cant enjoy sex)

AceofHearts95 3

Thursday 1 August 2013 22:06

Being asexual has nothing to do with sex. It means you don't feel attracted to other people. It's still possible to have sex, ********** etc. and enjoy it. Make sure you know what you're talking about before posting, alright?

Hairnet 14

Monday 29 July 2013 0:00

Silent sex is indeed very awkward, especially if he just stares at you blankly through out.

Vouptoup 5

Monday 29 July 2013 13:54

Dame it sucks to be you...

thepretender10 4

Monday 29 July 2013 19:10

you have to expect awkwardness the first time. I may ask him to refrain from using "not too bad" in dirty talk though.

gatorgirl2669 6

Sunday 4 August 2013 14:18

some men just make weird noises and make weird sex talk... if you dont like it then tell him you dont like the sex noises... or make some crazy noises of your owm... the other thing you could do is just bust out laughing in the middle of sex or just get up and walk away.. u will definately have his attention then