Make up and Miscellaneous: What are you doing? - FML

What are you doing?

By anon - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - Wareham

Today, I spilled loose face powder on myself while applying my make-up. My sister subsequently walked in on me vacuuming my crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 841

You deserved it 4 580

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Same thing different taste

Experimental

By AshleyP - 04/04/2014 14:17 - United Kingdom

Today, while showering, I pulled on my white exfoliating gloves ready to wash my face. As I was about to use them, a dark stain caught my eye so I sniffed the mark, only to discover it was poop. After further investigation, I found out my younger sister had been wearing them and "experimenting". FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 456

You deserved it 4 556

By bloody hell - 04/06/2015 05:59 - Philippines - Para?aque

Today, my sister and I had a fight. In her rage, she threw piles of dirty laundry at me. One of her bloody panties hit me on the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 983

You deserved it 3 860

Shared towel

By shitface - 06/01/2020 14:00 - United States - Arlington

Today, after I took a shower, I was wiping my face with the towel I share with my sister. It smelled peculiar, so I took my face away and looked at it. Turns out, I was wiping my face on a huge shit stain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 062

You deserved it 1 241

Puppet show

By Noname - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my sister had a friend over and I had just gotten out of the shower. I wrapped something around me and walked across the living room. When I walked through, they both started laughing hysterically. Turns out I'd grabbed a poncho and the hole for the head ended up right over my crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 457

You deserved it 42 240

John Tucker would've known what to do.

By Dan - 09/10/2017 04:30

Today, in a rush, I accidentally wore my sister's underwear. I'm a guy. I had gym class today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 680

You deserved it 3 111

By mindy12182 - 29/12/2018 17:00 - United States - Des Moines

Today, while doing my disabled client's makeup I got my period. I'm hoping that she didn't notice a red stain on her white bedspread when I stood up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 394

You deserved it 624

By redisnotmycolor - 16/11/2009 01:46 - United States

Today, while putting on makeup, I got a face full of bloody scratches instead of an even skin tone. Turns out my makeup sponge was full of bits of glass. My little brother forgot to tell me he shattered a mirror beside my makeup box. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 984

You deserved it 3 553

Rip it up and start again

By Anonymous - 09/02/2022 02:00 - Germany - Norden

Today, after cleaning my mom’s bathroom, I wiped the molding strip along the wall so it was even. A quite precariously-hung potted plant thought that reason enough to fall right on top of me, spreading dirt over the entire room as well as my hair, my sweater, and the inside of my bra. FML

I agree, your life sucks 849

You deserved it 127

Bad pranks are annoying

By Anonymous - 17/01/2020 20:00

Today, my sister snuck into the bathroom while I was in the shower (the lock is broken) and took my clothes and towels. I came out and quickly went to my room. As I went in, my sister was sitting on my bed with two friends watching TV. I instantly covered up, but they saw everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 703

You deserved it 324

Whooped

By leah - 16/10/2019 22:00

Today, I was standing in the shower drying off when my sister came in the bathroom. She must have thought I was a burglar because she hit the shower curtain and punched me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 470

You deserved it 140

Next

Top comments

ILoveFluttershy 3

Thursday 31 May 2012 19:00

"I swear it's not what it looks like!"

Queen_Cosmos 7

Thursday 31 May 2012 19:00

Explain what happened, she may be suspicious, but it's worth a try.

Comments

chrystine 2

Saturday 2 June 2012 3:57

What did face powder have to do with anything

hjanelle14 2

Saturday 2 June 2012 4:05

dafuq did I just read?

cnorris31 2

Saturday 2 June 2012 7:14

What's wrong with her neck

wolfy4815 2

Saturday 2 June 2012 8:43

pffft thats normal

lumoloxi 0

Wednesday 6 June 2012 16:24

are u a boy or a girl

queeennnale 18

Saturday 27 October 2012 23:25

Wtf

press_start_bro 21

Wednesday 19 June 2013 8:12

Where you naked?! If so, why you were doing your makeup naked, And why wouldn't You have just brushed it off And put pants on?! (If not, why wouldn't You have just changed pants???)

randybryant799 20

Sunday 1 August 2021 2:27

So you tell her what happened? I'm missing the problem.

Keywords

Animals Cats Poopoo peepee Gross Love Awkward Smells Embarrassing Miscellaneous Health Painful First Dates Christmas Work Music Grieving Social Media Anniversary Boredom Intimacy Abuse Ironic Drunk AITA Am I overreacting? Transportation Alcohol Gun control Kids Parents

The Top

Today, I had an interview for my dream job. Things were going well, the lady was about to offer me the job, but then I got the hiccups. She immediately changed her tone and said, “Yeah, I think we’re done here. Next time, don’t show up to a job interview drunk.” I had no alcohol in my system. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 562

You deserved it 98

Today, thanks to too many true crime podcasts and shows, my wife has lost her marbles. She now insists we use code names for our kids while out in public, so that no predators will hear their real names and follow us home to kidnap them. She’s completely serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 926

You deserved it 140

The Top

Today, I saw a dermatologist to see if they would remove my moles for cosmetic reasons. Turns out 5 of them are suspicious and need to be removed anyway. Good news: I don’t have to pay for it. Bad news: it might be because they’re cancerous. FML

I agree, your life sucks 534

You deserved it 114

Today, the owner of the restaurant I work at texted me to let me know the manager does not want me to come in anymore. Why? I'm the most praised of the staff by the customers and they love me, which makes the manager look bad. The owner hired me solely for customer service in the first place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 186

You deserved it 876

Today, my girlfriend and I went out for ice cream. We somehow started talking about which of our relatives had died. Right when she was talking about how her grandfather had died, I started laughing. She had gotten ice cream all over her face. She broke up with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 217

You deserved it 40 488

Today, I walked around town by myself for four hours because I was too ashamed to tell my parents that I have no friends willing to spend time with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 138

You deserved it 4 701

Today, the school nurse called me in. She said she knew I was pregnant and she was worried about how it was affecting my grades. I'm not pregnant. Apparently I'm just stupid and fat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 343

You deserved it 5 788

Today, I went on my fifth date with my new girlfriend. Apparently, she was in such a rush while leaving work that she forgot to take off her wedding ring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 316

You deserved it 3 662