Relatable, Awkward, Dating, First Dates and Love: Wait, what?

Wait, what?

By Anonymous - 19/12/2012 01:49 - United States

Today, I was out on a dinner date when suddenly a girl walks up to us and says to my date, "Girl, you can do so much better." Hearing this, my date looks at me, nods, gets up and walks off. I still had to pay for everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 628

You deserved it 3 904

November 11: Memories and smiles
Historical anecdotes with a light touch to commemorate with a respectful smile. More…

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Same thing different taste

By steak through the heart - 18/11/2014 18:57 - United States - El Monte

Today, I went on a date. I took her out to an expensive steak house. When she was done eating, she got up, said she was married, and told me she only accepted the date because I'd be paying for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 070

You deserved it 4 128

By beta - 08/01/2019 12:00

Today, my date unexpectedly brought her friend to dinner with us. They seemed bored of me after ten minutes and left me out of their conversation for the rest of the night. Oh, and they made me pay for both of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 065

You deserved it 857

Paranoid

By Anonymous - 31/12/2014 18:12 - Australia

Today, I went on a date. After we finished our meal, I had to use the bathroom really bad. When I said so, my date totally lost it and accused me of planning on climbing out a window and ditching her. "Fuck that and fuck you!" she said, then stormed out, leaving me with the bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 559

You deserved it 2 947

Tonight on First Dates

By Anonymous - 02/04/2024 15:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I went on a date that went well, until the bill came and she quickly shoved it in my direction, then went to the loo. Rude, but I thought nothing of it… until our waiter took pity and told me I’m the fourth guy she’s had this week who'd been made to pay for her. I paid half, then went home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 689

You deserved it 114

By Anonymous - 01/03/2014 18:46 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I went on a date with a girl my friend set me up with. I thought we got along great, until after dessert, when I asked if she'd be interested in doing this again. She just said, "Nahhh" then got up and casually left, stiffing me on the bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 531

You deserved it 5 520

By anonymous - 19/11/2016 18:35 - Canada - New Westminster

Today, I was eating lunch on my first date with a really pretty girl, when my ex shows up at the same restaurant and starts telling her how bad of a boyfriend I was. My date left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 383

You deserved it 1 512

By well okay then - 20/05/2013 16:02 - Canada - Calgary

Today, I was going on a blind date with a girl. She walked up to the table, said "Nah, no thanks" and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 309

You deserved it 4 676

By j4 - 19/12/2014 23:27 - United Kingdom

Today, my date mugged me, just minutes after I paid our bill at the restaurant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 586

You deserved it 2 960

By OhDear - 24/02/2011 20:03 - United Kingdom

Today, I went on a date with a guy who seemed to be quite the gentleman. I was proven wrong when he told me to "shut it" during dinner, stiffed me on the bill, and then left me at the restaurant so he could get his own taxi home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 850

You deserved it 5 103

Love Island IRL

By Anonymous - 23/06/2024 23:00 - United Kingdom

Today, when my date realised I have a daughter, her actual response was, "Ew." She then got up from our table and went and sat at the bar. By the time I paid my half (and only my half) of the bill, she was already glommed onto another guy at the bar with her hand on his thigh. FML

I agree, your life sucks 570

You deserved it 191

DerrickJames 33

Wednesday 19 December 2012 9:54

Boy, you can do much better than her.

facepalmtoomuch 8

Wednesday 19 December 2012 9:55

She probably texted her friend to come and say that for her so she could go home and watch the season finale of Dexter.

Comments

hateevryone 14

Wednesday 19 December 2012 22:21

What a stupid bitch. It's her loss, not yours.

notepie 6

Thursday 20 December 2012 0:23

Well no shit who else is going to pay for your ugly ass!

DarkHeartAnime 4

Thursday 20 December 2012 6:47

Bitch.

zeck27 4

Thursday 20 December 2012 7:56

Wow! What a ****

neonberries 15

Thursday 20 December 2012 10:36

You would've had to pay at the end anyway!

lmbachman 23

Thursday 20 December 2012 12:22

Sounds like a set-up to me...

Ugi 26

Thursday 20 December 2012 13:53

How incredibly superficial! FYL!

hewro_failure 11

Friday 21 December 2012 7:04

Why would you want to be with such a raging biotch like that anyway

Maglandia 4

Saturday 22 December 2012 3:22

Wait.... how did the author (presumably male) treat the wait staff? That's usually a pretty good date killer and date observerist indicator...

Zlavigne1 4

Saturday 22 December 2012 16:16

Ouch!:/

Keywords

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The Top

Today, as I was walking to wash my hands after using the restroom, the guy walking away from the sink flicked water from his hands towards the floor. Water splashed all over my beige shorts. I had to walk back into class looking like I'd peed my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 835

You deserved it 442

Today, I drove past a firehouse that had volunteer firemen taking collections. I take out a $20 and start to roll the window down when I remember my window was broken. I ended up driving by, holding the $20 against the window, staring at the fireman. Now the fireman thinks I was taunting him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 842

You deserved it 17 114

The Top

Today, my wife told my 7-year-old son that he looks just like me. He began crying and said, "I don't want to be ugly like him." FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 455

You deserved it 4 919

Today, I was on my way to college when I got in a car wreck with none other than my professor. My car was totaled and couldn't drive, but his could so I missed class, but he still made it. The end result? He marked me as an "unexcused absence" and gave me a zero. The accident was his fault. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 926

You deserved it 632

Today, I called my mother to tell her that I got engaged. In the 15 minute conversation that followed, 13 were spent listening to how this is going to affect her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 470

You deserved it 3 346

Today, after a lot of complaints from other members, I told an old lady at the gym I work at that she couldn't sit in the sauna naked. She responded by grabbing her boobs and shaking them in my face. I don't get paid enough for this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 443

You deserved it 1 710

Today, a friend asked me if I could help him set up the stage for his wedding. Feeling honored that he considered me a close enough friend to aid him on his special day, I agreed to help. Turns out we aren't so close. I was asked to leave after I was done because I hadn't actually been invited. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 706

You deserved it 3 043

Today, I was talking with my mom about getting my school photos retouched. I believe her exact words were, "They'll take one look at you, and charge me triple." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 171

You deserved it 3 941