Wanker and Intimacy: Wanking yourself to death - FML

Wanking yourself to death

By SkinsCastSelection - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - France

Spicy

Today, I had an asthma attack because I was masturbating too vigorously. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 302

You deserved it 47 616

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Top comments

DocBastard 38

Monday 17 January 2011 23:51

Sounds like you just need more conditioning. Just keep practicing, work up your strength and endurance, and you'll be able to go on and on with your exercise routine! Good luck! *rereads FML* Wait, while masturb...oh, come on! Dude, no!!

iliketurdles 7

Monday 17 January 2011 23:14

Wow.. does this mean you would do the same through intercourse too? Just imagine someone started to have an asthma attack while you're in them or they're in you..

Comments

louie111887 0

Tuesday 18 January 2011 2:28

that's dangerous. I wonder what will happen if you have sex hahaha

Leyla13 0

Tuesday 18 January 2011 2:57

Bahahaaa Trueee

Perksofbeingawal 0

Tuesday 18 January 2011 3:23

Hahahahahahahahha I actually laughed at this FML. :/

varkey 7

Tuesday 18 January 2011 3:28

freak... YDI, obviously

unorthodoxnj 0

Tuesday 18 January 2011 3:49

epic fail

oneeyedheeler 0

Tuesday 18 January 2011 3:49

ydi for being to weak

kawaiisweetbunny 0

Tuesday 18 January 2011 3:54

sucks to have asthma

annigotammo 1

Tuesday 18 January 2011 3:57

awe sex should be interesting then.

Smexi101 0

Tuesday 18 January 2011 4:08

Wow...didn't know that was possible

wittyme 0

Tuesday 18 January 2011 4:29

ericow-- just the best show ever. thats why the americans doin their a US version. why dont ya check it out.

mountvernon 0

Tuesday 18 January 2011 5:23

is it a guy or chick???

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The Top

Today, I visited the best cafe for the fourth time in a week. I’ve tried not to flirt with the same (hot) barista, I even mentioned my partner, but we chat and joke every time, and get on well. After I said bye and left, I heard a hasty, “Love you, bye.” It's maybe a joke, but he’s a total catch, and I don't know if I can go back there now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 91

You deserved it 443

Today, my girlfriend won't stop complaining about the recent lack of intimacy in our relationship. There's an easy solution to this problem, but I'm currently covered in poison ivy rashes and she refuses to let me touch her until they clear up. Guess I'd better get used to itching and whining. FML

I agree, your life sucks 823

You deserved it 215

The Top

Today, I found my son's dead goldfish. Apparently, when it died he didn't flush it. Instead he placed it in one of my socks, placed that sock in a jar, and set the jar in the back of my closet. The fish has been dead for over a month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 526

You deserved it 2 858

Today, after coming home from a two week vacation, my dog was pink, there were beer bottles and used condoms on my bed, and everything was a mess. I asked my sister, who'd been watching over the place, what had happened. She just said, "Oops." and hung up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 209

You deserved it 3 925

Today, my boyfriend's response to me saying, "Most women like a bit of filth in the bedroom every now and again" was to start farting in bed. Not quite what I meant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 247

You deserved it 11 623

Today, after explaining that I never want kids, I was asked, "Are you sure? I have really strong swimmers." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 774

You deserved it 284

Today, we were taking a bio quiz and I understood the subject, so the people sitting behind me asked me to help them out. Being a kind fellow classmate, I did. When the teacher got suspicious, she asked the class, "How are all of you getting the same answers?" everyone pointed directly at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 174

You deserved it 3 333

Today, I inherited a lot of money from a great aunt that I had forgotten about. Her immediate family are all scumbags who were only after her money, so she willed it to me and my mom to say "fuck you" to them from beyond the grave. Now I keep getting threatening phone calls. Thanks auntie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 076

You deserved it 459