Work: Useless tools

Useless tools

By IronMonkey - 09/06/2009 19:39 - United States

Today, I work for a company that sells a leading brand of condoms. They give away free condoms to employees at the office. I haven't gotten laid since I began working here. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 767

You deserved it 7 037

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Same thing different taste

Make believe

By SN MetalMilitia - 03/11/2020 05:02

Today, I once again bought condoms at the gas station to make the people who work there think that I have a sex life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 407

You deserved it 1 370

By Help - 16/09/2011 16:20 - Australia

Today, at work, I found a used condom in the fax machine. I'm the electrical maintenance repair for the company. I have to untangle it from the belts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 076

You deserved it 2 046

By PentiumBawls8 - 20/01/2010 22:38 - United States

Today, while at my job, I walked past one of my colleagues who has been sick for the past couple of days. She knows that I'm a tea drinker and asked me for a tea bag. While conversing with her, I handed her one and left. I then later realized that I gave her a condom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 168

You deserved it 32 934

By clash - 28/11/2008 06:30 - France

Today, I haven't had sex for so long that my condoms have gone off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 935

You deserved it 7 614

By Gurior - 04/09/2011 07:01 - Canada

Today, the condoms I bought a few years ago as a celebration of dumping my girlfriend due to a lack of sex, have expired. Every last one of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 921

You deserved it 48 793

By Anonymous - 30/10/2018 15:30

Today, I was fired from my job for sexual harassment. I was shopping after work, and I had to get my female manager to give me a package of extra-large condoms from the lockbox. I could not convince her that I was not flirting, and she took it to HR. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 126

You deserved it 707

Don't dip your pen in company ink, etc.

By Briana - 29/09/2019 22:00

Today, after 2 years of searching, I finally have a job that I love. Now I'm probably going to lose it because I started having sex with one of my managers, and our coworkers are starting to catch on. They caught on pretty much the day I told him that we should stop having sex so we wouldn't lose our jobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 545

You deserved it 3 312

Erection for Protection

By zingle af - 26/07/2017 20:00

Today, I realized how sex-deprived I am when the thought of owning condoms gave me a rock-solid erection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 560

You deserved it 634

By ADickySituation - 05/05/2013 04:14 - United States - Wilmette

Today, my dumbass colleague was too lazy to go buy balloons for a party in recognition of our company's huge merger. Instead, he made condom balloons. Let's just say you don't make blow up condoms for a prestigious company event. A company whose CEO is named Dick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 875

You deserved it 4 938

Shy boy

By Oops - 24/10/2009 13:14 - United Kingdom

Today, a friend asked me if I'd buy him some condoms because he's too shy to buy them himself. I obliged and whilst queuing at the till to buy them I felt someone tap my shoulder. I turned around to see my fiancée glaring at me. We don't use condoms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 983

You deserved it 6 825

panicked 0

Wednesday 10 June 2009 2:15

so the condoms are just piling up? give them to hobos in need or something.

um_duh 0

Wednesday 10 June 2009 2:15

Perhaps you need to get out more & find ladies you can test the product on? If all else fails get yourself a blow up doll ;)

Comments

thefauxjew 0

Wednesday 10 June 2009 2:32

yeah, condoms are usually bad luck for me too.

DanIsTheMan 1

Wednesday 10 June 2009 2:33

can you send them my way please, im sick of buying them!

bluegoldfish 7

Sunday 27 March 2011 15:50

free at all good family planning clinics :) no seriously, if you look like you might be at all young and irresponsible their anti-teen-mother-ness kicks in (and fair enough) and they give you like 20 each

NoMercy_fml 0

Wednesday 10 June 2009 2:35

At least you're saving the company money. Just do really good work and get promoted to a really high position and soon you'll be getting so much pussy you'll need to hire a pimp to organize all those bitches.

Diamondlightbulb 0

Wednesday 10 June 2009 2:40

Cinderella, wtf is up with you and 24788? Seriously! Go fall in a hole.

elen25 0

Wednesday 10 June 2009 2:41

who said working at a condom company will help you get laid? sheesh

jeri2011 0

Wednesday 10 June 2009 2:42

Unless you got laid the day before you got the job then it's not the work's fault. Also, if you're not going to use the free samples then give them back, or at least give them to someone else who would actually use them. Don't let them go to waste.