Sex, Food and Intimacy: Unexpected arousal

Unexpected arousal

By Anonymous - 20/08/2013 22:46 - United Kingdom - Sheffield

Today, I got sexual tingles while watching a Subway worker assemble my sandwich. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 843

You deserved it 12 332

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Same thing different taste

Flustration

By Anonymous - 19/03/2023 18:00

Today, I got flustered by the gorgeous sandwich artist at Subway and ordered a “meat-long foot-ball.” On Rye of course. FML

I agree, your life sucks 631

You deserved it 254

By Shoofly - 04/03/2011 22:54 - United States

Today, while at Subway, I looked on as an employee killed a fly with his hands. He then continued working without a second thought. He was making my sandwich. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 951

You deserved it 4 252

Turned on

By Anonymous - 31/03/2012 15:10 - United States

Today, I got sexually excited thinking about what kind of donuts I wanted to get in the morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 547

You deserved it 11 133

By /(•'_'•)\ - 07/09/2013 16:59 - United States - Ballwin

Today, while working at Subway, I was about to take a guy's order. He quickly held up a hand and asked for someone else to make his sub, because he doesn't like "ugly people" touching his food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 901

You deserved it 3 844

By Anonymous - 31/08/2019 06:03 - United States - New York

Today, while working at Subway, I was called a "terrorist" and other names by a customer 'behind my back'. I made him the best sandwich I'd ever made, in order to leave a good impression. Then I had to say the wonderful words, "Your total is $9.11." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 204

You deserved it 154

By Anonycock - 06/01/2016 17:15 - Qatar - Doha

Today, I'm so sexually deprived, I got a boner from undressing a mannequin at work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 832

You deserved it 3 909

"I'm horny, horny horny horny"

By Anonymous - 29/09/2020 23:01

Today, I got incredibly horny at work. No one was in the office, so I spread out on my yoga mat and started to masturbate. All of the sudden, I heard a forklift outside. I quickly tried to hide, but I think the construction worker caught me. He’ll be working here all month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 372

You deserved it 3 109

Dirty mind

By Anonymous - 11/12/2015 20:24 - United States - Porter

Today, I'm so sexually deprived that I got a raging hard-on from seeing and hearing my coworker yawn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 615

You deserved it 4 706

Get back here!

By matte - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, whilst working at Subway, I took an order for 6 footlongs. The entire process took 15 minutes due to the customer's hesitant and glacial pace. When it came to paying, he pulled out his wallet, looked inside, looked at me, and walked quickly out of the store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 93 996

You deserved it 4 983

Forever alone

By FriutlessApple - 11/10/2013 15:18 - United Kingdom

Today, feeling bored and lonely, I drove into town to wander around the shops and go to Subway for lunch. While there, I picked up two trays and put one on the opposite side of the table, along with some of my rubbish, to make it look like I was with someone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 561

You deserved it 11 115

JoeGrant 12

Wednesday 21 August 2013 9:37

Hey, the way they lay that meat on there, sexy as anything else.

frozenfreeze 5

Wednesday 21 August 2013 9:39

There's a reason it's called the $5 footlong.

Comments

Racky_fml 14

Wednesday 21 August 2013 9:46

It must've been really fresh then.

ibmike22 13

Wednesday 21 August 2013 9:48

Been there. Something about the way she handles the meat and squirts the mayo...

sniper4613 13

Wednesday 21 August 2013 9:51

It's the sandwich trust me I've been there before

Hutch1965 6

Wednesday 21 August 2013 23:42

You have been turned on by a sandwich from Subway? How sad I am for you right now.

SweetJTBR 22

Wednesday 21 August 2013 9:51

Sexual tingles. This is the best FML I've ever read.

woainishamu 21

Wednesday 21 August 2013 10:04

Train yourself not to have those tingles.

Pesticides 19

Wednesday 21 August 2013 10:52

who are you to deny pleasure of the best kind from the joy of a sandwich?

cosicosei 22

Wednesday 21 August 2013 10:17

The angel says control.. But the devil screams INDULGE!

mimaa91 2

Wednesday 21 August 2013 10:18

Dafuq did I just read lol

_streets_ 19

Wednesday 21 August 2013 10:21

Its those footlongs..there is just something about em.

thatonegirlnic 10

Wednesday 21 August 2013 10:27

Price of a sandwich: $5 Finding out you are turned on by a sandwich: priceless

CDobs 8

Wednesday 21 August 2013 10:43

Subway? I mean, if you were at Quiznos I would understand...

martin8337 35

Thursday 22 August 2013 1:04

Or Lenny' s .

Keywords

DIY Cats Miscellaneous Family Management Work Poopoo peepee Awkward Coworkers Relatable Frustration Am I overreacting? Capitalism Transportation Animals ADHD Dogs Dating Love Anxiety Mental health Technology Health Sleep Roommate Clumsy Noise AITA Confused Parents

The Top

Today, I got home from visiting my long-distance girlfriend. I spent $366 to get a plane ticket to visit her for the week. The day after I arrived there, she broke up with me and I had to buy a ticket for an earlier flight home. With fees and penalties, I paid around $550 to be broken up with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 711

You deserved it 5 223

Today, after being so jaded by failed relationships, I'd given a guy who slid into my Facebook Messenger a chance. We'd entered the talking stage, only to be told four months later that he’s found a girlfriend, and no longer wants to continue this interaction and blocked me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 634

You deserved it 277

The Top

Today, I offered to drive my girlfriend's grandpa to the doctor. I thus learned my girlfriend's grandfather has a colostomy bag when it burst all over the inside of my truck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 664

You deserved it 3 257

Today, I told my wife I wasn’t comfortable with her going out with an old guy friend. Petty, sure, but our sex life is non-existent. I found out that she's been seeing him behind my back for months, spent the night with him last week and claims there’s nothing going on. Trying to decide whether I should stay or go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 105

You deserved it 193

Today, a cute guy I recognized from one of my classes messaged me on a dating site. He wanted help with homework. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 928

You deserved it 2 155

Today, I did the best at-home manicure I’ve ever had. I took my time and it looked like it was done professionally. As soon as I put on the top coat and waited for it to dry, my stomach rumbled and I had to run to take a dump. The polish smeared everywhere, ruining the whole thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 622

You deserved it 371

Today, I was going down on my boyfriend. I'm usually in control and do my own thing. He tried taking control and I ended throwing up on him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 588

You deserved it 1 012

Today, I walked into a liquor store and thought about inquiring for a job application. After seeing the cashier, I thought about inquiring if she was single. After accidentally breaking three bottles of liquor, I didn't do either. I left the store, still single and unemployed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 939

You deserved it 30 137