Intimacy: What are you doing?

What are you doing?

By dating a moron - 14/12/2014 17:30 - United States - Dearborn

Today, as I was about to lose my virginity to my girlfriend, she started doing stupidly fake moaning, which then went really high-pitched like a little girl's, killing my hard-on. She says she thought that because I'm Japanese-American, I'd only be able to come if she copied "those Japanese pornstars". FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 663

You deserved it 5 075

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Same thing different taste

By Perdito_Coño - 05/09/2014 20:55 - Australia - Quakers Hill

Today, I was about to lose my virginity to my girlfriend. Unfortunately, she started fake-moaning like a pornstar before I even entered her, totally killing the mood and my boner. She swore she hadn't moaned, accused me of not finding her attractive enough, and angrily left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 752

You deserved it 7 616

By Anonymous - 22/12/2013 08:45 - Canada - Richmond

Today, while going down on my girlfriend, she stopped moaning and told me to stop because she couldn't fake it anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 526

You deserved it 16 760

No good

By :(( - 28/09/2013 21:24 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I was all set to lose my virginity to my girlfriend. I was ecstatic, until she threatened to "beat the fuck" out of me if I didn't make it good for her. The actual sex was 30 seconds of me being given death glares, causing me to lose my boner, and have to leave in shame. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 436

You deserved it 8 032

By katie - 25/05/2011 08:23

Today, as my girlfriend and I were making love, and she started to moan and groan. All of a sudden, she stopped and said, "I'm lying, you suck at this." FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 973

You deserved it 19 174

Sounds hot

By oops999 - 19/11/2013 19:46 - United States - Downingtown

Today, my girlfriend and I were going to have sex. To set the mood, she suggested we watch a porno she once starred in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 014

You deserved it 9 488

Let down

By anonymous - 21/06/2009 02:00 - United States

Today, I took my girlfriend's virginity. A few minutes in she remarked, "If this is what sex is normally like then I'm seriously disappointed." FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 231

You deserved it 17 261

By Anonymous - 14/03/2013 16:59 - Germany - Dortmund

Today, my girlfriend and I were going to get intimate, so I masturbated before leaving my place, hoping it would help me last longer than usual. 10 minutes in, she shoved me off and started screaming at me, convinced that I've been cheating on her and practising with someone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 730

You deserved it 10 556

By sexisntfun - 30/03/2015 02:13 - United States

Today, I was about to lose my virginity to my girlfriend, with whom I am genuinely in love. Right after I'd got the condom on, she said, "You do know this is break-up sex, right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 317

You deserved it 3 184

By Anon. - 01/03/2011 23:51 - United States

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be sexy to stick her finger up my ass during sex. I screamed like a little girl and barely managed to finish. Afterward, she said, 'Now you know how it feels.' FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 613

You deserved it 91 021

New skills

By Anonymous - 27/09/2020 08:03 - United Kingdom - Bristol

Today, I lost my virginity. Today, I also learned how to fake an orgasm. Twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 111

You deserved it 1 199

Sandman366 6

Monday 15 December 2014 0:23

"I'm not dating a Japanese pornstar. I'm dating you. Just be you, please...."

kingcaper817 14

Monday 15 December 2014 0:18

Yeah that's sorta racist sorry about that op that must've scarring. You'll find someone better

Comments

Frustrated78 11

Wednesday 24 December 2014 10:48

Oh please don't get her pregnant. There are enough idiots in this world.

Passerbyer 10

Friday 26 December 2014 6:39

Completely misguided, but I believe she meant well.

NostalgiaFreak9 41

Saturday 27 December 2014 15:43

It seems people do dumb shit like that without even thinking about how offensive it can be.

TopazHobson 4

Thursday 1 January 2015 4:44

At least she was trying though.

Soninuva 41

Tuesday 3 March 2015 17:19

On the plus side, think about this: your girlfriend cared enough to watch **** for you in an attempt to emulate it to satisfy you. Yes, it wasn't that bright, but at least she cares! And for those commenting how inappropriate it is for her to even think in stereotypes, bear in mind that in some areas, people are still raised (even in this day and age) to believe that certain stereotypes, and even racism, is normal. While this doesn't necessarily excuse it, it explains why one might do so unthinkingly.